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Master October 2020

Realizations

Mandi, on August 4, 2019 at 2:56 PM Posted in Planning 0 14

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This wedding got way too big, way too fast. Anybody else?
When we were planning, I thought 250 people cap on our guest list would be fine. Then we put the thing together and got 300. We've made some cuts, but we're still not there.
But also HOW DID I NOT REALIZE 250 PEOPLE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE!?! Granted we are having super close family and friends only invited to this shindig. So maybe that's what clouted my judgement.

Don't get me wrong. But I'm definitely doubting some of the choices we've made.
1) Should have eloped.
2) Should have had a destination wedding.
3) Maybe if we had been more realistic with our budget to begin with, we could have been picked for Disney Fairytale Weddings.
4) Why did we pick a Saturday in March when 95% of our guest list is local? It's March. No one will have anything better to do, and the post-Christmas hibernation will be ending, and late-winter stir crazy will be happening.

Ahhhhhh!

Anyone else feel like their wedding just blew up too fast?

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Tara, on August 5, 2019 at 11:12 AM

Master September 2020
Jessica · on August 4, 2019 at 3:52 PM
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I would be super stressed with 200-300 guests, but I can see how large families make the guest list add up quickly. We decided not to invite cousins because it would easily triple our number. Initially FH and I were talking about 30-35 guests and we were at 60 when we put together the must-have list, which became 65 and now FH just told me to add three more he forgot and a plus one!
I had no idea how expensive things were before I started researching, so our budget has had to evolve a little and I’ve had to find creative solutions. Ive already thought a couple times we should just elope, and we could being a year out but my family would be heart broken! Try not to focus on things you could have done different, it’ll just stress you out more!
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Dedicated October 2026
Ashley · on August 4, 2019 at 3:53 PM
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When Fh and I started planning we had a guest list of 150. It took us two years to decide to cut the guest list so we can actually afford it. We have 25 people now including us. And honestly I'm relieved
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Devoted September 2021
Rebecca · on August 4, 2019 at 4:01 PM
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My FH and I came up with a list of 120 people. The list my mom gave me is over 200, not including FH’s family. I haven’t met half the people my mother thinks she needs to invite. I’ve sat down a few times with my mom and we’re much closer to the 130 mark now, but it definitely gets out of control fairly quickly!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 4, 2019 at 4:21 PM
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I can relate! FH and I started out wanting a courthouse wedding. That changed to a small church wedding, which then became the large church wedding we're planning now.
Sometimes I wish we had stuck to the courthouse
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on August 4, 2019 at 4:27 PM
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When we initially wrote out a guest list we had over 200 people on it. We both have large extended families that we’re really close to. The truth though? I’m not close enough to all those people to be willing to take them to dinner and pay over $100pp for them at said dinner. So we cut our list. It meant some cousins made the cut, while others didn’t. It meant friends made the cut, but co-workers FH goes out for drinks with but doesn’t see socially outside of that didn’t make the cut. It meant the friend who used to be part of the “group” but we haven’t heard from in 2+ years didn’t make the cut. We weren’t willing to budge on the venue and we probably could have tripled our allotted budget if we left the guest list where it was.
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on August 4, 2019 at 5:40 PM
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There is no way 250 people can be "super close family and friends." As to family, for example, you could choose to have immediate family only. Even if each of you comes from a family with a dozen children, and all of them are married, that's 50 people (counting yourselves and the two sets of parents). No one has 200 friends they are super close to.
So, you can choose to have a wedding with that many people. But it's a choice, not something forced on you.
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on August 4, 2019 at 6:02 PM
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Oh man. Idk if I like anyone enough to pay $100 pp!
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on August 4, 2019 at 6:04 PM
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Ha. Well I'm glad you've got it all figured out.
We specifically chose to only include people we've known for 10+ years and speak to on a monthly basis.
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Dedicated June 2020
Glacier · on August 4, 2019 at 9:44 PM
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Our venue will hold 250 if we want to include a dance floor. We decided that each of us will get to invite 125 people (including the wedding party). Needless to say we both are over the 125 with others asking to be a part of our special day. We both have large families, together we have two church families, friends and coworkers. We made sure that if the people we are planning to invite are married or single but we know their SO, then the invitation will be extended to the spouse and SO. We are still in the process of making cuts and it’s difficult. I’m actually praying for some people that we plan to invite to say no, 🤷🏽‍♀️
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on August 4, 2019 at 9:48 PM
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Agreed. We know we will have a couple guaranteed. But we wont be overly disappointed by a few more.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 4, 2019 at 10:28 PM
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Oh my god mine snowballed for sure. I always imagined a small wedding like 100 people. But we ended up with 250 people.
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Devoted August 2019
Kelsie · on August 5, 2019 at 10:17 AM
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Mine is definitely not on the same scale of big as yours, but originally we were planning on 100. Plus our venue has a 100 minimum for the package...or at least that's what we would be paying for regardless if it was less. At first, FH and I were kind of struggling to get close to 100 with who we thought our parents would want included before asking. Then we asked. Our final projected count was 175, which I was super stressed about. But right now we have 97 yes, 40 declines and almost 40 no response so I'm not quite as stressed. It was hard to cut people, but we had to stop adding before I sent invites out haha.
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on August 5, 2019 at 10:52 AM
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I feel like the cost of our wedding blew up but FH takes zero blame for it with him adding to the guest list when I wanted a small wedding. He says "they are my friends and I wanted them there". Yeah okay, lemme know the last time you've spoken to some of the people on your list. He said I "had to have a fancy wedding". I said riddle me how I wanted a "fancy" wedding because I really don't think it's that fancy and considering we BOTH picked the venue. He said we could've had a reception in a firehall. I said nope you and I both know that you didn't even want that. Our wedding is comparable to other venues in our area and way under what the most expensive venues were. We wanted something barn-like and we both agreed upon that so other types of venues were off the table. We have 115 guests and I still think that is too much because of the per head cost.
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Dedicated August 2020
Tara · on August 5, 2019 at 11:12 AM
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We had originally thought we would have about 80 people total, 40 for each of us, but now it's looking more like 100 total which is fine. We have decent sized families and we both don't mind the extra. It's a day that hopefully for most happens once in a lifetime, and we want all our family/friends/people we love to celebrate this amazing day with us. Though sometimes smaller weddings seem like they'd be way easier/less expensive which is probably true, I wouldn't want it any other way.
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