Reasons to have a dry reception? What to do if somebody brings alcohol?

Kick them out

Idk about how I would handle it, but I absolutely think you have a valid reason. I have a lot of alcoholics in my family too. As a guest, I might be disappointed if I showed up and found that it was a dry event, but if people know ahead of time and understand how adamantly against it you are, I think they’ll respect that.

Is it normal where you live for guests to show up with alcohol?

I would never expect that to happen in my social circle.

100% do NOT tolerate it. If a grown adult can not abide by rules for 1 night then they need to leave. I am sorry for what you've been through and wish you the best on your special day!

Can you let your venue know to watch out and just politely tell a guest if they brought it. I can’t imagine sneaking alcohol into a wedding knowing a background story like yours. I would find that incredibly rude in their part.

I'm just about 100% against dry receptions, just for the simple fact that you shouldn't punish all of your guests because a few of them can't handle their liquor. That being said, I think that you have a very valid reason seeing as how you have experienced trauma related to alcohol. Your mental health is more important than people being able to have a few drinks at your wedding. I would make it very clear that the reception is alcohol free, perhaps post it in your website. If it's in the budget, hire security.

First thing I'd do is make sure you get the word out that it's a dry reception (web site, Facebook page, however you're communicating updates for your guests. Notify all staff at your reception venue if any flasks or alcohol are spotted to discreetly ask the guest to abstain by request of the bride and groom, if they still persist, have them escorted out and refused re entry. You can also make sure FH gets the word out that it is a dry reception. I would think (& hope) that would be enough.

Whatever you want, it's your day! And I think for the inlaw situation, your FH should bring that to their attention and let them know the reason behind it! I personally dont think there is anything wrong with a dry wedding! And same goes for if you had a cash bar. You guys are paying for people to eat, dance, and socialize... if someone can't enjoy that without alcohol then they can leave! Good luck OP!

Yes make sure that everyone you have contact with knows and understands absolutely no alcohol is permitted. Have your husband's tell any friends he has invited that you do not have direct contact the same. If someone shows up with alcohol after being told no alcohol tell them again that this is a alcohol free event an them ask them to either put it in their car or leave.

Thank you all 💖 the reception is at his parent's house as they have a large plot of land which is why I worry it would be easy for people who do not know the trauma alcohol has caused to sneak it in. Our personal social circle, we know will respect us and our choices. We are worried his mothers social circle will not because they all like to drink. My FH has stressed to his mom it is drug and alcohol free and we are hoping she extends the word to her friends. I posted it in the Facebook page but its definitely a great idea to post it on the website, Disneysue (love the name btw!).

Again thank you all! I appreciate you guys taking the time to comment

As a follow up, her friends are in the facebook group, so we are assuming they have seen our message about no drugs or alcohol!

View Quoted Comment Thank you 😊 I worked at Disneyland in college.
Sounds like you've got your bases covered. Try to relax and enjoy the planning. I'm sure its going to be fine.

There is nothing you can do if someone brings in a flask or goes out to the parking lot for a drink. I would not stress about it. I am sure that 99% of your guests will abide by your wishes, but stressing about the 1% that might want to have a drink at your wedding, it's just wasted energy. You made your wishes knows, hope that everyone abides by them, and carry on with your wonderful day!

Alcohol will be brought by some. You can't frisk your guests.

That being said, I think if you are going to have a short morning /early afternoon reception, I think that might deter some folks as those types of receptions don;t really lend themselves to heavy drinking.

If you are looking at having an evening "party atmosphere" reception (DJ or band), Friday or Saturday night etc most people will want to have at least one or two adult beverages. I almost never drink (aside from some champagne, I didn't have anything to drink at my own) but I will absolutely have a drink or two at a wedding if I am a guest.

I understand your reasoning behind your stance on alcohol, but if you want your wedding reception to be all about you, you can't invite any guests. The ceremony is for you and your H. The reception is for your guests.

Thank you guys for your input. The reception is 12pm to 5pm so hopefully that's a bit early for drinking.

I would ask the venue manager or coordinator to handle it, we are serving alcohol at our wedding but if someone brings it, they shut down our bar so it's a huge deal if someone sneaks it in.

View Quoted Comment

I think between word of mouth and your wedding website you should be fine. Can you ask your FMIL to please spread the word that it is extremely important to you as a couple to respect those wishes? Since you are having it at a house you can't really take the suggestion of venue security. I guess you could hire security but I doubt you would need it.

I don't care if it is an morning, afternoon, or evening reception the people being invited to your wedding should love you and care about you enough to respect your wishes! That would be a pretty classless move on their part if they snuck it in.

Just designate someone to ask them to leave or hire security. However I do have to say I would just drink before, if alcohol wasn’t allowed.

View Quoted Comment

That's exactly what I'm saying. I don't understand how somebody can not refrain from drinking for five hours! I don't see why people think all and every wedding reception is a huge party and lack the decency to respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I get that it's a thing for the guests, but if the bride and groom are requesting a dry wedding reception, and somebody can't handle that, I'd rather they not come than drink before. I truly don't mean to come off as rude or judgmental because I am not against people drinking responsibly in their personal lives but it's a bit shocking to me how intensely people feel about dry weddings.

I don't think we will hire security since like you said it is at a house, and I think we will be able to manage if somebody does sneak it in.

Thank you all for your responses!

Hire security? Since it is not a venue, I think people will be more inclined to bring booze. 'oh just gonna bring a few bottles to Mary and Joe's wedding at Joe's parents house'. Seem super easy for this to happen. Hire someone.