Questions when meeting w/ an officiant

We are not inviting our officiant to attend the reception after as we have no personal relationship with them. We are also having a small intimate wedding(40 invited) and have designed the days layout to have no vendors(besides the caterers) needed after cocktail hour so we are not obligated to feed them.

I would ask him in the event of an emergency who would be stepping in his place. Also if need be is he willing to coordinate his attire to your wedding theme(example a certain colour tie).

Most importantly, you need to see how your personalities mesh and pay attention to his presentation style. Is he a good speaker? Animated? Or monotone and flat? Is he creepy? (I know, this is a weird, emotional question, but people tell me this all the time...)

Will he let you pick readings and have some say in the structure of the ceremony? Does he automatically make it religious or not, and is he open to suggestions?

Will it be actually him at the wedding or an associate?

What does he wear? How is the ceremony presented (loose sheets of paper make me nuts.....)

What is in the contract? Arrival time, rehearsal on the day or before or not at all? Payment schedule.

Is he familiar with how to take care of the license legalities?

Does he have reviews or references?

We are typically invited, but unless the officiant is a family pastor or rabbi, most of us won't stay beyond cocktail hour.

ETD; the emergency question is a good one. You should never be worried about plan B

As for attire....I prefer to be almost invisible, but you might ask if he automatically wears a robe (if you don't want one) or could (if you do)

Do you consider yourself "awesome"?

What are you're feelings on the word "fuck"

Can you make a ceremony meaningful and spiritual without using the word "God" or including any mention of organized religion?

okay- just kidding- I didn't ask those first two questions- but I man- they were high on the priority list in terms of evaluation- 3rd was an actual question/consideration and VERY important to us as a couple. (I was only concerned b/c it's HIS concern- so I know that was a deal breaker)

Final question that should be asked What about any changes- venue/location/timing- deposit return if something happens?

You shouldn't invite your officiant to your reception unless you have a personal relationship with them. A good question to ask is how much of the ceremony can you customize, is he available for a rehearsal and if so is that an extra cost, what he wears, and does he have a lapel mic or regular mic or do you need to provide sound equipment.

@Anna, it's really just an etiquette thing....you should, but don't expect them to say yes or be offended when they say no. Most of us won't or can't stay.

I really don't want my couples' families to think I'm a rent-a-pastor....like I was paid for the ceremony and when it's over I"m gone. The nature of our work is to make the guests feel as if we've known the couple forever, and very often some of them want to know about the ceremony elements. So it's just a little bit of a courtesy as well a little time to say hello to people for a few minutes. (Note; if it's a really intimate party, like under 40ish? I say goodbye and disappear....)

@Anna; try to do a skype call or a face time call so you have some sense of their presence. Even locally, I rarely meet anyone in person any more; everyone is just so busy.

But don't wait! June is just around the corner!!

@JoRocka - that third was important to us, and we ended up meeting with our officiant and his wife about all of our geeky interests! Our officiant's wife actually just crafted my FH some chewbacca and Han Solo cuff links for him and his best man haha, and when I asked her how much to pay she said they are a gift for us! So yes, we a million percent are asking them to the reception (although Celia - should I mail them an invite with an RSVP card and everything? I have enough but I wasn't sure) and they keep saying how excited they are for tacos so I think they will hang out at least a little bit.

I'm one million percent the most excited about my officiant; he and his wife were the third thing I booked because I wanted a ceremony that stood out. From his reviews and how great they've been, I am sure we made the right choice. :-)

Jo, as to #2, at a reception I was seated next to a young woman who could not put together a sentence w/o using that word at least once or twice. I think she was trying to shock me -- maybe she thought I am a minister. I was only impressed with her lack of vocabulary!

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I plan to invite our priest, just because I was always told that it is proper to do so. Most times, it seems, they stay for dinner, then leave. At least, that's been my experience. Plus, he's a really nice man.