Reception Issue

Is the actual reason those people weren't originally invited to the second thing because you think they’ll be uncomfortable with the dinner and dancing? If so, I would not go through the trouble of arranging two receptions. Extend the invite to everyone and if they don’t want to take part in all activities, they are free to leave the reception whenever. It won’t go over well to ask certain groups of people to leave part way through the reception.

There is no way to do this. It would be incredibly rude to tell some guests they aren't welcome to stay for the full reception. If they aren't comfortable they will leave on their own. You don't uninvitd them or ask them to leave.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree!

Unfortunately you can't. That would be really against etiquette.

Deffo not. Agree with all previous posters here.

Invite them to everything, if they're uncomfortable with drinking and dancing, they will leave! I can't imagine that unless you play some super vulgar lyrics, they would have any issues with drinking and dancing. Or unless you're of a religion that doesn't support alcohol.

But even then, people WILL leave if they're uncomfortable, it's not up to you to make sure your music satisfies all guests.

Not sure if this applies to you . . . In some communities, everyone in the congregation is invited to the Church wedding and stay for cake, light refreshments. As you are no longer having it at the Church and instead in an all-in-one location, those traditions do not have to be followed. Proceed with a standard wedding plan with invited guests only, as per the venue's requirements. Private businesses do not allow open invitations and must have a headcount for fire code.

Unfortunately there is no way to do this without being tacky or rude. BUT if your concerns are the church folks not being comfortable vs. not wanting to invite them, you could let them all know it will be a party with dancing and secular music... they might decide to not stick around if they're not comfortable with that.

This is definitely tricky and I agree with the other comments that this can VERY easily be rude or tacky. I feel for you, as I wish I could do the same thing 😭
From another point of view…
My sister had her wedding at our church - a ton of people came to the ceremony and it was made clear that the reception afterwards was a dessert-only reception that everyone was invited to. That’s where they had their wedding cake, a bunch of pies, cookies, and non-alcoholic refreshments.After some time, the couple had their exit and they and the wedding party left to take pictures. After that the wedding party went back to the church and just the couple went downtown to take more couple pictures. By this point most if not all of the guests who weren’t invited to stay had trickled out, and after a while the couple came back. We had a very very casual dinner at the church for just family, any out of town guests, and anyone who helped with the wedding day. And I honestly don’t remember but perhaps if people lingered after the dessert they were invited to stay too. Dinner was pulled pork sandwiches and there was enough to feed an army so like I said, very casual.They had a dry wedding without dancing so I’m not sure how helpful all this is, but wanted to put another perspective out there in case it helps.I do agree that if you are having everything at one venue now, and want a night of drinks and dancing, it makes it very difficult to not invite everyone…

Is there a related church that would work out for the ceremony with affordable rates? There should be some secondary gathering place while that church building is up for renovation. Where do the people go during that period of time?