Questions on the Wedding Rehearsal and Dinner

1. I think you invite them and they rarely come.

2. No, especially if its on a Friday where people work. You might want to pick up some snacks since dinner won't be till later.

3. yes, invite them. It's polite and they'll enjoy the night more. If not, they'll leave early.

4. We are doing bridal party and parents.

5. Grooms family can host and if they offer accept it to be polite. If they don't you can pay for it. It's totally acceptable to have people pay for their own liquor.

6. we sent out formal invites to make it clear they were invited and to let them know the schedule.

You might want to book your place now. We had trouble finding a place to accommodate us 5 months out. Also, if budget is a factor, as to make a special menu. We have 6 options to choose from. It keeps the price reasonable and helps the staff keep it simple.

1. Officiant does not need to attend

2. When are you going to eat? If you have later eaters I guess that wound be fine.

3. Yes - invite significant others

4. Whoever you want. I would def do parents, siblings, bridal party, godparents, and grandparents.

5. Either a family members hosts if for you, or you and FH/FW pay for all of it. That's screwed up to make attendants pay

6. Nope, Call people, text people, e-mail people

1. In my opinion - absolutely yes! I wanted the officiant to also do a quick run-through of the service to make sure that everything's correct and everyone is on the same page!

2. Sounds fine to me!

3. Significant others should definitely be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but they don't need to attend the rehearsal. If it's easier for them to get to the rehearsal dinner by going with the bridal party to the rehearsal and just hanging out, then that totally works (I've done this a lot when DH has been a groomsman)

4. We did wedding party and their dates, immediate families, and a few really close family friends. We did not invite all out of town guests!

5. Whoever offers to host is the host!

6. We went with an informal e-vite for the rehearsal dinner

1. Does the officiant need to attend your wedding rehearsal if you have a wedding coordinator? I was thinking it would be more for everyone to get the processional order and pacing right..

Absolutely- this is the officiant's responsibility, not the DOC's. Having said that, you don't need

a rehearsal at all. The Doc can tell everyone when to walk the day of.

2. Is 6:15pm too late in the evening to hold a rehearsal?

Try to keep it short, otherwise it's a long and late day, especially if anyone has to travel.

3. For the rehearsal dinner, do you also invite the significant others of the groomsmen and bridesmaid?

Yes. They will often meet up with their SO's at the dinner, but if transportation is a problem.

they can sit quietly at the back of the rehearsal.

4. Who else should be invited apart from the BP members? My friend said you should invite anyone who has traveled to attend the wedding but for us that would be everybody!

It is not a breach of etiquette to limit the guest list to the wedding party, their SO's,

immediate family and SO's, parents and sometimes grandparents.Most of us cannot afford

to do every grand gesture we read about online.

5. Also, the groom's parent are suppose to host it? Is it poor etiquette if the bride and groom host the rehearsal dinner? My friend had people pay for their own food at her rehearsal dinner but I didn't like this idea for our rehearsal dinner.

Traditionally, the groom's family hosted the RD, but if they don't offer, and you want to

have one, it's fine for the two of you to host.

6. Do you have to send formal paper invites for the rehearsal and dinner afterwards?

No, they can be more casual.

1. We are inviting our officiant. He is a part of the big day so of course he should be included. In my opinion, your officiant will coordinate a lot more than you DOC.

2. 6:15 pm is not too late. Our rehearsal is at 6:00 with dinner at 7:00.

3. Always, always, always invite the SO of your BP.

4. Invite anyone who is participating in the rehearsal. OOT guests are not necessary.

5. While it used to be traditional for the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner that typically isn't the norm anymore. If they offer, great. If not, then you should pay. No one who is attending should have to pay for their own meal.

6. You don't have to send paper invites. I am sending a mass email along with our weekend timeline.

You absolutely have to host the wedding party members and their guests at a dinner including alcohol if you require a rehearsal! Also, it is standard to invite the officiant if they attend the rehearsal. If yours isn't there than no there is no need to invite them. They will most likely not come if they are a hired stranger, but if a known minister, etc. they will attend. I am having my past and current ministers perform my wedding, and both are coming to the rehearsal dinner.

Absolutely do not feel that it is weird for you as the couple to host the rehearsal dinner! My FMIL loves to plan things and over the rehearsal dinner as her due. Otherwise, we would be having pizza and beer, paid by us, which would be just as good per etiquette. Our rehearsal is at 6pm, apps at 7:30 and dinner won't be served until 8:15. You are for sure not too late at 6:15.

ETA I misread prior posters because of the format and thought they were saying no to inviting wedding party guests and the officiant. I agree with them and strongly urge you to invite them all.

