Rant! ‘too young to get married’

I don't think people are necessarily telling you to break up with your fiance, but rather, wait a little longer as you both mature.


I get their concern. Personally, my main argument against marrying young (and by that, I mean before age 25) is that most people do change, personality-wise, quite a bit in their 20s. And that person you married at age 23 might not be the same at age 30. And you might not like it.
I certainly changed. I entered a long term relationship at 19. We were together for 12 years, but by age 32, I realized we were no longer compatible (which is putting mildly), so I broke it off. Thank goodness we weren't married.
Most of my friends who married before 25 also found themselves divorced by their late 20s or early 30s.
But this is all anecdotal and specific to my circles. I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but this might be why people are telling you these things (although the whole "experiencing the world" is pretty BS--you don't need to be single to do that).
Best of luck to you.

I have gotten a couple of times. And honestly it’s annoying. I’m 23 now, I won’t be 24 until after the wedding. My fiancé on the other hand is 34 now, and will be 35 after the wedding. I feel like because we have the age gap more people are more interested in the age gap. Which isn’t helpful in your situation. But I have gotten a ton of people telling me to wait on having a baby. “Enjoy your marriage!” “No rush” or and my favorite “babies are terrible, don’t have any. You’re young you have your whole life in front of you. You wanna get married fine but don’t have kids yet. Are you on birth control?!” Whew. I have been with my partner for 5 years just about. If I haven’t had a baby yet maybe it’s because I’m waiting for marriage. No offense to anyone but older people can be ruthless, offensive, and they don’t care how they hurt your feelings just wanna get their point across.


All in all. F them. Your life your marriage.

I’m also 22 and will get married when I’m 24. My FH and I have been together 4.5 years. I think the whole “maturity” thing really varies couple to couple. If you’re ready to get married and are happy and love each other, then I really think nothing else matters, especially other people’s opinions on your relationship. I met my FH right out of high school and we were in a serious, long distance relationship quickly after meeting and my family always had something to say about it, so I definitely feel where you’re coming from. The beauty in marrying “young” is that you get to experience the world together and grow and change together. Everyone is going to change many times from age 20 to age 80. It’s all about growing together and continuing to love each other through it all.


I personally ignore any comments about my relationship. You and your spouse are the only ones who can say whether or not you’re ready for marriage.
Best of luck! 💕

I can completely understand why that is frustrating people some people get married very young and have long-lasting relationships and some don't. I think what they mean is that maybe wait to get married because marriage is a big commitment. I know for me I would not have been ready to get married in my twenties because I was kind of figuring myself out. Everyone moves at a different pace but I kind of feel your late twenties or your thirties when you start realizing who you are and what you want and you'd have had some experiences. I don't think they are telling you to break up with this guy rather just wait because people do change. But everyone is different. If you are dead-set that you want to marry this guy then when people say that just let them know that those cuts a hurtful and you'd rather not hear them anymore. Baking about being an adult is standing up for yourself because people are going to stress you out especially when it comes to a wedding.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I'm 21, but ill be 22 next month. My FH is 23. I think my parents were both under 21 when they got married! I know 2 couples in my town that are 19 or 20 that are engaged or married. Getting married young isn't for everyone! Some people do need time to explore and grow. But some people are just ready

I was engaged at 21 planning for 23 and I broke it off. It would have been a mistake for us. We’re now 29/30 and happily married to other people. I think people are just concerned bc you never know what life will throw at you or how you’ll change as you continue to mature.

