Reception Only — Rude?

I don't think it's rude at all especially since you did a small intimate family with very few guests. Covid has messed up many things when it came to weddings this year, and your situation seems to be one of the new norms. To have a small intimate ceremony and celebrate with family and friends at a later date.


If they can't understand that Covid changes things, then that's completely on them. I don't see a problem and wouldn't be offended if I were one of your guests

Not rude. After experiencing life as a covid bride I would not judge how anyone proceeds with their ceremony at all and would be honored to be part of the after party. In fact, we were recently invited to a wedding event exactly like this (invited to the party only, which was later the same day as ceremony), I think this is becoming more common in this covid world. Good luck!

Personally, I think it can be hurtful to guests that weren't included. The whole point of a wedding is to be there to support and witness the couple get married so excluding them from that experience may not be received well by all involved. My husband originally wanted to get in a state park on a small island and we wouldn't have been able to include very many people at the ceremony. He wanted to host a larger reception following the ceremony, but I was against the idea and so were our families and friends.

I have actually been to a reception only wedding! They wanted to keep their ceremony private, though I think they did invite their parents to the ceremony, and then we all came for a very laid back backyard reception. They styled it so it was very casual and we went in shorts and t shirts. I don’t think it is rude at all. I will say though, for these kinds of weddings we didn’t give as much of a gift as we would a traditional wedding because of the layout, so that might be something to keep in mind. However, it sounds like you don’t really care about that and just want an enjoyable experience and I think you’ll find most people don’t have issues with that.

Pre-COVID, I personally never liked the idea of a ceremony for a select group of people, and then a reception for everyone. I would still never say anything, though.

However, we all know how much things have changed.

We ended up having a ceremony + reception for about 35 people, and hoped to have a larger party for our original list in 2022, but I don't know how realistic that is.

If people are aware that the ceremony is literally just for you, your parents, and the officiant, I don't see how they couldn't be understanding.

I think that your dinner-only event sounds lovely, intimate, and memorable. Don't let your FMIL sway you from what you are comfortable with and want to do.

Not rude at all. Especially after covid. Normal wedding etiquette has changed. A lot of couples are deciding to have an intimate ceremony and larger reception.

I dont think its rude at all. Go for it!

I think his family needs to be more understanding of your wants as a couple. Every couple is different and should get are married the way they want to.

This is completely fine. Not rude at all.

I don't think it's rude, as long as the ceremony is limited to immediate family/wedding party only. I say go for it!

This is fine since the ceremony is only open to parents. The only time it's rude is if you have like a 50 person ceremony and 100 person reception.

Etiquette rules still apply during Covid. It is the rules and guidelines for navigating social situations so no reason for it to be irrelevant out of the blue. You need to have a reception the same day for those who attended the ceremony, even if that is just dinner with no other activities. Send announcements to those you are unable to invite to the ceremony. A reception for anyone not attending the ceremony is always rude. It gives the message they were not good enough to attend the main event but they're good enough for a gift, etc.


You can have a post-wedding dinner but it's not a reception unless those who attended the ceremony only are invited. Be prepared for people to not attend.

Not rude at all! Just let everyone know that due to covid restrictions at the venue you had to limit the ceremony to only your parents. No one can be mad at you for following restrictions mandated by the venue. Don’t waste any more time stressing about this girl! You are going to have a sweet, intimate ceremony and a fantastic time with your closest family and friends afterward!!

View Quoted Comment Etiquette has always approved of very small family, or in some religions, just members, for the ceremony. Followed either a short time later or in a different location, by a reception. The delay is so people don't come early, mid ceremony, and feel shut out. But a very small family ceremony and a reception meal later for a larger group of extended family and friends has always been accepted, long before Covid. Check an old or current Emily Post, Miss Manners, Letitia Baldwin, or other general Etiquette and Social Manners, or Wedding Etiquette Book. ... For some reason, on WW , that private family weddings with additional people only at a reception meal, are wrong. They are not. They have always been accepted. ... What is NOT accepted, is having a large number at the ceremony, and sending some away before any collation or meal reception. Or, having the ceremony, and the meal, and then having people join you whom you would not pay a meal for. That is rude., according to social etiquette.

View Quoted Comment I completely disagree. A worldwide pandemic most certainly warrants massive changes to everything we do, including social/wedding etiquette. In many cultures it is considered incredibly rude to not hug, kiss, touch the feet, or some other form of close contact when greeting friends or family. But each of those cultures have made changes to what is considered socially acceptable due to the pandemic. It is not the social norm to wear masks and stay 6 feet away from eachother, but we have made changes. It is not socially normal to make people stand outside businesses and wait their turns to enter a store, but we’re doing it. Heck, governments have changed rules, regulations, laws in response to this virus! So by no means do traditional etiquette rules for a wedding supersede all these things. Couples are going through enough trying to plan their weddings during this crazy time, and it’s totally unrealistic to think they could follow normal rules during this very NOT normal time.

Emily Post's etiquette, 17th Edition ..







That is standard etiquette for far more than a Century. Until a few churches changed their policies, family only religious weddings at home, or in the church of choice, followed by a larger guest list reception, were about half of all weddings in US, as recently as the post War period through the sixties. Those decreased but are still common, as weddings became secular more often, with a venue hosting both ceremony and reception, and some churches requiring their ceremonies be carried out in their churches.

View Quoted Comment A reception is a type of party, usually to introduce someone, or in their honor. Whether it starts with a receiving line exiting a church or entering a reception, or starts in the reception area, the new person or guest of honor is introduced to the group. Then, during the event, either the guests of honor and a host remain in a limited area, so that guests can each come up and be introduced, or have a brief conversation, and people who know them well just come to talk, often offering congratulations. Or, the guests of honor circulate, working their way through a room, or visiting
table to table. At a reception, everyone has an opportunity to be introduced and talk with the important person, as you would " receive" someone in your parlor if a guest in a home. A dinner after a wedding, however long after ( days, weeks, months), in which there is a receiving line, or where introductions are made and every person talks with the couple or persons introduced, is a reception. A dinner where there is no attempt for the honorees to talk with each guest at some point, is not a reception. University faculty, clergy, and grass roots politicians, are usually introduced to all in reception format parties. It is not a reception if all enter a dinner and greet the honoree at a distance, and never see them again, like at a charity event . A party where you never see the host because they stick with a all group, with no attempt to circulate and talk to all guests, is not a reception. But the fact that it is a dinner in a restaurant an hour or a month or a year later does not mean it cannot be called a reception. It is a matter of every guest having an opportunity to talk with the host couple or honoree, that makes it a reception or not.

Personally, I'm not a fan of reception only weddings. Jmho. I don't understand why Covid would be applicable here since you're still getting 50 people together for the reception, when people are more likely to move about and mingle. It's your wedding...but as a guest, I prefer to be invited to both.

View Quoted Comment OP said limiting people at the ceremony is due to venue restrictions in response to county mandates. I am assuming her ceremony venue has more limitations than the restaurant where they are hosting the meal after.

I don't think this is rude at all. Do what is best for you. If anyone is offended it is because of their ego not you.