Really just need to vent should of eloped sorry its long

I think that when you're having issues with basically all of your bridal party, you need to take some time to reflect on your own actions. Are all of these women handling this the wrong way, or are you? What did you really need from your MOH this far in advance? Was "demoting" her really worth losing your friendship? Your wedding is still 9 months away. I would stop pressuring your friends to come to meetings, attend appointments, etc. for a while. They don't need to meet and get to know each other. If your one bridesmaid can't make it to a dress appointment, it's not the end of the world. Choose a dress and tell her which one it is. That's it.

First I'll just say that you definitely have a dramatic bunch. But what I don't understand is what your original MOH wasn't "participating" in and why that was grounds to demote her? That just sounds super rude and I can honestly understand her getting upset, especially considering you texted it to her. It sounds to me like you ruined your friendship with her by treating her like a prop in your wedding.

I think you need to understand that your wedding is not the number one priority to anyone but you and your FH. Everyone else in your wedding party has their own lives. They aren't required to do any more than stand next to you on your wedding day like you asked of them, anything more is just a plus of them being a good friend/family member.

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100% this. If you're having this much drama with EVERYONE you might want to take an inventory of your actions...

This is why I am sooo happy that I’m not having a bridal party. I’m sorry for the stress.

I have to agree with PP's. Think about times you were in weddings and trying to be there for the bride/groom but also having your own life to worry about. I have 6 girls and the only drama was when one had a previously scheduled vacation the only date the venue was available. She told me not to schedule the wedding around her, I allowed her to bow out gracefully (knowing the consequences of choosing that date ahead of time), and we moved on. No hurt feelings. I know we all want everyone to be at everything but it's just not always possible. It doesn't mean they don't want to be there and now your FH and his family are involved, These are your friends not your servants. You have to treat them that way.

View Quoted Comment I apperciate the feedback. To answer your question. My first moh had come to the first appoitment for the girls to try on dresses and get a idea of what they like. She was on her phone the whole time and did not try on anything or even look at any of the dresses. She seemed fine before we left and was so excited. Honestly i am at paritial fault for her dropping out. However the reason we dont talk is because she said some really messed up things.

I'm just wondering what your original MOH had to be there for that was so important her absence caused you to make a friendship ending move. Some people can bring the drama, some do not have their hearts in the right place, but I have to agree with Caytlyn that if all of them are "causing drama" it seems like the common denominator is you. Your wedding is the center of your universe now, but it will never be to everyone else. All your wedding party is required to do is wear the chosen attire and show up on the day.

I apperciate the feedback. To answer your question. My first moh had come to the first appoitment for the girls to try on dresses and get a idea of what they like. She was on her phone the whole time and did not try on anything or even look at any of the dresses. She seemed fine before we left and was so excited. Honestly i am at paritial fault for her dropping out. However the reason we dont talk is because she said some really messed up stuff. The last bridesmaid that dropped out was a total surprise and had nothing to do with me. So did I cause some of the drama yes in the start I will own up to that. But i have backed off and just recently started making appoitments again.

Your bridesmaids have no obligations other than to buy the dress and be there on the wedding day. I think you are both at fault for things going wrong. I'd leave your bridesmaids alone. Let them live their lives, your wedding is not their priority. They don't need to all go together to try on dresses. Tell them which dress you want, or give them a few to choose from and let them go try them on alone when its easiest for them. This isn't a Hallmark movie, they don't need to be at your service all of the time. I'd back off and go about wedding planning without worrying about them.

View Quoted Comment There not on my service. Its not even like that at all. But thanks for the feedback.

Again thank you everyone for the feedback. I will take in to account what you are all saying. I apperciate your honesty and will for sure re evaluate myself.

Wedding parties truly don't need to spend time together prior to the wedding, and they can be absolutely awesome. I'm sharing the following just for a different perspective from the "my wedding party needs to meet/shop/spend time together and with me" frame of mind:

Daughter had five dear friends as her 3 BM/2 MOHs. They live in 5 different states -- two on the East Coast, two in the Midwest, one of them 5 minutes from our home, none of them near another. Two of them knew each other and daughter since preschool, and two of them knew each other vaguely from when they were each friends with daughter in HS, but part of different friend groups. They were the most wonderful, supportive bridal party daughter could have imagined, and you know what? They never all met ONCE before the rehearsal.... The ONLY thing they all had in common was their love of daughter. Daughter picked the dress on Azazie and sent them the link and info. They each ordered it and got it altered on their own. The maid of honor was able to fly cross country to be here a few months before the wedding, so we scheduled the shower around her; only she and the one BM who lives locally were able to attend (the others sent very sweet letters for daughter to read at the shower about what her friendship meant to them...she cried with each one). Another BM was home for Christmas with her family and put together a very simple little bachelorette gathering one evening about a month before the wedding -- snacks and games at daughter's apartment and visiting some local bars, with the hosting BM and some local non-wedding party girlfriends. Daughter had a blast and appreciated it so much.

No, daughter did not have the TV/movie BM experience of she and her "tribe" or whatever together on multiple shopping trips/social occasions/etc. But, she had five wonderful women who have been important to her throughout her life surrounding her during the 48 hours or so leading up to her wedding. All five and their SOs were at the rehearsal & dinner, and then again starting about two hours before the ceremony began. Three of them were able to spend the night with her after the RD, and they giggled like they did in middle school (even though one of them had never met the other two before that night). Those three were able to attend a nail appointment the next morning with us, but the other two couldn't go because of work/childcare responsibilities. And that was FINE! The morning of the wedding, four of the five chose to meet and do their hair and make-up together; one couldn't because she had to take care of her kids, but she arrived ready to go at the venue 2 hours before the ceremony for photos. After the wedding, daughter received over 1100 professional photos and 6-hours of video, and EVERY TIME her wedding party members were in a single shot or frame, they were laughing and clearly having fun with her and each other! Daughter's wedding was filled with love and happiness -- with NO DRAMA. But, she had no expectations other than that her "girls," who had been her dearest friends throughout her life, would stand with her at the wedding in a dress she asked them to wear. They each did much more, especially in terms of continuing their strong friendships with daughter, even though they never met during the months leading up to the wedding. Expectations can have a huge influence on how things play out. Good luck!

Yikes ... i hope that things go smoothly for you from now til your wedding. but i hope you also realize this shows some people's true colors. perhaps later down the line you can resolve things with them.

So firstly I’m sorry that you’re experiencing so much drama and it’s spiking your anxiety. I can relate. However, when you throw friends out of your bridal party, you need to be prepared for that to end friendships and cause drama. The two girls havingn an issue between themselves is out of your control, and is frankly very childish of them to drop out of the wedding due to it. Before you kicked any bridesmaids out you should have addressed your concerns with them, or at least made sure that you were still being a friend and not just a bride. Sometimes we are so focused on the wedding we forget to do this. It’s also important to remember that while your life may be revolving around your wedding, no one else’s is. You can’t expect anyone to do anything for your wedding but yourself, because at the end of the day, it’s you and FS’s day.

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I agree with this!

Your expectations of your wedding party are waaaaaay too high and unrealistic. You're ruining relationships left and right for no good reason. There is nothing that your bridesmaids or MOH need to do now for a wedding that's 9 months away. They shouldn't have required activities or expected amounts of participation or be guilted for not being able to make get togethers. You really need to reevaluate your priorities and expectations.

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You kicked her out of the role of MOH. Of course you bear some of the blame for her decision to drop out of the wedding altogether.