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Libby
Beginner October 2021

Reception guest list ettiquette

Libby, on November 1, 2020 at 2:26 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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What do people generally do for inviting guests to the reception/dance and not the ceremony?
My fiance and I have people we'd like to only have attend the party since we're not as close with them anymore, but we'd still appreciate to see them. Do you invite them for the meal? Do you give them the time when the dance starts? Do you have seperate invitations for them? Just send a FB invite for the dance? Is any part of it rude?

I know people will just attend the reception and not the meal. But my fiance feels it's awkward if they don't attend the meal. Which i understand because in my experience I've shown up early to the reception and waited awkwardly till they were done eating to go in.
Anything will help! Thanks!


12 Comments

Latest activity by Anais, on November 2, 2020 at 8:06 PM
  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    I feel this is awkward; like all of it. You definitely have to invite everyone to dinner/reception. I could understand not inviting people to the ceremony due to Covid / capacity / being indoors; however, if you want them to celebrate your union in marriage (reception), but you don’t want them witnessing it (ceremony) - it’s weird.
    Just my two cents! Never heard of this before.
    Best wishes 🤍
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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele ·
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    It is highly rude to invite guests to the reception only. Invite guests to both ceremony and reception or none at all. If you are not close enough to treat them a guest to the same dinner/ceremony, etc as the others, just send announcement. An announcement card is preferable to being invited as a bottom of the barrel guest.


    The reception includes everything as one event: dinner and dancing. You do not tier guests by determining that one group is worthy of dinner and another isn't.
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    This is really only ok if you are having a very small, private ceremony. Immediate family only. Then invite all others to the full reception (dinner and all). If you are inviting more than immediate family to the ceremony and then still a few others just to the reception, yes that is rude. Those people aren’t important enough to witness your ceremony but they are good enough to join the party and bring you a gift. Not cool.
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  • Libby
    Beginner October 2021
    Libby ·
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    I totally hear you guys out! It does sound pretty rude, but I totally thought it was a thing since it's happened to me! (Maybe it's a small town thing?) I haven't been to very many weddings or know all the etiquette so I'm glad i got some point of views. I know I've seen different people attend the dance who was not at the meal/ceremony before also. Could've been lots of different reasons i guess.



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  • Llcool_Kay
    Expert July 2021
    Llcool_Kay ·
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    I don’t think this is rude. Only if done tastefully. I do agree that them not being close enough may nor be a good reason to only invite them to the reception. But I would be flattered to be invited to the reception (because that’s the most expensive part). I would send a separate invitation that says something like “you are invited to the reception of __. And mention that you two will be married in a smaller ceremony”.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    This is incredibly rude. Guests should be invited to the entire event, not just half of it, and surely not the 1/3 of it that you don’t have to pay for.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    If I was only invited to a reception and not the ceremony, I’d be offended. Unless you are having a very small ceremony with just your immediate family and a reception at a later time with more people, it’s rude to only invite people to a certain part of the wedding. Guests should be invited to ceremony & reception or not invited at all.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Do you not have enough space at the ceremony to invite these guests? Also, if you aren’t close with them, it’s totally fine not to invite them at all.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    If was me, I would be offended. I’d be thinking “what ? I’m good enough to be invited to the party but not the ceremony?” Unless, as other people have pointed out, that the ceremony is for family only.
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    In this regard, something to be mindful of is that not all your guests will actually attend both the ceremony and reception so you may have possibly witnessed that happening rather than people being invited to one part of the event and not all.

    I agree with PP in that I think it would be rude to selectively invite some guests to only the reception but not the ceremony. As others have said, either invite this bunch of people to the entire wedding, if you wish to have them present, or, if you don’t feel that close to them, don’t invite them.

    By comparison, think of it like this, if you knew someone was having a birthday party and they told you to come ‘just for cake’ at a later time, you probably would take offense. With a wedding ceremony/reception, same deal applies.

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  • Patricia
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Patricia ·
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    I think the only time it’s not rude to invite someone to the reception and not the ceremony is in the case of a Elopement. If you’re going to leave them off the list for the ceremony, I’d leave them off the list for reception too.
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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    There are cultures where that’s ok (in France we have something called vin d’honneur which is kind of like a cocktail hour where you invite people to celebrate for a bit but they don’t witness the ceremony. This is more for like the couples’ parents’ friends or colleagues).
    I’ve never really heard of that in US weddings so I would feel it’s pretty rude to be invited only for dances.
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