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Just Said Yes July 2018

Reception Redo

Mrs.Mole, on August 2, 2018 at 6:58 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 13

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Okay... I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m thinking of doing a reception redo on my one year anniversary. Our wedding was only a couple of days ago, but I cannot stop crying and my husband has been silently livid since.

We spent so much time, energy, and effort on our big day. Every single minute we weren’t at work was spent on wedding planning for 8 months.

We had a contract with the venue that said clean up would take place about one hour before the event end time. It’s was a HUGE property and that seemed acceptable to us. Because of this, we hired two people to put everything on the whole property back into our trucks, so that the crew could do their work. Everything was planned perfectly.

Two days before the wedding our caterer canceled. The excuse was that they had accidentally double booked. They refunded all of our money. The two assistants flaked out and never showed up. And the cleaning crew showed up 2 hours before the end time instead one 1 hour before, and they would not leave.

4 of our closest invited friends ended up cooking all day long to make the reception food. They even missed the ceremony. I barely saw my mother or mother-in-law at all. My brothers went missing because they were setting up everything the 2 flakes were supposed to do. Then we finally are able to relax at 7:30 for dancing and drinking and the cleaning crew showed up at 8:00 and started forcing us out.

My my brother got in fistfight with the cleaners after he showed them the contract and they just threw it back in his face.

The dance floor was empty, people left after the cleaners came, the dessert bar went back into their boxes without anyone ever eating any, the DJ left because the cleaners told him to pack up, and our decor was being ripped down while people were just standing there. I never got to dance one single song with my brothers (who I am very close with) or my mom. And I cut my cake alone in a dark side room with just my hubby. I don’t even think there’s a photo of it.

In the end, the people I love the very most went home angry and sad. They felt robbed of what we had all worked so hard for. My family pulled together so hard, as we always do, when things went sideways. But the cleaners tipped the scales so hard that there was no recovering it.

I don’t want to be “that girl”, but I want to have those special moments with my family. I know it won’t be the same. You only get married once. And I’m almost afraid that a redo would just be a forced and painful attempt at what I can never truly get back. I feel sad, embarrassed, and like a total failure. And I don’t know what to do.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by BB-H, on August 3, 2018 at 5:40 PM

Super August 2018
FutureMrsO · on August 2, 2018 at 8:04 AM
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I’m so sorry that that happened to you!! That is terrible. Honestly if I were you, I’d want to do a vow renewal in a year as well in order to really celebrate with everyone. I say go for it
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Devoted September 2018
Kalie · on August 2, 2018 at 8:13 AM
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Honestly this sucks but is forcing everyone to do it over honestly going to make it better? I would instead focus on the wedding positives. You married the person you love and that’s a lot pretty cool thing.
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Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on August 2, 2018 at 8:15 AM
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You had a terrible experience, but trying to recreate something in a year isn't going to change anything. A redo in a year seems excessive. Wait until your five or 10 year anniversary and see how you feel then.
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VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on August 2, 2018 at 8:53 AM
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What about a lovely dinner for 20 or something along those lines? You can do this in private dining space at a restaurant and have a small cocktail hour then sit down for a family style meal and go all out with lobster and steak or whatever your special foods are. Laugh the night away while sipping on champagne and be sure to have a photographer for an hour or two of this. Much cheaper than a full reception and intimate with those whom you didn't get to spend much time with.
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Expert June 2019
Amarriedmann · on August 2, 2018 at 9:07 AM
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I agree with this. In one year the unfortunate circumstances will still be too fresh in everyone’s mind - including yours. Instead, focus on how awesome your family is and write heartfelt thank you notes to each and every person who helped. It will take the sting out of the experience, they will appreciate your expression of gratitude and it may be very cathartic for you.

I know you feel helpless right now but this can be a way to take control of your actions and feelings without constantly wishing for a time machine. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family. Weddings are stressful but life has to keep moving along. I’m sure you are constantly replaying everything in your head. Do NOT allow this to create strife between you and your new hubby. Make an open declaration to him that you will reshift your focus onto your marriage rather than the wedding. I know you are heartbroken over this and I wish you both the best.
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Super October 2018
Tammy · on August 2, 2018 at 9:08 AM
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I'm so sorry that happened. What about a big BBQ or something in a year. Nothing crazy fancy but you can still have a good time? Like a big anniversary party?
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Expert September 2018
Christine · on August 2, 2018 at 10:02 AM
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I'm sorry that happened to you. Maybe you can renew your vows in a year and have a small party what's your close family and friends.
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Master October 2018
HayMrsO · on August 2, 2018 at 1:17 PM
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I am so sorry this happened to you guys. That is an absolute nightmare. Who hired the cleaning crew? The venue? I would be on a social media blitz announcing what happened to you so that it doesn't happen to anyone else. And I would also be asking for my money back since, basically, you got no reception. I am livid for you.
I don't know if having a redo will make it better. I would give it some time.
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Master June 2018
KarenO · on August 2, 2018 at 1:29 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear about all of that. I agree with others to focus on your new husband and your close family to try to put this in the past (and to also complain about the clean-up crew and try to get a refund).
I think a nice, intimate anniversary dinner with your close family and friends could be a way to create new special memories of some of the things that you missed at your wedding.
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Dedicated November 2018
Megan · on August 2, 2018 at 1:34 PM
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Let me say a couple of this...first and foremost I would contact everyone who didn't do as the contracts outlined The two assistants need to be held accountable, the cleaners need to be held accountable, etc. You have people who can back up your claims so move forward with either monetary damages or small claims court if you are interested. I know you are heartbroken that the day didn't go as you planned and everyone is upset now but trust me in 5-10 years you will have the perfect story to tell your kids, family, etc and you will laugh at how things turned out. I know you are fuming right now and you have every right to but in the end you will laugh, I promise. I would also recommend having a vow renewal at 5 years, allowing you to have the ceremony, reception, etc that you originally wanted.
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Just Said Yes September 2010
sisplanner · on August 3, 2018 at 2:06 PM
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I agree. Have a nice formal anniversary dinner for very close friends and relatives. I understand how you feel. My DJ/ a friend didn't show up...forgot to tell me he had to work! So there was NO dancing. The place I rented was way too small for the number of people that "showed" up. I have a lot of regrets but now it's been 25 years and I am helping my daughter plan her wedding and I have a lot of tips to help her avoid those issues.
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Devoted September 2016
MrsBlah · on August 3, 2018 at 2:39 PM
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Totally agree with this
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VIP September 2018
BB-H · on August 3, 2018 at 5:40 PM
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I have no advice for you unfortunately, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that a day you worked so hard for ended the way it did, with so many issues and no chance for those moments that you were excited for.
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