Reception Killers

1. No alcohol

2. Quiet/reserved crowd (even if there is alcohol - you aren't going to dance if no one else is)

3. Weird music (we went to a reception once that had a band of old guys and they were trying to sing rap songs like stanky leg...it killed me inside)

4. Chaos in general. Whether it's a SUPER long buffet or bar line, the DJ making too many announcements you can't hear, having to move to one room to dance then one room to eat then one room for pictures, etc.

5. Bad DJ.

We did a grand exit, but it was at the end of the night when everyone else was boarding buses anyway so it's not like it stopped the party early! We had a guest bus leave at 9 PM and the rest leave at 11 PM. Literally 4 people left at 9 PM, everyone else (120) stayed until 11 PM. I think the open bar, great DJ, and fun crowd helped that a lot!

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Thank you!

Food was late. My best friend had her caterer arrive an hour and a half later than agreed upon. The old people were cranky, the young people were about to jump the caterer.
Thank goodness for the DJ trying to keep us occupied that day.

Wow that’s so sad! And I’m sure she did this early because the photographer was only until a certain time and she wanted this photograph.

I think what was mention before sums it up in general.
I do want to add you need fun people. I had the best bridal party possible, a group of 4 girls that are all skill in their own way and they’re so fun and so good at bringing people over. They kept the party going none stop, everyone dancing at all times. So a fun crowd is very important! We had 47 guest in total including husband and I and we dance the night out. I have amazing pictures of everyone in the dance floor.
Another one that’s is important is pick up and clean up. I went to a wedding that the family was doing the pick up and they started cleaning up tables and tablecloths, chairs and all that it got to a point everyone started slowly leaving. Avoid this! If you have help cleaning make it the pick up of the plates that people ate and the glasses. Do not remove centerpieces, tablecloths or chairs.

The last wedding I went to in March the bar ran out of alcohol an hour and a half before the reception ended. The groom was so excited to end the reception and start the after party that they did the send off at 9:45 instead of 10. We then went back to their hotel to meet up for the after party to go laser tagging and they end up deciding that they were too tired and went to bed. Also they didn't have a DJ just an iPad connected to the sound system.

One recent wedding I went to in December started over an hour late because the free DJ (family friend) didn't show up on time. They had a pizza buffet for food but since they were fresh making the pizzas on a pizza oven trailer in the parking lot they couldn't keep food on the buffet line long enough for everyone to get enough to eat. Coupled with an open bar there was a lot of sick people who over drank and didn't eat enough, puke on the dance floor will stop a party quick. The bar also ran out of ice 2 hours before the end of the reception. The bride also had 3 maids of honor and they each gave a 20 minute speech, soooo boring.

We went to a wedding that I was standing up in. While the food, the decor, the people/ bridal party, and venue were great. The bride and the groom are really into jazz music, which is fine but the band kept taking super long breaks like 20-30 mins and I think there were 3 of them. So the party would start then stop very abruptly. Jazz music isn't my taste or my FH's taste, but to each their own; but it kind of made me feel sleepy. We stayed till the end though because after dinner and the music started a lot of people had left. Plus I was in the wedding so we felt like we should.

1. Drunk staff
2. Guests who over-indulge. Give your bar staff the leeway to cut off when they feel it’s appropriate
3. Guests who want to start drama. I was a guest at a wedding in two years ago where a guest insisted on wearing a certain hat which would incite feelings in others. A groomsman asked him to take it off since it was a formal event but he yelled at the groomsman and said if the bride and groom cared they’d tell him. He picked fights with people all during the reception. Everyone was over it and the bride and groom awkwardly just said, ‘Oh that’s Uncle So-and-So you can’t tell him anything’
4. Constantly bringing up friends or family that have passed on. I understand memorial tables or saying a few words during a toast. One of my sorority sisters lost her best friend at 15. At her wedding she had an extra BM’s bouquet made and placed on a table at the end of the bridesmaid line at the ceremony. During cocktail hour the bride made a toast to her passed on friend. She had some pictures set up on a memorial table with pictures since they grew up with her husband. During the reception they left a chair open for a friend and had a sign made. Instead of a bouquet toss she puts her bouquet in a vase at the empty place setting. She made an announcement during the dancing for an old throwback song saying it was one of her friends favorite songs. It was ... a lot.
5. No alcohol
6. Constantly asking for cash (dollar dance, honeyfund jars on every table, QR codes on all the wedding signs that link to the couple’s Venmo, raffles, “betting” with cash, cash bars, etc)

The one thing I think killed the mood at my wedding was that it was hard to hear speeches because people just would not shut up !