1. You probably do want them at the rehearsal. The officiant gives a brief run through of what happens when. You should invite them to the dinner but most don't go.

2. It's not too late

3. Yes. It is a social event in the evening. If you don't allow SOs you may end up with a lot of people leaving early.

4. This one is more tricky. Definitely parents and grandparents and probably any siblings not in the bridal party. Beyond that it really depends on the specifics. If you only had a few guests who traveled, it is nice to invite them but not necessary (and it sounds like you have too many for that to be feasible).

5. It is traditional for the groom's parents to host the rehearsal dinner, but traditionally that was pretty much the only thing they paid for. If they offer to pay you can graciously accept, but that also means that they determine the guest list. It is never poor etiquette to act as the host for an event you organized. It is perfectly acceptable (and growing more common) for the bride and groom to host the rehearsal dinner. It would be poor etiquette to have everyone pay for themselves. Downgrade the quality of the dinner (pizza and beer instead of restaurant?) if necessary but don't ask them to pay. This could also tie into who to invite. Invite who you can afford to feed with the minimum guest list being the wedding party and parents.

6. Nope. You can, but text or email works just fine.

1. Does the officiant need to attend your wedding rehearsal if you have a wedding coordinator? *No

2. Is 6:15pm too late in the evening to hold a rehearsal? *No

3. For the rehearsal dinner, do you also invite the significant others of the groomsmen and bridesmaid? *Yes

4. Who else should be invited apart from the BP members? *Parents if applicable

5. Also, the groom's parent are suppose to host it? *An old tradition

6. Do you have to send formal paper invites for the rehearsal and dinner afterwards? *No

1. No, but an invite to dinner is a nice gesture. We have coordinated everything with our officiant prior and the DOC now takes it.

2. Nope, sounds like dinner time to me

3. Absolutely

4. Anyone you want - we have invited everyone staying at the hotel the night before so basically all out of town guests

5. No, my FH's dad gifted some money very generously towards this and we are adding to it

6. Nope

1. Does the officiant need to attend your wedding rehearsal if you have a wedding coordinator?

Nope. Our officiant told us she doesn't have to/need to attend the rehearsal unless we request her specifically. If you've got a coordinator, you should be fine, but double check with your officiant too.

2. Is 6:15pm too late in the evening to hold a rehearsal?

For the actual rehearsal that might be a little late - especially if your venue has other events going on? If it is a short rehearsal, that's not bad because everyone could go straight to dinner. But if it was longer than an hour I'd be hungry!

3. For the rehearsal dinner, do you also invite the significant others of the groomsmen and bridesmaid?

Yes, you should.

4. Who else should be invited apart from the BP members?

You don't have to invite everyone who is travelling. 90% of our guest list is from OOT as well so like you, we would be having a second wedding reception if we did that! We limited to immediate family, bridal party and their spouses/SOs, and aunts and uncles.

5. Also, the groom's parent are suppose to host it? Is it poor etiquette if the bride and groom host the rehearsal dinner?

It isn't poor etiquette. If your FH's parents offer to host, that's great. If not, you can host, or someone else can.

6. Do you have to send formal paper invites for the rehearsal and dinner afterwards?

Nope! You can do word of mouth, or even do evites.

1. Our officiant is attending so we can get our wine unity ceremony down correctly.

2. Mine starts at 5pm and we probably wont eat until around 6 or so, I don't think it's way too late.

3. We are.

4. Invite parents and siblings.

5. My FMIL is hosting

6. We are just calling and telling those invited when and where.

1. Does the officiant need to attend your wedding rehearsal if you have a wedding coordinator?

-No, but we're inviting ours anyway.

2. Is 6:15pm too late in the evening to hold a rehearsal?

-Nope! I think that's a good time! After work for most people, there's no need for someone to take time off for a rehearsal (that isn't the bride and groom)

3. For the rehearsal dinner, do you also invite the significant others of the groomsmen and bridesmaid?

-Absolutely

4. Who else should be invited apart from the BP members? My friend said you should invite anyone who has traveled to attend the wedding but for us that would be everybody!

-That is an old tradition. You invite everyone in the BP and their dates, and usually immediate family. We're going to open a tab at a restaurant for my OOT family for dinner that night, but they're not coming to the rehearsal.

5. Also, the groom's parent are suppose to host it? Is it poor etiquette if the bride and groom host the rehearsal dinner? My friend had people pay for their own food at her rehearsal dinner but I didn't like this idea for our rehearsal dinner.

