You're on our mind during COVID-19. See our related wedding FAQs.

Savvy September 2019

Rant: moh Dropped Out

Kelsey, on July 10, 2019 at 2:08 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
Saved Save

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So I asked my high school best friend to be my MOH last August. The wedding is this September. She lives in another province and would need to fly or drive out here. All around costs estimated to be $500 CAD at most, which included her dress, food, and transportation. Accommodation was free at my house. She was adamant from the beginning that she was going to take $20-$40 from each pay cheque to save for her flights or whatever. Cut to last month she's been complaining to me about how tight her finances have been (even though she literally just bought a brand new tv two weeks ago, a $1000 dog, she goes out to eat all the time, buys alcohol and cigarettes like they're going out of style, doesn't pay rent, works for her step-dad getting paid tax-free CASH under the table, etc.) so I decided to give her an out. I basically said if the financial strain was too much, just tell me now and she can bow out with no hard feelings. She firmly said no, she'll be there. So I buy all my bridesmaids gifts, some of which were personalized with her name on it and I can't return them. THEN THIS BIZNATCH HAS THE AUDACITY TO TEXT ME, NOT EVEN CALL ME, SHE SENDS ME A TEXT THAT SHE CAN'T COME BECAUSE SHE CAN'T AFFORD IT, WHEN LITERALLY THREE DAYS AGO SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO BUY HER PLANE TICKETS WITH HER BOYFRIEND'S (who has two kids with two different ex baby momma's that he hasn't seen in well over a year and doesn't pay a cent in child support) FIRST PAY CHEQUE AT HIS NEW JOB. She told me it was no trouble, all while blowing her money on new tv's and dogs and whatever the F else. This 26 year old woman couldn't save $500 over the course of a year to be there for her best friend's wedding, when I have been there for her through EVERYTHING. I've asked for literally NOTHING in return. Ever. This was literally the first time I've ever asked something of her. I'm so livid. As far as I'm concerned the friendship is done. She's so incredible irresponsible I simply can't take it anymore. We're 8 weeks out and this messes up a ton of crap that I now have to deal with. I was never a priority from the start and I knew it.

For more context on how selfish this girl is, the DAY AFTER I got engaged, she suddenly calls me up all excited saying that her and her boyfriend were now planning on getting married out of the blue, even though he hadn't proposed, and she started tasking me with looking up wedding venues and pricing things out for her. Obviously that never happened and they're still not engaged. But she literally makes everything about her. I just need a good scream.

The End.


  • Wendy
    Rockstar August 2020
    Wendy ·
    • Flag
    Wow that is very upsetting and disappointing!! I would feel the exact same way.. the good side of things is that she finally said no now instead of way closer... forget her and focus on your day and the rest of your bride tribe!!!
    • Reply
  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
    • Flag

    Wow sorry to hear this ! and yes I agree scream, shout and get it all out! Then move on if she didn't make your friendship a priority that's her lost. Easier said then done to just get over her as a supposed best friend but you are marrying your life-long true best friend ! enjoy your day!

    • Reply
  • Sinéad
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
    Sinéad ·
    • Flag

    Hi Kelsey! I’m so sorry that you are going through this. It’s not an easy thing to deal with, especially since you have so much going on with planning your wedding.

    You should definitely take some time for yourself and try not to stress yourself out about wedding tasks. It’s totally understandable to be upset about the situation and whatever emotions you are feeling are totally fine!

    • Reply
  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
    • Flag
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this! Sometimes the people we are closest with let us down the most. Now you know where she stands. Get mad, and then let it go. Better days are ahead.
    • Reply
  • Arielle
    Expert August 2020
    Arielle ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry girl. I'd be extremely upset too. I'd distance myself from her for a bit so you can destress. I hope it all works out for you.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    Dang, that is really disappointing. Try not to let her ruin your engagement/planning. I know, easier said than done. Unfortunately, we outgrow some friendships. It's hard, but better for us in the long run. Sounds like maybe y'all might be starting to head in two different directions.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Scream it out, girl! Very frustrating. The good news is, this friendship is over. No more hearing about her complain about situations she puts herself into and you are totally off the hook for any involvement in her wedding. Done. Bye bye. You totally dodged a bullet and she ended this lopsided friendship for you. Let it all out, then let go & move on.
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Master October 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, she definitely severed the friendship all on her own. She doesn't seem like a friend, let alone a best friend. She appears to be extremely selfish, and probably even jealous of your upcoming wedding. She just sent a text and dismissed you- I find that very petty and unkind, after everything you're trying to do to accommodate her. She just seems plain mean. Girl, just focus on your union with your partner and those who are involved and who have your back. Those are the type of people you need in your circle. Those who will make you smile, feel good about yourself. You're getting married to the love of your life, and you're going to have a ball. You know what they say, sometimes the trash takes itself out. You don't need people like her in your life. Toxicity is the last thing you need. It's okay to feel upset, because she betrayed you, misled you and lied to you... and seems to be living a double life than what she describes to you. That's not right, and true friends should be upfront and honest. She clearly didn't want to be involved. It's sad too, because you thought so highly of her, that you made her your MOH, just for her to spit in your face. It's really sad. I'm hoping that you have a fantastic wedding, this coming September, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your partner,Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
    • Flag

    That's crazy. It sucks but at least theres one positive: this happened before you had to look back on wedding photos with someone who would do that to you. I'm so sorry, I hope you're able to focus and enjoy your wedding the way you deserve to with the people who show you their support!

    • Reply

Comment on this discussion

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

WeddingWire article topics