Really Creepy Thing Happened to My Fiance

I always google a doctor whenever I’m seeing someone new so that’s not surprising, but I would never bring up personal information about them to them so that’s pretty ballsy. FH has some co-workers who are super nosy so we don’t have a website. It’s just easier not to than to deal with the backlash of not inviting everyone is his 30+ person office.

I agree that I always look up doctors before I go to them. It’s just weird to me that he’d bring it up!

I’m a nurse and I look up my doctors and doctors for my kids. I’ve also looked up doctors I’ve worked with ahead of time. I like to see reviews on how they care for their patients, their bedside manner and that they will be a good fit for us.

That being said, this patient took it a step further, probably because it came up in one of the first few search results. Even though it is creepy, it probably helped the patient feel comfortable and build a rapport with his doctor ahead of time. Some patients are truly terrified about having to see a doctor and putting a face to the name and making that person seem as human as possible helps a lot.

He was probably so nervous when he saw your FH that he had verbal diarrhea!

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Yeah I do as well, I guess it just takes me aback that the guy felt like he was comfortable sharing that he stalked our website. (there's nothing bad on there, but it still feels weird).

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Yeah! It's one thing to come across it--it's another thing to act like you know everything that's personal about the person.

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I look up doctors too, so I totally get that! It really did seem to be creepy especially because this guy was another doctor in the practice's patient (she just had a baby) and he was literally just seeing my FH once while she was out. He wasn't selecting him as his new doctor or anything like that. Also it definitely wasn't nerves. According to my FH it was super aggressive and cocky like he wanted to have control and the upper hand by knowing all this stuff about him, which signals that guy has some issues!

View Quoted Comment You're so right! Who actually tells someone they were creeping in them online? This person does not have a filter.

That is kind of creepy actually. Not so much creepy in the sense that he found it and looked at it because let's be honest everyone social media creeps or stalks now a days but it just sounds creepy because it's being said aloud

This is definitely super weird, but, honestly, even if this didn't happen I'd make your website private and send your guests the info (link, password), etc. (You can include it with your invitations, if the guests don't need it before then.) This might have been one particularly weird/scary example, but especially if you and your FH have professional careers, I'd limit who has access to any personal information, including online/social media/etc. I'm a firm believer there should be strong boundaries around anything to do with our personal lives -- even if it's positive, and stuff on the internet is there FOREVER (even if you think it's not). It's one thing for a potential patient to read a brief bio on the medical group's website, it's another to be stalking a provider's personal/private info.

I don't think googling a doctor is a huge deal, that's pretty normal. But the commenting on photos is weird. I'd just make stuff private.

I second PPs. I was working at a law office at the time of my wedding, so I definitely wanted as little searchable information as possible about me online. I password protected the wedding website (which also wasn't searchable by last name). I added the password to both (I think) the save the dates and invitations. It's good to be cautious, you just don't know how people will use (or surprise you with) information online. I've also seen people on WW talking about friends/coworkers they weren't going to be inviting to the wedding finding the site/registry, buying gifts, etc., which is awkward.

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Right? I'm glad this isn't his regular patient for sure! haha

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I agree, I think it's one thing to creep and another to act like you personally know someone who is a stranger. I don't even think it would have been weird if he had just said "oh I saw you are getting married" to go into that level of detail is creepy to me haha

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I have a lot of family that struggle with accessing the internet so I'm making it as easy as possible for them to locate the information they need, so like I mentioned in my post, I don't feel it's necessary to make the website private, I did think that guy was a bit invasive though and wanted to share!

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It was super weird! I think it was a one-off situation (not his regular patient-he was seeing him for a doctor on maternity leave) so I'm not going to change stuff at this point, but yeah it definitely makes you feel creeped out!

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Yeah while we don't post with alcohol or anything like that, we don't really have a problem with photos being online of our life together. We won't be password protecting our website like I said in my post for a myriad of reasons, so I guess we'll have to deal with the occasional person being creepy haha. We're inviting all our friends and family and coworkers (huge wedding) so I don't see an issue with uninvited guests. My family struggles with technology, so I'm making it as easy as possible for them to access the website. Also we're doing paper rsvps only. That being said, it was a bit off-putting that the guy seemed to think he knew him, when they met!

Lol maybe your fiance needs to reconsider how much info is available publicly? I mean I understand it seems creepy but the info was available somehow so one can't be taken too aback if someone mentions it. I think maintaining privacy inherently sets boundaries which is really important for a professional to set anyway.

I have looked up professionals simply to read about their competence and people's experience with them but I wouldn't go snooping beyond that.

If you're really worried about people creeping on your website, you can add a password to it and then share that pw with your family, friends, guests so they can access it.

Not to that point, but not long ago I was at the grocery store checking out and the woman next to me says "Hi Laura!! how's it going" I must have looked scared because she said "i'm sorry i'm Annie from the Facebook group" it was nice to be recognized but weird

That is sooo odd! Even if he saw that, he should’ve kept it to himself.

We did not have a wedding website because I didn’t want strangers or uninvited people seeing anything.