The biggest reception killers I witnessed this past year were:

Family wedding: The bride & groom did a head table, which prevented their wedding party from being able to sit with their spouses & children. They took forever to take pictures, so everyone was getting bored and hangry. They did all 3 of their dances (first dance, mother / son, and father / daughter) immediately after their entrance, and it was for lack of better words boring to sit through. They waited entirely too long to do their cake cutting, which resulted in a lot of left over cake. Their DJ was not great.

Friend wedding: The ceremony started an hour late...so the guests were waiting for roughly 1.5 hours for that. They didn't have any seating in the cocktail hour area, and took a long time to do pictures, so that was another "sit & wait" ordeal. Then they had everyone go into the reception area (very crowded) to stand and wait even longer while the wedding party prepared for their entrance. People were getting SUPER annoyed at that point, and ready to leave...pretty much killed the entire mood for the night. They had a very confusing seating arrangement where tables were split up in several rooms and floors.....so guests had to search everywhere to find their tables. It was just...a lot of waiting and the mom was acting like a momzilla, so it wasn't much fun for anyone.

Our wedding: we did a mock sparkler exit, and most of our guests left because our coordinator forgot to tell them that we weren't actually leaving. So, when we pulled off and turned around and came back in, there weren't many people left. I mean, we still had a good time and hung out with the ones that did stay...but I wished there were more.

In my experience, as long as you have good food, booze, and music....everything should be fun for all. Just don't make everyone wait a lot or sit through too many "formalities."

1. DJ, DJ, DJ, DJ... did I say DJ? Even if you have the most fun group ever, if the DJ is bad the party will stop.

2. The bridal party taking too many pictures after the ceremony. When people have to wait to eat/drink/dance, it kills the day. So I highly suggest taking photos BEFORE the ceremony including family photos.

3. Plan extra time for everything so that you don't get hung up.

4. Ask the bridal party not to drink (or limit to one drink) before the ceremony. At my sister's wedding, one of the groomsmen got too drunk and had to be kicked out of the reception before the toasts!

5. I do disagree with the poster above about talking about those who have passed. Ultimately it depends on the relationship. For my Husband, his grandmother was one of the most important people in the world to him. She helped raise him, and it was so important that she was included. My best friend (and one of my husbands groomsman) died tragically. It was important for people to know in our love story the people who shaped us. I do caution about making it a funeral haha and it does sound as though there was a LOT for the wedding she referenced, but do what is best for you and what your heart feels you need to do. I've been to weddings where they don't mention people and it seemed weird.

6. Having the whole bridal party talk. If it takes 30 min to do speeches, people will get bored.

1. Excessively late dinner start/No food and drink at cocktail hour

2. Not enough/Inedible food.

3. When the couple does too many things during the reception. I had one bride do their grand exit twice because she wanted bubbles AND sparklers! I have also seen first dance, parents/couple dances, dollar dance, dances for couples together for x amount of years, performance dances, multiple speeches, and more. More is not better.

4. Cramped quarters. Yes, there was a "dance floor" but practically no room to move outside of that.

5. Long lines. No one wants to spend a reception like they're at Disney World in the middle of summer vacation. Have multiple bars and if you're doing a buffet, have the DJ call tables up one or two at a time.

6. You already know one of the worst, a bad DJ will kill a mood like nothing else. Also, I personally don't care for break-up or get nasty songs at a wedding. It just feels weird and wrong and makes me not want to get out there.

Thank you everyone for your feedback! I read it all and luckily most of the things mentioned we aren't doing.

Literally we are doing entrance- cutting cake- dinner- speeches- dances- then party after.

I don't really have any extra thrills though. No photo booth just a smore bar.

