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Mikala
Savvy October 2021

Reception

Mikala, on March 7, 2021 at 8:31 PM

Posted in Wedding Reception 37

HELPPPPPP I do not know what to do, me and my fiancé were pretty set on not doing a reception, just doing a ceremony and light refreshments immediately following the ceremony, buuuut my parents have recently been pushing for a reception, I’m my dads only daughter, so I understand where he is coming...
HELPPPPPP
I do not know what to do, me and my fiancé were pretty set on not doing a reception, just doing a ceremony and light refreshments immediately following the ceremony, buuuut my parents have recently been pushing for a reception, I’m my dads only daughter, so I understand where he is coming from wanting to do one for me, he would completely be paying for it in full, we wouldn’t be paying for anything by, my dads already made that very clear, and a part of me would like to do one, I always thought I’d have one with a reception and do the whole thing, but once we started planning it was kinda just easier to go just a ceremony kinda way. Now our wedding is in October and my parents really wanna take the chain and throw a whole reception for us too. Personally I wouldn’t mind it. But my fiancé is a different story. He’s not directly saying he doesn’t want one, he’s upset the plans keep changing and we only have 7 months until this happens. He says he just wants a plan within the month of what’s happening. But I can tell he’s not thrilled about the idea of a reception. Because he really didn’t care to have the whole party. But I kinda do now. And I don’t know what to do!
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37 Comments

  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    Lol okay 😆.
    It's hard to find examples of these type of weddings because people don't do this. Cake and punch, cocktail party or BBQ/pizza are fine as long as you plan a reception. The point is you thank your guests for coming. The original poster said "just doing a ceremony and light refreshments immediately following the ceremony," light refreshments: this count as a reception in my opinion.
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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    That was my fantasy: short ceremony, amazing apps - beer and wine (cos I’m not spending 10k for reception food and decor and DJ) champagne toast, cut the cake then it’s done- 4 hours tops... then hit the local bars for dancing and booze for the hardcore guests.
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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    I agree Michelle. I've never said that skipping the reception in this situation ceremony was okay. However The OP mentioned the light refreshments.
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    That's a standard wedding

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  • Kristin
    Devoted December 2021
    Kristin ·
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    Depending on how many guests you have, could you just all go out to dinner after the ceremony? Then you still have a celebration but in a much more relaxed way.
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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    No real food or dancing? I’ve never been to a wedding that doesn’t have dancing and booze and a full meal
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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    Your fantasy is definitely "okay".
    As long as you provide food and drinks.
    4 hours top: not a big deal, you don't have to have the traditional 6-7 hours event.
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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    Oh and my 4 hours is in and out for set up and clean up so I guess the part for guests would be 2.5 hours 😉 but I like the validation/ I’m getting pushback from family/ much like the original post- only I am the one paying for it. 25k sounds so expensive when it could remodel my kitchen! Lol
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    They crunch the entire reception: dinner and dancing into that time frame. Many weddings don't have full meals: they may have heavy appetizers, light refreshments, desserts only. Every group is different. Some have dancing and some don't. Alcohol is always optional but better suited for a full meal or heavy appetizers because it doesn't mix with light refreshments or desserts only.

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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    It’s not the time it’s the cost...
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Are you needing cost cutting tips?

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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    I think the number one cost cutting tip is not to have a wedding in California... haven’t gotten a single quote for food under 10k
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Have you checked into restaurant drop off catering? It's extremely inexpensive with more food and better tasting.

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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    Lol You're funny!!

    But you made a great point: More and more couples are planning to do a casual,shorter reception because they want to spend that money on a car, a house, a mortage ... Or they don't want to spend 25k (or less) for a 6-7 h party. It makes sense.

    The fact you're paying for it means that the family members can pushback all they want ...

    Yep 2,5 h is acceptable , less than 1 h wouldn't be.

    However: if you're having some guests who are travelling from accros the country, it might sound rude IMO.

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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    Of course the wedding is at a beach resort town not nearby lol- I am blocking off hotel rooms and paying for the parking but that is the argument for a reception- people traveling for a couple of hours - so rude not to feed them and do a big long party... they can always say no though right? It’s so nice to get feedback from people on this site! I guess cutting my invite list is the best way to save money... 🤷🏼‍♀️ I want 70 but have more than 100 on the invite list ... sigh I’m sure my decisions will be easier once I get a planner - they probably have a ton of cost cutting ideas... but a new kitchen sounds so much better than a big party hahaha
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    When you have guests, you have to receive them and provide them with refreshments to thank them for coming, i.e. a reception.

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  • T
    Dedicated July 2022
    Tyff ·
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    That’s a good idea- but I think my venue requires a licensed caterer - I’ll read over the contract to double check.
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