Reception... guest etiquette

I’m sorry this happened to you, that would bother me too.
I don’t think your friend’s behavior was right necessarily (not that she isn’t allowed to leave early) but I think the more important issue here is that your in laws left?! How bizarre.

You have a right to be mad at any and everything but is it really worth it. From what I hear it was a lovely time for you. She at least showed up, which some people cant even say. Did you reach out and see if she is okay? She might have been through something crappy and didn't want to tell you ruining your fun, so she ended low key away from all the people except a few that it wasn't their vibe. Yes it sucks that she and a few missed the exit but it happens and at the end it was a fun time for you guys and not done just as a prop. Plus at least the groom didnt go to lol( happened to a cousin, showed up to the bar to drag him back in full bridal getup, and I as a maid got to see this!)

Was it right, no. Is it totally uncommon, maybe a little, Is it worth to get yourself really worked up over, I don't think so. I'll ask this, would you have been mad if these same guests all left early and not have gone to another bar, but rather just home? Probably not. It was a little disrespectful of the in-laws, but who lost here? Maybe the in-laws, because they will regret not being in the end picture.

It sounds like you had a beautiful wedding and reception with an unexpected ending. Focus on the good parts, not the bad. After all, it is the start of your new life and why bring negativity to that?

I would be more upset that she drove in the condition and potentially endangered other’s lives. She was probably too inebriated to realize she had left before the sparkler exit, and honestly that would be the least of my concerns.

View Quoted Comment “ She had a driver waiting outside for her...”


OP, I understand your frustration, but even if they knew about the grand exit, it’s not common for every guest to stay until the end of the wedding. She didn’t forcibly drag these people out of your reception, they left on their own free will. I would work on moving past this.

Overreacting?!?! Absolutely not! If anything, you are under reacting! You must be a saint because if that happens to me I would’ve called them up and I would’ve let them know exactly the kind of person that they are and then I would call my guests that decided to leave with her and let them know how insulted you feel. That is absolutely awful and I’m sorry that happened.

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Then that’s not nearly as bad! As long as they had a driver.

I get the frustration, but like other PP have said...it’s not uncommon for PP to leave before the grand exit. I would just let it go.

View Quoted Comment I would’ve been much happier if they went home because that would’ve validated why they had to leave. Maybe they were too drunk or too tired. Instead they went to the bar that I work at and
ThenShowed pictures of us in the wedding to everyone

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Sadly that just sounds like bad judgement on everyone's part. - Sorry you're feeling this way.

That sounds upsetting so you've every right to feel that.

but at the end of the day, they also chose to leave with her so if you're going to be mad, it's not just towards her.

If no one knew about the sparkler exit, they may have just thought the reception was winding down and were ready to leave. I understand you are upset things didn't go as you planned, but as others mentioned there may have been something going on with her that you're unaware of, especially if the "spacey" behavior is out of character. Yes, you can be upset, but it's not likely to be productive. You might be better off to chat with her and see what was going on. It seems you could have still taken the photos without those six people.

View Quoted Comment Honestly, this. If no one knew about the sparkler send off and there were 30 minutes left I could see this being a complete accident. She didn't drag these 5 people out at gun point. It's very possible she casually said "I have a car taking me to X bar, looks like things are winding down if anyone wants to join me." Or something similar. A lot of people may be interested in continuing to "party" or just have a few more drinks before calling it a night and had no idea they were missing something.


As others have said, your feelings are yours and they're always valid but you should work on letting this go. Nothing can change the past and a

And all you can do is decide how you're going to move forward.*

View Quoted Comment I think the question here was about etiquette. It sounds like they didn’t even say a proper goodbye to the bride or groom. “She didn’t forcibly drag them out”. Very true, but there’s also a certain way people should know how to act when they attend a wedding and it’s pretty uncommon and a little ignorant to leave in such a manner.

View Quoted Comment Um...no. It’s not “ignorant” to leave a wedding without hunting down the bride(s) and/or groom(s) to tell them goodbye. There’s absolutely no etiquette that dictates that. I would have been frustrated if every one of my 125 guests had to tell me bye before they left.

View Quoted Comment Whether you would be annoyed about people saying Goodbye to you on your wedding day is irrelevant. It’s actually extremely common place to give the Bride and Groom a final goodbye if you’re leaving early to let them know everything was great and to thank them for inviting you. There’s a pretty general understanding of not going to a wedding seemingly screwed up and then treating it like its a night out on the town. I’d have to disagree and say that I really don’t think we need any set of written rules to tell us not to act like we’re at a college party at someone’s wedding.

Sounds like every wedding I went to in the late 70s! Let it go, she was out of it, be glad she had an Uber and let it go.

View Quoted Comment It's not, though. Guests commonly leave without bothering the bride and groom, because it can be just that- a bother. Often the B&G have a lot going on, even without every single guest saying goodbye. It's reported they're often so busy they don't even get to eat their dinners.
If it's a question of etiquette then the answer is still no- she wasn't in the wrong. There's no etiquette stating you must announce your departure.

View Quoted Comment Its pretty common place to say goodbye and to thank the bride and groom. Clearly the bride that posted this was a bit offended by it So it didn’t seem like they were too busy for anyone to at least acknowledge that they were leaving. Yes, the bride and groom are busy talking with their guests. It’s not like they’re filing paperwork. If you’re getting annoyed that your guests are saying goodbye to you that’s a little ridiculous in my opinion and you should have probably eloped. As far as etiquette goes, I just thought it was a general understanding that you don’t show up to a wedding seemingly screwed up and then peace out and take a bunch of drunk people to a bar.

View Quoted Comment And again, I’m not saying every ‘single guest must say goodbye!’ All I’m saying is don’t show up like you’re clearly already half in the bag, then round up a bunch of drunk people and say “let’s ditch this place and go somewhere better.” Would you really be OK with us if it happened at your wedding?? It’s not like they were leaving to go home and didn’t want to bother the bng. They left to go somewhere better which yeah, in my opinion is kind of insulting. That means that they were too bored which is kind of disrespectful seeing as how they had no problems getting a free meal and getting hammered.