Youre right that music is everything! One place I went had such bad acoustics and table setup that we, at a table in the next to last row from the band, couldn't hear them at all. That made dinner kind of boring and awkward with only a whisper of music coming over. Then, the DJ came on for the dancing and the speakers were WAY too loud. Make sure to go over the size and layout of the room to your band/DJ if they haven't played there before, and confirm that they are confident they have the right sound equipment for the space. Also confirm a sample of your DJ/band's playlist and make sure that it fits in with your crowd and what will get people to dance. In your invitations or on your website, consider asking for song recommendations - people are sure to have fun when their jam comes on, and may even stay later if they know it's coming up.
Also the bar is a big part of getting people to stay - I've been to several where the bar shuts down an hour or two before the end of the reception. If this is the default on your package, see if you can pay to extend it if feasible, to avoid people leaving early.
Make sure to seat people in a way that makes sense and won't cause unnecessary awkwardness - if you're stressing about it, ask for their input where appropriate. (For example, find out from your in laws if there are any family tensions you should know about; ask your friend if she'd like to be sat next to that guy you think she'd like, or if she'd prefer to sit next to another friend of yours she kind of knows). It's a major pain to make the seating chart but being thoughtful with it goes such a long way! The few times I've been to a wedding where I didn't know anyone, I was seated with random older family members of the bride and there was no reason for me to stay late at the party because I hadn't met anyone to hang out with.
Also make sure you let your close friends, wedding party especially to know how you feel - you can't force them to dance, but any time I saw a lag on the dance floor I would look at my MOH and she immediately dragged a few more BMs out to dance, a strategy which kept the party going all night.
Also know your crowd in terms of which "events" to plan during the dancing. If you have a lot of married friends and relatives attending, or if your parents are looking forward to the "anniversary dance", make that a priority; if you have a lot of single girlfriends that are into the bouquet toss, consider doing that about 3/4 the way through the dancing because chances are they'll stay out on the dance floor afterward! We ditched the garter thing and it worked out great, the girls were having fun and stayed out on the floor after, which led to their dates and others coming out, and everyone stayed on the floor 'til the end.

But the biggest thing is not to put pressure on yourself to throw the biggest banger of the century - it's your wedding and you'll have a million things do see and do and fuss over, just try to enjoy your time and if a few people leave early, it's no big deal - that's just more focus you can put on your new spouse, which I found to be the hardest thing to do - we kept getting pulled away from each other and I wish I would have spent more time with him during the reception!

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S'mores bar will be awesome! That's definitely the sort of unexpected extra that will keep people engaged. In my experience, photo booth is kind of a letdown, nobody is ready for the picture or half the people make faces while half smile, and the silly outfit photos rarely end up as treasured keepsakes; also, it leads to people waiting in a boring line or waiting for their photos to come out, instead of being on the dance floor. Your wedding will be great, don't worry about any more "extra thrills."

Having a good DJ is the biggest thing at a wedding. Are they playing music you want? Are they taking too many/long breaks? Do they sounds like an off brand 60s game show host?

True story: the DJ at a friends' wedding was so creepy! He kept taking breaks in between songs (ones not selected by the couple) to call out "all the ladies on the dance floor" or to "get this party started!" We could if you would just play a dang song! After lunch my group of friends just went and hung out outside.

Another biggie for me is space, but this may be because I'm slightly claustrophobic. Same wedding, they had issues with space. They invited 120 people and all 120 showed up in a space meant for 90-100 guests. I couldn't move my seat unless my fiancé moved first because one of the catering stands was behind me and I didn't want to knock it over.

View Quoted Comment This is a nightmare

1) Seemingly unorganized staff and.or not enough places to sit AND too long a line at the buffet. If you invite upwards of 100 people you need more than one line, or have a DJ/host/whoever direct tables to the buffet.

2) At a wedding at the end of July where there were about nine kids, all under the age of 10, RUNNING all around during the toasts, during everything!! Then when the dancing started they were still monopolizing the floor.

3) Too much (heck in my book) any memorial talk. Look, we have all lost people. But like a poster upthread said, I was a wedding where the chatter about the dead folks was going on and on and ON! A dove release, then poems, then songs, then a toast to them.......I get it.

4) Father/Daughter, Mom/Son, Bride/Groom dances that go on too long. Try to have the DJ cut down the songs, if a song runs for about 3, three and a half minutes, that is a LONG time to sit and watch.

5) Toasts that turn into The Gettysburg Address. Keep it short, people.

6) No alcohol. I will happily open my purse for a glass of wine - it gets people loosened up and ready to dance and socialize!!!

Not assigning tables!! People did not want to get up to dance, because others would steal their chairs. No one complained but it was clear, people were intend on saving seats.