Rant: Rude People

Ugh. They are the rude people here. There was a post recently where someone actually rsvp'd for 11. Yep eleven.

"No." This a full sentence. Exercise it at this point. You are well within reason to do.

For people who want to bring extra people. "No. We are unable to accommodate additional guests."

For people who just want to show up: "No. If you just show up, we will be unable to accommodate you."

Oh my gosh! If someone RSVP'd for 11 I would have died right there. And we have had one who told a bridesmaid they were not coming but then they RSVP'd yes. So I called and asked them to clarify and they assured me they were coming. About 30 minutes later bridesmaid sent me a screenshot where they asked her why she told me they weren't coming because they were not going to tell me and just weren't going to show up. They told her not to tell me this time. I was so annoyed. I don't think they realized how much it costs per person at a wedding.

That is super annoying! I hope it works out for you

I like that "No" is a complete sentence! I haven't had anyone being that rude YET. But I believe it is only a matter of time. It is so hard to be nice sometimes

Ugh that sounds so frustrating! Some people just don't get it apparently. Not looking forward to that part of this process!

I just sent my invites out!!

Can't wait for this, people just don't get it!!!

OP try not to stress!

I don't think it's a matter of being intentionally rude as it is obliviousness. I didn't the etiquette until I had to start planning my own wedding...thankfully I never broke it, either

Nope. RSVP only. People can be such dicks.

@Kristen - I agree to an extent but common sense says if I am late I would "ask" if it's too late not just say "hey, we are coming after all" and especially after the host says "our numbers are final" I would back off and understand and not just say "it will be fine..." lol

No to the extras especially since they weren't invited, and just be honest NO NO NO. I love weddings so I don't understand how you "don't know" if you can make it or not a simple yes or no is fine. Some people don't understand how serious it is and that YOU wanting them there means something to YOU. But that's just my opinion.

People can be assholes.

They are most definitely rude for waiting this long. The only people we allowed to wait til last minute to RSVP were my in laws due to unforeseen financial issues interfering with the trip (they live in NE and we're in IL) so we just considered them in our final numbers. The people you are talking about though have no common courtesy and I would let them know that you are not able to accommodate due to numbers being turned in and plan a get together for after the wedding.

One of our groomsmen got married a few weeks ago (that is a whole lesson on why you need a backup plan for outdoor weddings) and I saw a woman there that I knew very well but I could not figure out how she knew the bride or groom. I asked her if she knew the bride or groom and she said neither a friend of hers husband could not make the wedding so she came instead. Not a big deal until her husband and children walked up. I talked to the bride after and she told us that they had about 20 people show up who were not invited that they knew about, not to mention the ones they didn't. This was a huge wedding so most went unnoticed and they had enough food for everyone but I just cringed when I learned that.

ETA: words are hard today

Remember this if you are planning on having children. It is your responsibility to teach them good social behavior.

Well we had one who said, "instead of our kids, can we bring this couple?" and although I had originally budgeted enough for their kids I did not want random strangers coming instead, also they had told us they were having an adult weekend and their kids would not be coming so I had not counted them in the numbers for our venue (also kids cost less that adults). I don't know these people so I don't know if they are socially appropriate or not and it would cost about $100 extra for these two adults to come. I can just see some randoms coming and causing a scene at the wedding and me wanting to kill FH for not saying no. We had to have a talk on how saying no did not make us rude.

That is so frustrating. It's amazing how hard it is for people to send back a pre-stamped/addressed rsvp.

We got pretty lucky. The only strange one was the babysitter we hired to watch my sister's kids during the reception; she was supposed to come to the ceremony too just in case the kids needed to make a quick escape. The sitter came a few days beforehand to meet the kids, and she had a guy with her. Her car had broken down so he was her ride -- ok, totally fair. I was in the kitchen making dinner while my sister spoke with her, and afterwards my sister said she had mentioned about the guy friend coming with her. Oookay, hadn't planned on giving the sitter a plus-one but we went with it. We had plenty of food and plenty of chairs and a good time was had by all. I don't think it was rude, more just slight social obliviousness.

I think it is mostly rudeness. Doesn't matter if it's a wedding or something less formal; if the host(ess) sends an invitation and requests an RSVP, you should provide one by the date requested, and you should stick to it.

That said, this is one of many reasons my fiance and I are having our wedding out-of-state. We have almost total control over the guest list, and since roughly 90% of our guests will be traveling, they'll have to make arrangements in advance, so it is unlikely that we will have many last-minute RSVPs, maybe/maybe not RSVPs, or no-shows.

@FutureMrsL - That's crazy! I can't believe how rude some people are.

Due to WW, I am absolutely DREADING the RSVPs.