Rant: negative parents

My mom was the same way so I stopped telling her any details. When she bitched, I explained exactly why. Didn't hear her bitch about the wedding much after that. She also didn't contribute financially so she didn't get a say.

Woooosahhh! Tell her how you feel. If she doesn't change then do the above.

Ny dad passed away too 8 years ago and I still miss his jokes. My mom can be negative without meaning too so honestly I just don't bring up wedding stuff to her. She's not contributing financially so it works out fine. Her negativity stresses me out so it's for the best Haha

My mom is happy for FH and I, but she's never been that type of mom that always imagined helping her daughter plan her wedding. Anytime I try to get some input on wedding things, she acts like I'm bothering her. So I've just stopped talking to her about the wedding. If she wants to bring it up, then we can talk. Otherwise, it's NWR talk.

Maybe your mom is missing your dad also. Perhaps the talk of your wedding is bringing back memories of theirs and their marriage. I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt and sit down and talk to her. Tell her you know how hard things are without dad, that you miss him to, but you feel like she is not interested in your wedding. She will either tell you that she's not interested, tell you she is and wants to be included. She could also think that she is being supportive and just playing devils advocate regarding the location. Talk to her and if the situation doesn't get resolved don't talk to her about it. Good luck

I second ^^. Even if they were divorced, I bet she always envisioned them both being there for you on your special day. She maybe depressed about it and doesn't realize it? As MOB, we just want what is best for the couple, but we also understand how expensive things are and is can be concerning as a parent. Try to talk to her.

I totally get it. My mom and I are super close but for some reason she has argued with me on everything. We are paying for everything ourselves and I have done a TON of research over the past 2 years of being engaged and haven't decided on anything on a whim so when I try to share something with her that we've decided on so she's in the loop, it was very frustrating to always hear "well what about this instead?" or "you should do that." She's also super stressed lately so she has a hard time remembering things. My FH jokes and says that we should have her initial things we've gone over so that we can prove to her that we've already discussed it. I just try to remember that her suggestions are because she wants to make sure we have the perfect day but it can be trying at times. Just keep in mind that her suggestions are coming from a place of love and explain to her why you're choosing what you are so she can see how much work you've put into it and your thought process. It can be hard to remember that we're now adults and we can do things without our mom's permission but just remember this day is about you and your fiance and that you two are a team!

Thanks everyone I truly appreciate the feedback and advice.

@happeningmom and @suzz I never even thought of those perspectives but it definitely fits her behavior and personality. Hopefully a good mother/daughter day will be perfect opportunity to discuss.

Seriously, thanks to everyone. It's hard to air this to strangers and its truly heartwarming to read everyone's advice and support.

My mom was very similar but it wasn't that she was trying to be difficult. She just wanted me to be happy and it to go the way I wanted to. Is it possible her comments, while maybe not coming out this way, are coming from a good place?

My mom is always negative about anything. So wedding talk wasn't any different. I just try not to talk to her about it.

Sorry for the loss of your dad. I can't imagine. Hugs to you.