Ready to give up planning

I agree with the above statements. While yes it would be nice for people to help you if you put things in their perspective, it is not their wedding so they are not obligated to help. My FH wanted to just go to the courthouse and I wanted some kind of ceremony. Knowing that I am doing most of the setting up and planning and ask his opinion when needed. I think since you do not want a big affair but your husband does the minimum he can do is 50% if not more and I would like PP's have said it tell him how you feel and tell him you need to him to pitch in more (give him the tasks that are too much for you and more so if he has an idea then he needs to put it in action). If he is not willing to do his part then you two need to re-evaluate what type of wedding you have. I hope it gets better.

I made it very clear to DH that either he helped, or there wasn't a wedding and we'd go to the courthouse. He wanted a wedding, so he helped (even if sometimes the planning book got swung at his ribs).

Tell your FH that either he helps, or you're done planning, and whatever else isn't done, won't get done. A wedding takes two.

I would make a list of everything that needs to be done yet and pick from that list what you think he could handle. I see you didn't mention that the groomsmen or his outfit have been selected. I would put him in charge of deciding what he wants to wear. I know we got our tuxes from Men's Warehouse and they have the option to go online and build your look. I bet a lot of websites for tuxes/suits have an option like that. Have you decided on music? That would be something easy he could help with. I picked out songs for each thing and sent my husband a list of the different options and he picked which song he liked best for each thing. I would tell your fiance that you are overwhelmed and really need help. Be firm about it because he is the one that wanted the big wedding.

I will start off with wow you have almost everything done dear, I congratulate you on that. I really think you should speak with your FH with some input for the big wedding he wants, start slow maybe ask him to help with two things this week two more in another two weeks. Slow and steady this way he isn't overwhelmed. Perhaps downsizing a bit as well where its not quite the big event or a small event but a happy medium for both of you.

Take some time out to take breaks here and there for yourself. and also, as pp has mentioned, it would be good to have a talk with your spouse about the need to support and help you during this - this is for the both of you so he has to put in some kind of work too

H helped with food, his (and the GM's clothing), desserts (we had doughnuts and pies, not cake), ceremony type/length, and basically did ALL the music - including picking what he and the GM walked in to, the recessional, the reception entrance, etc. He also got to give his opinion on all kinds of decor things, though I had final say on flowers, etc. There are a lot of ways your fiance can help - and he needs to.

Hi Chelsea! I remember from before that your fiance isn't helping you plan and you feel alone planning. I remember that I suggested gently telling him you need help, but now I'm gonna say go nuclear. Tell him if he doesn't get his act together and help you, you're driving him down to the courthouse and that will be the extent of your planning from now on. Tell him that a wedding is for BOTH of you so BOTH of you need to put equal time and effort into planning. If he doesn't take it seriously, why should you, right?

I would put him in charge of finding a caterer and a photographer, and give him a deadline for when it needs to be done.

I think instead of "assigning" him things to do, you show him a list of what needs to be done and see what he wants to help with. Then it's not a chore, but a task he chose to take responsibility for. That's how we've been doing it and it's worked really well!

Yeah, this. I know you are frustrated with the whole situation, but the only person who really SHOULD be helping plan your wedding is the other person getting married. And it's not about assigning him tasks, but about stopping to get your communication issues ironed out before going any further.

Remind him of this: "I wanted a small Vegas wedding and my fiancé wanted the big wedding." And then ask him how he will make sure that big wedding he wants will happen. If he can't/won't carry this weight with you, then you need to carefully consider how will you two handle other big tasks/goals/problems/issues in your marriage.