For background, I'm 23, FH is 29. We've been together since I was 18 and we will be getting married at the end of 2021. We both work full time and live together with our fur-baby. We will be renovating our apartment in the next year, we have a new car that is arriving soon, and eventually in a few years' time will hopefully expand our family. I've always been the 'mum friend' in my friendship group because I was more mature than the others and had my stuff together (I worked since I was 14, saved up for everything I've ever wanted or done, have a long-term serious relationship, went through uni and finished etc).
I recently told a good friend of mine (let's call her Grace) that I decided not to do anything for my birthday this year because with the expense of a new car, renovating, and eventually the wedding, my hands are pretty tied financially and that I didn't want to have everyone over for something low-key because I'd ultimately no one would help out and I'd end up cleaning up at midnight when everyone goes home, which I so can't be bothered to do on my birthday of all days. Grace jokingly started to launch the attack of 'how old are you? you're not a senior citizen!' and told me I'm too young to worry about X, Y, Z etc etc.
I'm not bothered by the idea of not doing anything for my birthday, but I got a bit angry that Grace had to comment on it in the way that she did. I can fully appreciate that she wants me to enjoy my life and not be held down by things, but I feel like she doesn't understand that (a) everything I do is because I want to do it, and (b) there's nothing wrong with being 'settled' and having the commitments I have.
I have somewhat distanced myself from Grace over the last few months because she's made some comments on various occasions which I have not appreciated, some of which I called her out on (i.e. FH and I are deathly scared of travelling by plane, she 'jokingly' suggested she'd get us therapy sessions as our wedding gift). I'm not too sure if perhaps I am overreacting to a small comment. I feel like she just doesn't understand everything in my life since she isn't at that point in her life and perhaps doesn't realise that her comments can be really offensive sometimes (such as the therapy comment). Ugh. Rant over.