Reception with no dancing?

I'm not having dancing at my wedding either since I most guests wont participate, my venue provides lawn games and such - I prefer to sit around and talk during weddings and am not big on dancing either. I think it would be fine for you to just do cake and punch. I think it would be great to provide games, you could host a bags tournament or something - I was thinking about doing that for mine and offering a prize to the winners

Yes, this sounds great! You should have a reception if you want one, and while many people do have dancing/cocktails, it's still a party without them. You'll have that memory, of your loved ones enjoying an afternoon together AND no bad feelings about some people being upset. You are still hosting a lovely reception.

And you could have an "after" type gathering in the evening and go to a club/pub/bar with anyone who wants to.

I think you and your fiancé need to sit down and discuss exactly what the two of you are envisioning for your reception regardless of what others want. It is not clear from your post, if you actually would want dancing or not or if you are just willing not to have dancing at your reception to appease your dad. If you do, then I think you need to have a very serious conversation with him. While he is paying for the food, he can't dictate whether there is dancing or not. We aren't living in Footloose here where the town outlaws dancing. I've been to weddings with very limited dancing and yawn games and I very bored because I don't drink and lawn games really aren't my thing. I think if you want to just do yawn games and beer and wine that's fine, but it might really depend on your crowd.

The alternative is to have a reception line, just you two and parents, and cake and punch, for everyone. That includes any members of the congregation who just showed up, as well as guests invived.
Then everyone properly hosted, leaves. And come evening have a by- invitation- only supper or dinner and dancing ( not called a reception), with a live band or DJ, and a bar. Smaller, targeted to who wants it. You folks and younger or non-religious friends.
One thing that is out. You never hold yhe later dinner dance or party with liwuor at the same place as the cake and punch, a short time earlier. That leads to the impression you kicked people out after cake, with nicer things coming. You had an acceptable reception greeting all who attended, offering a sweet and beverage. This, later and at a different location, is a totally different thing.Keep them separate.

No dancing receptions are extremely common in church settings. Guests eat and mingle and are more than happy to do so without the desire for other entertainment beyond background music.


However you and fiancé need to decide what you want and go from there. If your guests don’t like your plans, they are free to not attend or leave early.

I think an afternoon wedding with a backyard BBQ vibe sounds lovely!

I think the timing of the reception works as a backyard BBQ vibe with games. I would definitely make sure there is some entertainment such as games. If you envisioned dancing at your wedding I don't think you should completely take that out of your wedding for your dad. It'd be sad to see him not attend just because there was casual dancing... You're already having alcohol which he is opposed to so if you really want dancing what is the difference at that point? Do what you want and envisioned and not to just appease everyone. But otherwise as long as you have games and maybe some background music it'd be a perfect backyard reception.

View Quoted Comment Update: just talked to my father. Unfortunately even the beer and wine is a no go and my family won't attend any wedding festivities if we serve it after. Back to square one i guess. Ugh this just really sucks. Either my family is offended by drinking being even associated and doesn't come or fiance's family feels ripped off and runs for the doors because it's boring. I really iust want a few hours of being with all my loved ones and them feeling treated. Kinda heartbroken rn.

I am so sorry. That is really frustrating that they can't meet you in the middle.

Lots of people might tell you, it's your wedding and you should just do what you and your fiancé want. But it sounds like this would mean a lot of family drama and your family not attending which would be super hard.
I had an afternoon wedding with no dancing and no alcohol. our church allowed us to use the church and backyard for free and because we had a small budget that's what we did. When I realized that that meant no dancing and no alcohol and wedding from 1 to 5pm, I struggled. I am from Germany and had my wedding been there it probably would have been from 2pm to 2am at least and with alcohol and dancing.

But it turned out absolutely beautiful. We served a full meal around 3pm. We had some live music. We finished around 6pm. It was beautiful. It was not what I would have envisioned before. Not my dream wedding. But it was what was possible for us and it felt perfect the day of.

Someone else here just shared about having a mocktail bartender and an ice cream truck. If you decide to go the non-alcohol, no-dancing route maybe you can do something like that so your guests feel served well and enjoy themselves. If it's a day time wedding and you have something special your other guests might not really miss the alcohol and partying. A backyard BBQ-vibe sounds great to me.

View Quoted Comment It sounds like they are being completely unreasonable and I say that as someone who doesn't drink. Do they refuse to go restaurants if they have any alcohol on the menu? Would you consider having an after party with alcohol and dancing?

OP, I am so sorry to read your update. I thought your idea sounded lovely and like a wonderful compromise. So when you say your family won't attend wedding festivities with alcohol, does that mean they wouldn't even attend your ceremony if you had a reception with alcohol? I like Judith's idea—cake and punch with everyone immediately following the ceremony, and then an after party a few hours later with drinks, dancing, whatever you want. I do think that'll divide your guests—your family would obviously not come to the after party and some of your alcohol-friendly guests who have a distance to drive might skip the ceremony unless they get a hotel for the night.

I know you can't change his mind, but Veronica brings up valid points that make his views seem totally whacked! He's never been anywhere, ever, where people were drinking? He's going to learn that part of having children means they grow up and form their own identities and families and compromises need to be made. Would he not want to see you on Christmas if your in-laws were there and wanted a bottle of wine? Also, it is not a Biblical mandate to not drink. That is a man-made tradition and God's Word definitely supersedes that!

View Quoted Comment Some people don't compromise. You will have to have separate things or nothing, before you have 1 inch
toward any center line.
Try outlining a cake and punch, first, and a separate after party. My first wedding, we had finished wedding planning, and I had met my FILs once. FH had been planning things thinking they would get to see thongs our way. All efforts to compromisefailed. I rhe end we had 2 sessions. Each happy, easier than making opposites come together. And just cake and punch can be done in 60-90 minutes. End in after one hour, and take pictures. Party 2 later.