Just Said Yes July 2019

Recently Engaged Bridesmaid

Lauren, on May 27, 2019 at 12:53 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
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One of my bridesmaids has gotten engaged a few months ago and I’m so extremely happy for her. I’ve been helping her figure out a timeline and she’s also asked my advice on things which I was more than happy to do. She set her wedding date for May 2021 (I will be a bridesmaid) and my wedding is July 20, 2019 (less than 2 months from now).

I’m noticing as my wedding date is approaching, the more uninterested she is becoming. She still has not gotten her dress yet but she has been hounding me to get my bridesmaid dress for her wedding...in 2021. I need to have a talk with her but unsure how to approach this without making her future wedding seem like it’s unimportant.


  • Jessica
    Dedicated August 2019
    Jessica ·
    I think she may just be very excited about getting engaged that that’s all she can think about at this moment. But I totally agree that you need to have a serious conversation with her because right now it’s YOUR wedding happening THIS year. And she needs to be more focused on that right now and be there for you.
  • A
    Super September 2019
    Anna ·
    She’s probably super excited and overwhelmed with all the decisions she has to make for her own wedding! Plus I’m sure all her family and friends aren’t helping and are taking up a bunch of her time.

    i would make time to hang out with her or call her and remind her she needs to get her dress and anything else she may not have.
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·

    I wouldn't say anything about her being uninterested. You will come off as being selfish and not genuinely happy for her. Just tell her you've been busy getting everything done for you wedding and after your day, you will be very happy and free to get your dress. And remind her to get her dress asap.

  • E
    Savvy January 2020
    Elizabeth ·

    Can the two of you go bridesmaid's dress shopping together? You get your dress for her wedding and she gets her dress for yours...

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·

    You're correct, you really don't need to buy a bridesmaid dress now. Your pal is clearly hyped for her own wedding, which is normal. However, I feel she's being a tad inconsiderate. Don't let her dull your own special day, though

  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
    I would tell her you’ll go look for dresses for her wedding just as soon as she has her dress in hand and altered for YOUR wedding. Maybe that will send her a message haha
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith Online ·
    Explain that dresses for bridesmaids are bought in the last 4-5 months before a wedding, so they still fit at wedding time. Which means, she needs to buy hers now. And you will buy the one for her wedding 4-5 months before her wedding, no sooner! Her being less focused is probably not an intentional thing, just excitement over first being engaged. Tell her when her FI sees her in the bridesmaids dress for your wedding, he will get all excited about how beautiful their coming wedding will be. Then hustle her out dress shopping.
  • Futuremrsv
    Super October 2020
    Futuremrsv ·
    You should tell her you know shes excited for her wedding, but your wedding will be here soon?
    Maybe say you can go look at bridesmaids dresses together to help push her to buy hers
    If her wedding isnt untill 2021 that seems sooo early to buy a bridesmaid dress
  • Ashley
    Devoted October 2020
    Ashley ·
    I’m sure it will calm down. I got engaged only a few months after one of my friends, and I’m a bridesmaid. I’m actually in 3 weddings this year, attending a 4th, and two of my brides are now prego. It’s all about balance and priorities. I booked ALL my vendors only a few months after I got engaged, so now all I have to do is survive 2019. 😂😂

    I will say my biggest mistake was not getting organized with events earlier. It got to the point where I just kept repeating “wait, when’s that again,” that I knew my days were numbered 😂 But now I have a countdown app, and life is kinda ok. So far lol

    Recently Engaged Bridesmaid 1
  • Aida
    Devoted May 2020
    Aida ·

    She's probably super excited about her engagement too. I mean remember how you were/are. But yeah I agree, she needs to still focus on your wedding since yours is before hers.

  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·

    I can see that it feels like she is more interested in planning her own wedding but she really needs not forget that she also has duties as your bridesmaid. the good thing about being engaged at the same time is you can bounce ideas off one another and help each other plan and it'd be even more applicable and helpful knowing that you're both going through the same thing

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