I got engaged in May last year, a couple of weeks after college graduation. I've been with FH for 6 years and I'd say we're definitely way past our age group when it comes to maturity. We'll get married a couple of months before we turn 24. I honestly have not received any push back with my age. That being said, everyone knew this was a long time coming. Just ignore all of those people. It doesn't really matter what they have to say

When my FH and I announced our engagement on facebook, the first comment was my great uncle complaining that we're too young... FH will be 31 and Ill be 28, on marriage number two nonetheless. I think people just like complaining about those younger than they are no matter what and no matter how far of a reach. Anthropologically, its just something we've done for a very long time and likely wont stop until the end of humanity. Dont worry about it 💚

Wow we are in the same boat! 22 now and will be 23 in october when i get married. I've also been with my partner for 5 years. We had comments in the beginning when we got engaged, but once we started actually planning a wedding and really showed we were serious. People stopped making comments. We had people question our finances, the timing of the wedding, venue, etc. Just know that if you feel it's right and you love your partner, nothing else matters

I think it's just easy for a lot of people to think 22 is young and that there's so many things you've yet to experience. But if you know in your heart it's the right thing to do then it's all good

I'll be 24 and my fiance will be 22. It's your journey and your story - and your life! No one else has walked through it in your shoes so they really don't get to make judgement calls for you. Sure, you're young. But that has nothing to do with your capacity to love and sacrifice for another person.

When people say that to me I just say "I know".

We're financially independent, have solid life experiences, have been through a lot together, and are ready for this commitment.

I know 12 year olds who have a better comprehension of love and sacrifice than some 45 year olds.

I wouldn't take offense to what they say, if you can. Just smile and ignore it. As long as you and your fiance are mature (financially independent, good with communication, able to make big life decisions together easily, etc.) then you're fine. It's not their marriage, don't stress! I'm about to turn 26 and my husband is going to turn 30 soon. We met at 21 and 25, got married at 25 and 29. I genuinely don't feel I've changed much as a person from 21 to 25 and any changing I've done has been with my husband in a positive way.

Honestly, part of growing up/maturing is learning not to care what other people think of you. Are you young? Yes. Are you too young to get married? Only you can answer that. What will really help you, no matter if you get married now or wait, is working on trusting your own instincts and ignoring the unsolicited advice that comes your way. Good luck learning to tune out the comments and criticisms of others!

I've been with my FH for 10 years. We are getting married 5 days after my 27th birthday and he will be 28. We've been together since I was 15 years old and he was 16.

It seemed like everyone was saying to us "don't you want to experience life" when we were 21 and then like as soon as we turned 25, a switch flipped and it was like "why are you waiting so long to get married"....People are going to have something to say no matter what you do.

I am glad we waited this long and I don't think we would have been ready when we were younger but that is specific to our relationship and doesn't mean other people who have been dating for 2 or 5 years aren't ready to be married. Or people who are 18 or 22 or 25 aren't ready. That's just OUR specific experience.

I'd say "good thing we are gonna be the ones paying for the divorce then" hahaha.

My husband and I started dating at 16 and married at 23 (which was the normal in our time). This year we will be married 37 years. We didn't have our 1st child for 5 years by choice. Being young this allowed us to really settle into marriage and be somewhat selfish taking vacations, etc. I will add that I am happy my daughter has waited until 33 because she has had some marvelous life experiences that I never had before marriage.

Congrats to you.

I personally hadn't experienced life at your age and am so thankful I didn't get married at 21 when I had the chance. It would have been an awful marriage full of cheating and lies. Now that isn't everyone's experience. You and your partner will change. There is no way of getting around it. The goal is to change with one another and accept those changes. If you feel that your relationship is strong in that respect then go for it. Just know there may be a few more struggles as you both grow into who were supposed to become.

For background - my partner is 6 years older than I am, I’ve just finished my law degree, we are both responsible financially and mature financially.


I think the part that makes it frustrating is that the comments we’ve received have mostly been from older people who have been married for many years with their words veering on the edge of a warming that we will both change.
Yes, we will change over the years, but you don’t stop growing as a person at 25, 30, 40! It’s continuous.

I am 21, FH is 25. No one has given us any issues. I am mature for my age. I think that people are not thinking of age because we will both have a college education and good jobs when we tie the knot next May at 22 and 26. Don’t let people get to you! 😊

I'm 25, FH is 26. We don't hear it often, but yes we still hear that we're too young. But we've been together for almost 7.5 years. I'm a nurse and he has a good job. I just ignore them. We know we're ready and that this is what we want. We want to see the world together, we want to learn and grow together. Nothing wrong with that. Every situation is different. People will always have their own opinions.