Rabbi to officiate wedding - budget question

Yikes! Where are you located? The most I've seen for an officiant was like $500.

I thought it was really high! Our wedding will be about an hour northwest of nyc.

There's a vendor on here in that area, I'll get her to come comment on this.

I'm in NYC and mine is $500 for personal vows.

That seems really high! Does it include premarital counseling or something?? Or is it just to officiate your ceremony and nothing extra? I live in Los Angeles, which is very expensive for most things, and the highest officiant quote I received was around $1k...... I don't think it could hurt to tell him what your budget is and see what he's willing to do. He might say no, but he might say yes.

Thanks all! It includes "getting to know us" sessions, which are meet ups, him facilitating conversations about our future goals, and Shabbat dinner at his home. He requires couples to meet with him at least 3 times. So after he gave us the quote he did say he understands people have budgets and he's not going to haggle, think about what we can afford and he'll work with us. I just have no idea, after he quoted $1800, if it's really awful to say we can only do $1000, and that's really all we can do.

Rabbis are totally different than officiants. My personal rabbi doesn't do the 'getting to know you' sessions or a Shabbat dinner. He is 850-900.00

Why do you want a Rabbi if you aren't going to follow the rules on when you can get married? It would be a lot cheaper to hire an officiant than this guy.

That's a good point, Celia. So I wonder if we can say that we can do $1000 and we understand he may not be able to do the multiple meetings with us?

Jane, yeah there's definitely some conflicting values. It's the way I've always imagined our ceremony and some rabbis, this one included, will do a Saturday evening ceremony before sundown. If we can make it work then that would be the preference, but I know we may have to consider other options.

As someone who is also a jew I personally believe it can't be a Jewish wedding if it's on Shabbat aka Saturday before sundown. So be prepared for that reaction or even people being offended depending on how religious they are. That is probably why he is charging that rate. I would be curious what his rate would be if it wasn't during the day of rest aka Shabbat.

My rabbi is doing it for free because I have known her for as long as I can remember. With four meetings to talk about wedding stuff via Skype because we live in different states.

Whoah...I'm in DC/NOVA, a very expensive area, and my officiant (a pastor) is $500 (with premarital counseling).

@Hallie - The issue is that weddings are prohibited on the Sabbath. I'm actually surprised she found a Rabbi who would break this rule. I'm not surprised he's charging an outrageous amount because I doubt he's affiliated with a synagogue.

Jane, I'm sure that's part of it. He does have his own congregation. It's definitely rare but I have another girlfriend who was married by a rabbi on a Saturday before sundown. I think your point earlier though is probably what I need to think about - budget or rabbi to officiate. I was more trying to weigh how acceptable it would be to get back to him with our budget. FH said the worst that can happen is he'll say no.

Nikki, we cleared it with my mom first, but definitely a good point. No one else in our family is practicing/observant, and FH's family is Catholic.

I would just talk to him honestly and say that you had only budgeted $1000 for this and if he can offer you something to make it work great, but if not you understand.

That is ridiculous! My Rabbi said whatever I feel comfortable with but usually the range is $500-$750. He is also a personal friend and is invited to the reception. So I will do something in the middle. He does three sessions with us. We just had our second one tonight. We live on Philly.

He would never marry us before sundown. We are doing ketubah and havdallah at 5:45pm and ceremony at 6:30pm. My family wouldn't be happy if we did it before Shabbat was over. I am shocked that a rabbi agreed to this.

I'm 1.5 hours east of NYC and my officiant is only $250! We got quotes ranging from $100-600. Is this because it's on a Saturday? I know many NYC Jewish weddings take place on Sundays from my friends there. Either way, I would try and get a comparison quote from someone else first before getting back to him.