Hey all,
We had our reception this past weekend. At the beginning of the month of June, we had about 50 RSVPs. Slowly but surely, people began backing out. We heard all sorts of excuses: one guest wanted to go to someone else's wedding, another wanted to come to our ceremony but someone else's reception, another was in the process of buying a house and was too busy, etc. My final RSVP count to my vendors was 41 guests. And so we began the grueling 21 hour drive to Idaho.
After arriving in Idaho, we checked in with all of our guests to see if they needed help with rides/transportation/etc. By the Tuesday before our wedding, several people more backed out after receiving texts from us: one claimed that his fiance had broken up with him and had cancelled their tickets and hotel, two others claimed they'd lost their home, another told us that her doctor didn't feel comfortable with her meeting with people, given her health, and our groomsmen neglected to mention that he'd broken up with his date in the weeks prior and she wouldn't be attending. On top of that, one of our groomsmen went MIA and just stopped answering phone calls and texts. He'd respond to the other groomsmen, but not my husband. We made the decision to go to each of our vendors and see if they'd be willing to readjust for our reduced numbers. That in and of itself was a very demeaning experience- we were essentially blamed for our poor planning and were told that "there was nothing [the vendor] could do."
On the Thursday prior to the wedding, family came to visit. During the visit, their hyperactive four year old ran around the house like a hooligan, throwing things around. My-inlaws (whom we were staying with) were uncomfortable, but didn't say anything. The final straw was when the four-year-old opened the front door and let my dog out. I had to chase them down half a mile to finally round them. My dog is a recent rescue and is still working on his commands. I didn't get an apology from her and her mom. Both just stood around as I came back to the house, covered in sweat and tears at the thought of losing my dog.
On the day of the wedding, four more people cancelled. Both couples apparently had lost their house and "had been meaning to reach out". Those that did come didn't even bother to get us a card and left shortly after cake. No one in our wedding party even bothered to get us a gift, despite us paying for flights, hotels, clothing, and hair/makeup. Mind you, all of our guests are better off than us- one bridesmaid has made trips to Palm Springs, Vegas, and Hawaii this year. Another got a $15,000 bonus at work recently and a groomsmen just bought a BMW.
I am so incredibly frustrated. I'd been scrimping and saving for almost an entire year and sacrificed things we desperately needed, such as new phones. If we'd known our guest count would have been so low, we could have taken everyone to a nice dinner downtown and saved ourselves quite literally, $7-$8k. That money could have been put towards a new car or our student loans. The lack of consideration and respect for our feelings has me so incredibly down in the dumps. I know it's normal for guests to screw the pooch a bit, but this feels excessive. My husband and I are the first to help out whenever someone needs it- he stays later after work to help colleagues with their workload and I'm usually the first person people call in a crisis, given my profession- for example, I helped my MOH get a restraining order against her abusive ex, break her lease, and gather her belongings. No one's excuses really make any sense, when taking into account the entirety of the situation and I'm SO SO SO incredibly frustrated and I wish I could have just skipped all of this.
