Real Life Family Feud?

If they do, that she'll leave early, etc. and I can't even talk to her about it without a serious argument ensuing. I don't think they would act out at the wedding or make a scene but my mom continues to go on and on about how they're "classless" and "ghetto". When I ask my dad, he tells me to do whatever I want to do, my mom will calm down eventually but I'm not sure she will. Our wedding is no kids and if I invite them I'll invite my cousins too (most of which have young kids), so I tried to explain that someone has to watch the kiddos and it would probably be my aunts but she isn't having it. My mom is SUPER dramatic these days so she could very well end up being the one to make the scene. I don't want to upset my mom but I don't want to choose sides in this foolish family war. I also hate the fact that people are trying to control my guest list, so part of me wants to say F it and invite everyone and if you don't show up, you don't show up. IDGAF. At the end of the day, I just want a stress free day, so what would you do?

I think you should just sit mom down (again) and tell her that it means the world for you to have her there but you also want your aunts there. Explain to her that they will be seated on opposite sides of the room and play a pity card...letting her know that you are asking her to just be in the same room as these women for one day. She doesn't have to acknowledge them whatsoever.

And if she's still persistent on not coming, say "I'm sorry you feel that way Mom, as I cannot picture my wedding day without you there but this is my family and they WILL be there." Call her bluff, I bet she will have a change of heart about not coming on the wedding day

This is seriously too much lol. That's a lot of grownups acting like kids and I dont' buy into emotional blackmail. I just say "My wedding is a drama free zone. if you don't behave, you can stay home."

When people act like kids, I treat them like how I treated my son when I rented a big bounce house. All the kids kept coming up to me and saying "So and so looked at me wrong" or whatever. Eventually you say "You work it out among yourself or I deflate the bounce house."

They fix it, behave, or none of them can come lol.

Ugh I completely agree with both of you. This is totally ridiculous and they are too old for this. My mom has slowly started to ease up on the not coming. It went from I'm not coming to I'll only come to the ceremony, to I'll stay but if I feel like I'm in harm's way I'm leaving and never speaking to you again. I can't even! I tried to pity her a little and tell her that she's putting me in an awkward situation with my family and her response was "they never sent you guys Christmas cards or birthday presents", these people don't care about you guys and never have. I'm not super close to them but the thing is since I moved out of my mom's house I've been a man on an island with FH so no one has been really close (if that makes sense). The DRAMA. I may need to put that line on my invites Janeen lol

See....so Mom doesn't mean it, she'll be there. Call her bluff. As for the Aunts, I would tell them the same thing as well, and that you don't want any bullshit, but that if they start it, they WILL be asked to leave.

People who are dramatic like that want people to be all in a frenzy with them. If you don't feed it, it dies off on its own.

I would sit down with all of them & have a talk, if they loved you enough they will be cordial for a day. SN- You are my date twin:-) 7/16/16 will be here before we know it!

Hi date twin! Thanks for the advice but a sit down isn't going to happen as everyone is in different states. Plus, my mom would probably call me a traitor. I'm hoping they can behave for a day because if not, everyone's getting kicked out!

Inspite of it all I pray your day will be beautiful & drama free. Good luck!!!

I would say F it. If you have a problem, stay home.

I would say this is a time to sit down and look at who you would value at your wedding more. I personally have family that are also fueding so I get it. I invited them all, but I let them know in advance the people they don't like will be there. If they can't contain themselves for my wedding then don't come. If they value you, they will do it for you. If they come and get crazy then have them escorted away by to police or who ever and let that be it. If you really want your mom there and your aunts have a history of getting physical with her take your moms side, because if God forbid she were to pass you would wish you had her at your wedding. Be strategic but all in all I personally could do with out everyone else and just have my parents his parents and grandparents. They are the most important when it comes down to it anyway. With out your mom you wouldn't be here so she is important. She birthed you so allow your mom to be there. How would you feel if your husbands sibling did that to you and you had a child with him and your kid was thinking about inviting them? Put yourself in your moms shoes even if it is your wedding.

Thanks Allison. AlexisM I'm dangerously close to F it, let the God and universe handle it because I'm done! Alexis and Will, I hear you 100% and of course my mom is more important but to be honest it should be as important for her to be there and threatening not to come was a low blow and it pissed me off. If I was in her shoes, I wouldn't give them the joy of keeping me from the biggest day of my daughter's life. But that's just me. I would never let them hurt my mom but I also think I should give my aunts enough credit to know how to behave at a formal event.

If it were me, I would have a straight talk conversation with my mother and let her know that I love her and I really want her at my wedding. However, it's my wedding. She does not get to decide who can/cannot come to the wedding. That as my mother, I would appreciate it if she would rise above the drama and enjoy my wedding. However, if she is unable to do this, and she chooses not to attend, I would miss her dearly, but not as much as she would miss seeing me marry the man I love.

Janeen nailed it. You can't reason with people who are being irrational. As much as you want to, you can't talk sense into someone who's being childish. Like Janeen said, just lay down the rules and I would bet money that they will all fall into line real quick.

Tell them all to "PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND GROW THE F UP FOR ONE DAY!" Tell them to quit acting like highschool kids.

Wait. ....how long ago did they try to fight your mom. I mean if 3 of them tried to fight her she may have a legitimate concern for her safety

"In fact, 3 of them tried to jump her (yes, you read that right ..."

If those women tried to do that to me, I would have had a restraining order issued against them.

We have two groups of family that are also "feuding" with our core group. We figure we have plenty of time to sort everything out before the wedding so for now they are on the guest list. We will re-evaluate in a couple months before we send out the STDs and see how the relationships look. You also have some time, so you can see if your mom may come around in a few months. Maybe have your dad and the one "good" sister talk to her?

This is the ONLY BAD part of wedding planning for me. I have this kind of invite drama coming from all angles, not just one group of people. The bottom line is it is your wedding, you have put a lot of thought into every aspect of your wedding including the guest list, and after much thought, you thought it was best to invite the people you think should be there. I have 2 aunts and my mother who aren't speaking who are invited. I told them so-and-so will be invited. It was up to them to decide whether or not they can handle seeing them. HAHA the good thing about my venue is that there are 2 dining rooms, it is at an historical mansion. So, set is different. I haven't even gone through that territory yet ... seating arrangements. They all seem to think they can behave for 1 day. Then I have the issue with my MOH's ex-husband and my FH being good friends! They just divorced last year (OF COURSE right when we got engaged) - and FH grew close to him, they are bros.... they hang out once or twice a month. FH wants to invite him! Oooh that's crazy drama. Then there's my brother's drama and my SIL his wife. I'm just like ladi di da ... no worries in the world, not gonna let that stress me out. Whoever wants to come support me and celebrate with us and behave is welcome, anyone causing problems will be politely escorted out. Breathe.

I'm sorry but if anyone tried to "jump" my mother they would 100% not be invited. I don't care if they are family. My family loyalty is to my mother over anyone else. I completely understand why your mom wouldn't want them there.