Reception for church members then reception for family and friends?

It could work because it’s technically an “after party”, since the meal has been served, cake has been cut and the reception is over. However, it’s probably best that the after party location is nearby. Otherwise, if it’s more than a 5miles, I’d most likely drive home🙃.

I think you’d need to invite family and friends to the church reception as well. Other than that, your plan is a good one,

View Quoted Comment I agree! I think it would be rude to serve a meal to some of your guests, but not all. I personally would have a dry reception then an after party where alcohol is served.

I agree with PP if you're inviting them to the ceremony you need to include them in the meal. You could have the meal, cake cutting, first dances, etc and then after all those are completed have the bar open and proceed with the rest of the celebration. I think one of the biggest issues people would have in not being invited to the meal is the amount of time they would have to wait around before they could partake in festivities again. That also sets up for a lot of people to be drinking on fairly empty stomachs

So what if I were to have the reception at church catered for only the church members then have the reception at the venue catered as well for the family and friends? Many people at my church have volunteered to cater the event at church for us so that would help save on costs.

View Quoted Comment That still leaves a lot of time between ceremony and reception for your non-church people. What are they expected to do while waiting for you to eat with the church people?
I just don’t think you can do two receptions like this. I suppose you could have the second reception the following day. But even that isn’t really very nice for those not invited to the church reception.
Why can the two groups not be at the same reception?

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. There isn't a way to do it without inconveniencing or offending one group or the other.

UPDATE:
The reason we would plan for two receptions is because we cannot afford a venue for 200 guests, also because we would feel uncomfortable drinking and dancing in front of our church members with our young adult friends who do not attend church. We really wanted to throw our reception at church but we cannot involve drinking and dancing at church as it is not approved. So we resulted in having our ceremony at church for church members only with the cake and meal served and catered by members of my church. Then we would go to a venue for drinking and dancing. We can either include all guests at church for the meal but that would be extreme preparation or separate meals and also have the venue catered. We would be saving money by having different receptions for the groups because everything at church would be free. Then only paying for the family and friends at the venue. This might still be confusing!!

So we resulted in having our reception at church*

If you can't afford to properly host all of your guests then you need to cut your guest list. It is rude to serve some a catered meal, but not all. There are also of host safety concerns with non-professionals providing food especially with a pandemic going around.

This is very often done where the church hall group is for church members, and the private reception is for your invited personal guests. But after an initial greeting to the congregation, the couple or parents do not stay for the collation. And that is in the nature of cake and punch, or light sandwiches and finger foods, then cake. So really refreshments for the congregation, not a full meal or reception. And you go to the reception of invited guests.


Two complete receptions, with you at both, No. Talk to your minister about how it is usually done. Though you graciously provide the cake or the food, you turn it over to some group belonging to the church, and they serve the refreshments. So one is a church refreshments after a service. The reception, private and for those sent invitations, and where the couple and families go, is the wedding continuation.

This is all very confusing. What do you expect your family and friends to do while you celebrate with the church people with the cake and meal? Just wait around? I'm not sure I understand your plan correctly

View Quoted Comment

You still need to feed your family and friends - it’s super rude not to. I’d do it slightly differently, I would have light refreshments after the ceremony in your church hall, with all your guests, then move on to the actual reception, with meal, with family and friends. Telling half your guests they can’t come to the church reception, and have to go find something to do for several hours, is rude in the extreme. If I got an invitation like that I’d either decline, or not bother coming to the ceremony.