-your friend was tacky. Its also old school the grooms parents host. Its nice if they offer, but don't expect it - you really should host it

6. Do you have to send formal paper invites for the rehearsal and dinner afterwards?

No, you don't have to. It can be informal

1. Yes, but they may not come. It's a nice gesture to invite them.

2. I actually prefer them later, it gives people time to get there from work if necessary.

3. Yes, you should invite SOs.

4. Anyone who is participating in the wedding, so BP and spouses, parents and siblings if they are not in the BP, and anyone doing a reading. Basically, anyone who needs to "rehearse"

5. You can definitely host it. Please do not make people pay for their own dinners. It can be very casual.

6. Word of mouth or e-vite is fine!

In regards to the officiant, I think this depends on what type of ceremony you are having. If it is simple, non-denominational, and straight forward then they probably don't need to be there. We are having a Greek Orthodox ceremony which is longer and has more components than a standard non-religious ceremony, so our priest directs the majority of the rehearsal. The DOC will be there to assist with wedding party line-up order, processional/recessional timing/pace, RB/FG practice, etc. Talk to your officiant and see what they typically do.

I would definitely invite the significant others of your bridal party and both of your immediate families. Beyond that, it's really at your discretion/budget. We are inviting out of town family but not out of town friends.

We sent out invitations but e-vite or call/text is fine. You really just want to know how many people are coming so you can accommodate everyone space/budget-wise. It's ok to have people pay for their own liquor but definitely not their own food. It doesn't need to be fancy!

1. Mine will be. He is our pastor, but has not performed a lot of weddings. And we're doing some things non-traditional in the order; It will be as much a run-through for him as everybody else. It depends on what is needed. If you're not actually running through the order of the ceremony, then it wouldn't be necessary. I feel like this is a good thing to do though, unless you're only having a super short ceremony that there's not much to mess up in. ;-)

2. Nope. Mine will be around 6:00 to accommodate work schedules. Dinner will be late though, so eat first so you don't faint.

3. I am. I don't expect them all to come, because the venue would be a drive for a couple of them and I'm assuming they wouldn't want to drive separately or sit through the rehearsal. But they will be invited. Most of them are married too, so that's more of a requirement in my mind (always invite the husband/wife since they are a social unit...they can decide whether they want to come or not).

4. I'm inviting out of town family along with BP. It really ends up only being my side, because they're all staying at a hotel 10 minutes away, whereas most of his family lives an hour away, and will just be driving down day of.

5. The groom's parents are supposed to, but if they don't, it's acceptable for you to do it. Don't make your guests pay. My cousin's parents hosted her rehearsal dinner, but her now husband's family is kind of crazy, so there's no way they would've even thought to offer to do such a thing.

6. You don't have to send invites. If you end up just inviting BP, you can just tell them by text/call/email/in person that the rehearsal dinner is here at this time and you can bring your SO. Kind of the same way with out of towners/family, as long as you don't have some group of people or family that you don't want to come that could invite themselves once they find "so and so" was invited.

Since it will end up just being my extended family invited, we're pretty much just using word of mouth to let them know that they're invited, and we'll follow up later to find out if they're coming. It's safe to assume if you do invite out of towners that if they'll be in town that night, they will come. Otherwise, they'd have to find somewhere to eat, so why turn down a free meal. ;-)

1. My Venue actually requires that the officiant be at the rehearsal or you can't have the rehearsal there (kind of weird ik) so ours will be at the rehearsal, along with our venue coordinators.

2. No I think that is an okay time

3. Yes, we are inviting the bridal party's SO's

4. OOT guests if you want them (we have a couple coming) and obviously parents and grandparents and siblings

5. In my case the groom's family is hosting but I don't think it really matters anymore.

6. I made and am sending invites this weekend (because I think they are cute and also our bridal party is bad with dates and times so if they have a paper in front of them with all the info they can't say they didn't know). This is def not necessary though, or you could do e-vites.

1. Yes, it's very helpful, especially if it's a friend or family member who has never officiated before.

2. I don't think so, but think about your audience. Do many of them have kiddos, for example?

3. Yes, you 100% do!

4. Wedding party, officiant, parents, anyone doing a reading/directly involved in the wedding.

5. Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, but that doesn't mean they are obligated to, or that you can't host it!

6. I sent an evite, which worked splendidly.

1. Our officiant RAN our rehearsal. (Religious ceremony)

2. Nope. I think ours was at 6:00.

Dinner at 7:30. 3. Yes. Please. Especially if they've travelled to be at the wedding.

4. We had all out of town guests but that's not a "requirement".

5. We hosted it.

6. Nope. We used email and text.