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Emily
Savvy April 2023

Quitting Smoking

Emily, on August 25, 2022 at 8:49 AM Posted in Fitness and Health 0 23

I had started smoking when I was 17 and smoked minimally for 4 years (smoking just over a pack a week at the height of my smoking). I easily quit in February 2021 when I realized things were going really well with my FH who is a non-smoker. He did know I smoked but thought it was limited to weekend drinking. I realize I did something really stupid 3 weeks ago when I was feeling stress from the wedding and from work and asked a guy I work with for a cigarette. It felt perfect but I figured it was just what I needed at the moment. Unfortunately, I felt the desire the next morning and visited my "adviser" neighbor, who I know smokes and told her I was stressed and asked if I could bum a cigarette. She gave me the rest of her pack that tied me over for several days. However, I stopped for gas 4 days later and bought my own pack. It was initially easy to hide as my FH and I don't live together, and I was only having 1 - 2 a day - after I'd see him or when I knew I wouldn't see him for hours. He's been out of town since Saturday and I've recognized that I'm smoking more this week than I did before I quit. I bought the less-expensive, 3-pack after dropping him off at the airport. I am up to 4-5 a day. Part of the increase is not having him around (like before - I smoke more w/o intimacy) but I know I need to quit or fess up. I know he'd be understanding but also disappointed. Other than my co-worker and neighbor, no one else knows I've begun the habit again and I'd prefer to keep it that way. So, I'm reaching out to see if anyone has any sure-fire methods to quit. I really don't want to vape because I know the nicotine content in vapes will only feed the addiction. Thanks for thinking about this one.

Em

23 Comments

Latest activity by Wiserx, on November 9, 2022 at 8:24 AM
  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    Em,

    I'm sorry you've fallen back into this habit, it can be really hard to kick it. I don't' think there are any sure-fire ways to quit, as the temptation is ALWAYS going to be there. FH had a dipping problem, and one day we decided it was time for him to quit. He had 1 can left and made it last as long as he could, and after that...nothing. It was really hard for him. It's been almost 5 weeks and he still asks every now and again "what if I just do 1 can a week?" but the reality of it is, any of the substance is going to blow your sobriety. Honestly, you just need to put your foot down and fight the temptations because at the end of the day, it's your mind versus your body here.

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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    Agreed! Good luck to your FH. I hope he can refrain. I didn't think I'd be part of the statistics and really thought 1 would be fine. I quit before and can do it again. I don't want to be the bride the sneaks out to get a fix during the reception.

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  • E
    Expert September 2022
    EGD ·
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    No advice on quitting, but I would suggest fessing up to your FH. Especially if you tend to smoke when you drink and you will be drinking at your wedding.

    I currently vape but previously smoked a pack a day. I hid it from my family for YEARS (I was an adult and not living at home but still felt a sense of shame,) but they eventually found out. Honestly, them finding out wasn't as big of a deal as I made it out to be in my head, and I'm glad they found out but still am uneasy smoking in front of them. It made being drunk at my cousins wedding and bumming one off another cousin easier and I now know I can bum one at my wedding and no one will make a big deal of it on the wedding night cause I know I'll hit that level of drunk lol

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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    I came to the same conclusion of fessing up this morning when I recognized my best intention went awry. I am likely going to call him so he knows before he gets home tomorrow and just tell him I've been struggling the last couple weeks. I do think he'll be understanding but want to know my intentions. thx for ur reply

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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I usually give up drinking for Lent, and it REALLY hits you on those days when you come home from a stressful day and want a glass of wine. At one point I started keeping a tally of the number of times I wanted to drink but didn't. Being able to show yourself "I wanted to drink x number of times, but I didn't, so I can say no now too" helps. I think also tying a dollar value to it (i.e. "I saved $X by saying no") helps too.

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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    I know what ur saying and it makes total sense. I'm working on a few things before I tell FH. I'm trying to understand why it was so easy to quit 18 months ago and why I never felt addicted. Now, after 3 weeks, I'm struggling not to have several a day. I confided in my co-worker who gave me the first cigarette 3 weeks ago that my body suddenly needed nicotine and he felt horrible that he had enabled me. He told me a friend of his saw a hypnotist and that it helped. Not sure I'm ready for this but I'll see how tomorrow goes.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    You could try hypnotism. My step dad quit smoking cold turkey with the help of a hypnotist 20 years ago and hasn't gone back.

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  • Ali
    Dedicated September 2023
    Ali ·
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    Lean on FH for support! One of the best first steps are being honest and sharing with others for accountability. I quit drinking five years ago, but quitting smoking last year was one of the toughest things. Be kind to yourself. We are all learning and growing! Good luck!
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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    Thx for the confirmation Kelly. Smiley smile

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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    I love what u wrote and will admit I've felt guilty about hiding this the past three weeks. He will be back tomorrow and I will share this with him....unless I miraculously quit before he gets back. lol

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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    Wanted to provide an update….. Shared with my FH last night that I had backslid and had been smoking the past 3 weeks. I told him this upon his return from a 6 day business trip. He definitely was taken aback and asked about my intentions to quit which I couldn’t answer right now. Once he got beyond the initial shock he was very understanding. I ended up staying with him last night and we made up for 6 lost days. I’m not sure it was our intimacy or getting my secret off my chest but my need factor was definitely reduced. This morning when I woke up , my craving was strong but we chose an alternative to me smoking Smiley winking. It definitely helped short term. After, He made coffee and that was my downfall and he could tell. I had been 15 hours w/o nicotine. I didn’t want to give in….especially with us together. Other than when I was drunk when we were first dating, he’d never seen me smoke. Shockingly, he said that he thought I needed a cigarette and suggested I try slowly to stop and he’d be fine if I had one.!!OMG I love him. And after we rewarded each other one more time before I had to go.
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  • Madison
    Beginner April 2023
    Madison ·
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    Lol. I’m glad you found a substitute for smoking- even if temporary. I’ve never been a smoker but hope the two of you can find a common ground
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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    He was really sweet about it once he got over the shock. He even said it was strange but he thought I was a sexy smoker. lol But I can't do the substitute with every craving. I am much better today though. I've only had 2 in the past 20 hours. I will keep pressing on.

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  • Adrienne
    Beginner January 2023
    Adrienne ·
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    Hang in there! Have you tried the patch or the gum?

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  • Ali
    Dedicated September 2023
    Ali ·
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    That's amazing!! So glad to hear!! ❤️
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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    I haven’t yet. I am going to take this one day at a time. Today is the best I’ve done in the past two weeks. I want to see if I can bear this on my own but if it gets worse, I will attempt one thing at a time. Did the patch or gum work for you or someone you know? I think both of those things still have nicotine in them so the craving will remain. Not totally sure though
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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    😉💕 thx for your direction
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  • Adrienne
    Beginner January 2023
    Adrienne ·
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    That sounds like a good plan! I was just curious. Someone I know uses both when they are Juuling more than they want to be and it does help them cut back, but it sounds like you went a while without smoking at all so it might not be the right solution for you. I’m not an expert, but your doctor might also be able to make a suggestion!
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  • Emily
    Savvy April 2023
    Emily ·
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    I actually see my GYN this week. She’s probably not the one to ask but I know I’ll get a lecture from her and she’ll tell me I need to be off my BCPs if I’m smoking Maybe that’s good. I’m already scaring myself that way. Today was more like yesterday and I’ve had better control
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  • Adrienne
    Beginner January 2023
    Adrienne ·
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    Hang in there! I hope she treats you with compassion. It’s a stressful time— you got this! 😊
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