We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

Elizabeth
Savvy August 2021

Reception faux pas - yes or no?

Elizabeth, on January 14, 2021 at 4:59 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 71
Saved Save
Reply
So someone I know thinks this is ok and planning on doing it at her wedding. Would you be offended? Im trying to get some perspective. It just comes off as REALLY rude to me. Is this a thing ladies? Is this acceptable this day and age? Idk why buy everyone dinner but not eat with them and go eat in a whole different room?! So much for a thank you. Can’t be bothered to eat with all these people you invited but happy to take their gifts and money. I don’t think I would go to this wedding if this is how they plan to act. Would you?
Reception faux pas - yes or no? 1


71 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on February 9, 2021 at 10:17 AM
  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated September 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    I've heard of people doing this in between the ceremony and reception, just to give the bride and groom a small break, but I've never heard of someone doing this DURING the reception. This does seem very rude to me. I would probably still go to the wedding, but I probably wouldn't spend as much on a gift. Just my personal opinion...

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    This is rude and just weird. We had a sweetheart table for the reasons they mentioned, but it was in the room with everyone else, and people for the most part let us sit and eat when we were eating. Then we visited with them at tables and such.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Devoted May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    Hmmm this is sort of tricky. They should just have a sweetheart table— they’ll get to eat together but not be rude and isolated from their guests. Although I probably wouldn’t care if the bride and groom disappeared during dinner—I’d honestly probably figure they’re taking pictures or something.


    It was really important to my now-husband that we have a moment to ourselves as well. As our guests were being lead to cocktail hour, the event coordinator brought us back to the “holding house” where we had waited with our bridal party and we spent probably 7-10 minutes talking about the ceremony and how our mornings apart had gone. Then along the way walking to the cocktail hour, we stopped at the pool bar (we got married at a resort) and took a shot of jagermeister. So with both of those, we were “missing” from our cocktail hour-and-a-half about 15 minutes? When we arrived people were still getting food and drinks from our station and bar. Everyone clapped upon our arrival and there were no comments or snide looks (and we certainly have friends or family who would not be shy about telling us their feelings!) about our absence.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think that’s all ok—— but literally having dinner at the same time as your guests in an entirely different room I think would be rude yes?
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    In this case, a sweetheart table seems like the most logical thing to do. Having some time alone between the ceremony and reception during cocktail hour is common, but leaving to eat dinner in a room alone during the reception itself is not appropriate in my opinion.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    No, I don’t think it’s rude since couples rarely get to eat in peace because they’re constantly interrupted by guests who want to chat or take a picture, etc. So I think it’s perfectly fine for a couple to take a mere 20 minutes to spend alone together during their wedding to decompress. I actually don’t think it’s much different than couples not being around for an hour (or more) during cocktail hour when they’re taking pictures. Or when a couple steals away for a few minutes with the photographer to take sunset photos. Honestly, while everyone’s eating and mingling at their tables, they probably won’t even notice (or care) that the couple is gone for a few minutes.


    Also, I actually don’t see why people would leave at that point since there are a number of activities that happen after dinner. So I was a little confused by what was written in the picture you posted
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    .... additionally, the couple is the first to get served. So since dinner service takes a while, the couple would probably be back in the room by the time everyone else is just beginning to eat.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Sexy poodle this couple wants to have dinner on their own separate from guests entirely..
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    That is extremely rude but there will always be someone who sees nothing wrong with it. Why invite guests if you're going treat them as not even human or worthy of your time?
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Personally I think it’s rude and I just don’t get why people want to do this. Yes, it sometimes is nice to have a minute with your new spouse, but you’re also hosting a party. Do they leave parties they’re hosting in their home for 20 minutes? Probably not.
    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    Super April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    This is my opinion it's not only rude but weird

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Correct… That’s how I read it. They want to spend 20 minutes to eat and come back.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes. If you wouldn't do something at a party in your home, it's not ok at a wedding venue.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Devoted May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This seems a bit extreme. I don’t understand how eating dinner separately is not treating guests human.


    Like SexyPoodle said, I’m struggling to separate this from couples who take the whole cocktail hour away from their guests to take pictures. That’s leaving them alone to eat and drink too. It’s 20 minutes of presumably a 5+ hour event. That doesn’t compare to hosting people in your home.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    @Tone— I’m rude? I’m sorry but if I’m hosting a thank you dinner for my closest family and friends for celebrating MY marriage —- shouldn’t I be present at said dinner?
    • Reply
  • Liz
    Devoted June 2021
    Liz ·
    • Flag
    Geez, You got the rest of your life to eat dinner together alone. How often will you be able to eat and spend time with all the people who just joined you for your wedding. Not for me!
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Kylie, Cocktail hour is specifically made for that. No? So not only are they missing cocktail hour but they are skipping out on dinner with their guests, arriving to dance and cut cake and collect gifts/money then leave. ? I’m sorry I’m trying to understand different perspectives here but this is what I’m understanding is ok these days from your point of view?
    • Reply
  • Tone
    Devoted July 2021
    Tone ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Its their wedding they can do what makes them happy if you don’t like it no one is forcing you to go
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Liz- that’s what I was thinking.. there will be plenty of time to capture alone no?
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    @Tone - you’re right about that. What’s the point of going to a dinner when then people we are honoring can’t even grace us with their presence during the most important part of the evening?! Thanks for your input !
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics