Recently divorce parents

Parents just had their divorced finalized in August

I am getting married August 31 2018

Dad has a new girlfriend which is my moms high school friend which has her so upset

I don't know how to handle the situation

Because my mom has mental illness and this whole thing is messed up

my dad wants to bring his new girlfriend

my mom doesn't want her there

I don't care either way

my moms been acting very mean about my wedding such as making comments like no one listens to me that's too expensive and she isn't paying for any of it

help!

Ok, I did my part, made it legible.

Also, in nine months, feathers could be unruffled a bit.

Your mom is going through a lot and seeing you getting married is bringing a lot of that home for her. Bear with her as well as you can and in a way you would want to be treated.

Your dad is going to bring the girlfriend most likely. Gently remind your mom that it's the way it is and she is most welcome to bring someone as well. Lots of hugs help too.

My FH and I are going through the same thing. His parents just got divorced and his mom is not handling what she is going though well. We invited her to look at a wedding venue and the women who owned the property was talking to my mom about how they love September and how it is such a good month to get married. The women brought up her wedding anniversary and so did my mom. My FH mom got all upset ad huffed and puffed. She made the whole tour very awkward and between my mom, FH and I were all embarrassed by the way she was acting.

So now what we do is we just do not include in wedding planning anymore. It has made life easier and less stressful.

I just wanted to add as a side note the my mom and I are going through the whole wedding planning without my dad. He passed away last December, almost a year ago. So it is a struggle on both sides. The difference my mom and I understand that life goes on and this is a happy moment we need to enjoy!

The new girlfriend is my moms friend been friends since 15

Jackie, use correct sentence structure and punctuation. Quite worrying about this. Your wedding is 9 months away. Who knows who your father will be dating by the time invitations go out. Stop sharing wedding plans with your mom. If she doesn't know about it, she can't complain about it.

Welcome for the edit, btw.

And honey, your mom won't care if the new girlfriend is her sister or the man on the moon--she is hurt, betrayed, angry and wondering what she did wrong.

If she says something about your dad, remind her that he is, in fact, your dad and part of that was her doing and choice and you love them both and are sorry how things turned out.

Be kind to your mom, she is going through some tough stuff right now. Maybe tone down the wedding talk and try to do fun things with her to distract her - I am sure she will be there for you the day of. I agree with PP, hold off making guest list decisions now and let it play out a bit. Tell people you just haven't confirmed your list yet...

Was your dad having a relationship with this woman while he was still married? If yes, no, the other woman does not have to be invited.

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's very hard to be in your shoes right now. However, chances are your dad will not still be dating this woman 9 months from now. And anything can happen in that time. Worry about it when invitations go out, not now. And be extra sweet to your mom, even if she's making it difficult. Focus on non-wedding related activities with her for the moment.

That happened while dress shopping .. no there relationship started 3 months after my mom filed for divorce.

I am kind to my mom but she always wants to talk about them and their relationship and she don't want her grandkids around that women but worse language than that.

Its always hard with divorced parents but your mom needs to understand this is your day and she needs to put her differences aside for one day. I am having similar issues with mine and that is what I tell my family

"Mom, as your daughter, I am not the appropriate person to discuss your marriage and divorce with. Please consider counseling. Your grandchildren's activities are governed by their parents, just as ours was by you and dad. I love you and want to see you happy. I also want to enjoy my wedding and planning it. We can do it, just please try."

I completely understand what you're going through! My parents got divorced just as I started planning my wedding. I took my mom to visit the venue and she started crying mainly because her marriage has just ended and mine is about to begin. The rest of the tour she was pretty quiet since I guess she didn't want to ruin it for me but I know that fact that I'm getting married is weighing heavy on her... My solution was to give neither of them a plus one and just invite their sides of the family.