**Rant** unwanted "advice"

I have gotten advice from my FH's side of the family saying we should run to the courthouse to save money but my dad is paying for it so it's none of their concern where the money is going...hahaha no...unless he gets deployed before March we are not going To the courthouse...also about my plans after marriage...etc...the list goes on...

With unwanted advice you have to smaile and thank then for their concern but let them know: hey I got this...your job is to be there for me if I invite you...

Lol its all downhill from there.. everyone jsut wants to "help"... if you don't already hav babies, just wait til you get knocked up... next baby im getting a shirt that says Advice NOT Required lol

OH MY GOD! This and more. Anyone have coworkers talk about cheating husbands yet? Because all of mine are like "aww, you're getting married. My husband cheated"

@HeyItsIna I have family members who are all set on the fact that I might be mking a big mistake because I'm marrying young (I'll be 21 on my wedding day) and my FH is previously married and has two children...and the fact that he is almost 30...so everyone is like he is gonna cheat on you...are you ready for that? You're gonna be barefoot and pregnant and etc...I really want to tell them "hey shut the hell up"

People are bored and have nothing better to bother you about. Don't worry it goes away eventually, just start telling them you have things booked or already bought stuff and then it goes fade.

@HeyItsIna, one of my immediate coworkers is divorced and another wants to be. the 3rd just got engaged. they were telling her and I all sorts of stuff yesterday, but also went out of their way to say that they know not all marriages are like that. I'm like "don't tell me this, I'm getting married in a month". agh.

Yeah it's really freaking annoying. I just stopped talking about the wedding with certain people, and when they ask, I politely insist we talk about something else since wedding all-consuming these days.

They call me!! Even after stuff we purchased, they're like why did you do this or that. Oh goodness! they're super nice so I can't be mean and I'm not. But it is very frustrating. I don't even want to think about how it will be once we have kids! eeeek!!!

I'm convinced the world cannot stand happy people. There's some satisfaction in raining on a person's parade.

My fmil gave me great advice...she said...smile and nod sau thank u walk away and forget about it. (Unless its her of course... lol)

True @we'llalwayshaveparis people always do have to chime in. It's frustrating but I guess I will have to deal :/ They are trying to give good advice I guess. I am just trying to not get annoyed. I'm learning patience lol my fmil hasn't said too much but she does about lots of other things! we will see as it gets closer. fingers crossed that all goes well!

Wait until you get pregnant and have kids... Seriously unwanted advice never ends.

I used to have this problem, so I just stopped talking to people about the wedding. Now that it's getting closer, any time I see people they ask how the planning's going. I just give a vague answer. Seems to help scale back the unwanted advice.

Yep! My mom thinks since i'm already waist deep in med school debt I should wait until I graduate to get married. Yeah it'll be so much fun planning a wedding when I'm an additional $250k in debt haha. I'm not getting any younger, its now or never! YOLO!

I have a dear friend that seems to give advice all the time. I know she is trying to help and I appreciate it but its advice like well maybe you should move your date *a date we picked because it is very special to us* or maybe you should just go to the courthouse *my last wedding FH's first yep we are going all out*, or here's a dress that's pretty *nothing my style*. I have learned to smile and tell her thank you and go do what we want.

It's been annoying for me at first, but I'm learning to laugh with it and do what I want. From certain people in my life I'm realizing it's their wedding they want to plan for or wish they did.

I understand where you're coming from!! Why that place? Isn't that expensive? Get the dress that is way over budget, it's prettier. You have to wear your hair up. Etc etc etc. annoying!!

I totally agree.... This unwanted advice has reach an all time high

It's no secret. People love to talk about themselves. Parents will always be parents and try to guide their children, regardless of how old they are. Friends are very much the same. Although they mean well, they can become overbearing at times depending on their personality quirks.

The best thing to do in a situation where you're getting unwanted advice is just to smile in appreciation and nod. This lets their guard down and makes them feel appreciated for their willingness to help you. Whether or not you choose to use your new found acquired knowledge is up to you.

Mostly, it's my mom doing this to me. I know she means well, but it doesn't matter how many times I state "I want the girls to have fitted sleeves, NOT shawls with a brooch in between their boobs, like you had at your 1970s wedding," etc., she keeps pushing. If I confront her about it, she gets crazily defensive. It's a lose-lose situation. I wish I could tell her less, but we're planning from 6000 miles away, and so we HAVE to share a lot with her. At least she's not the one making the BM dresses. x-P

It's really random stuff that she's like this with, too... BM dresses, the engagement announcement... random details that she gets WAYYY too emotionally-invested in. Most of the time she's totally cool, but then once in a while, random stuff will pop up and she will act this way. There's no way to tell when it will happen next.