Questioning Bridesmaids Intentions for My Wedding

Girl, your wedding is in NOVEMBER. She has plenty of time. She knows when your wedding is and will have her stuff by then, this is not something you need to micromanage.

The DB consultants always give a ridiculously long timeline. Their dresses usually come in around 3-4 weeks. It honestly makes perfect sense why this woman hasn't bought a dress yet given everything that is going on. Just leave it be and let her buy the dress when she's ready. There isn't much pre-planning to bridesmaid dress shopping either. You go in, try on a few, and pick one. I've never heard of bridesmaid dress shopping trips being more than 1 trip.

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Oh I totally know that DB always give super long lead times, and the dress usually only take a few weeks to come in, but sometimes they are that long - one of my girls ordered her dress in December and the dress just came in on Sunday this past weekend, so that's 4 months..

Wow, she DOES have a lot on her plate. I would simply decide to give her the gift of not bugging her about this. In all likelihood she will get hers and her daughter's dresses (not sure if her daughter is an adult or not) in time for your wedding. But if she doesn't, then she simply won't stand up in your wedding.

I realize that would be disappointing, but it's more important to preserve the friendship by supporting her through the new baby period and her health issue than it is to worry about a dress. You will reduce stress on yourself and her if you choose to take this off your to do list.

If she had a baby less than a month ago, the last thing she wants to do right now is go try on bridesmaid dresses for a wedding that is still 7 months away!

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Thank you for the actual advice Sorry! I should have specified, her daughter is 11. I definitely haven't been harping on her about it by any means, just suggesting a couple times that we should schedule a time to go is all. I just want to make sure that they have the dresses in time, since with her surgery she will be off her feet till at least the end of July.

Maybe you all can look at dresses online one day and pick out a few favorites that she can try on in August. She has a lot going on, just having a baby and getting ready for a major surgery. Her body isn’t the same and newborns are hard. Ordering the dress in early august should be fine, worse case it is rushed for an extra cost. I feel like if I were her and you pushed hard on this, I would say screw it and not be in the wedding.

I say have a heart to heart with your friend. Sympathize with her current situation but tell her that per your bridal consultant at DB that the dress must be picked out and ordered by such and such a date. Explain if this isn’t done then she won’t have a dress in time and won’t be able to be in the wedding. I would also ask if this is maybe a financial burden. Maybe some of the other bridesmaids and you can put together a money pool to help her out seeing how she’s a friend.

If you're close with her daughter could you perhaps offer to take just her to go try on dresses? Take pictures, get lunch and make a whole day of it? Could be a fun bonding experience and the parents might appreciate having one less kid in the house for a few hours lol

I’ve ordered plenty of bridesmaids dresses without going in person to try them on. With everything your friend has going on, I’d send her links of dresses you think she and her daughter would like and offer to order the dresses of their choosing in the sizes they think will best work.


A major surgery and new born? Of course your wedding in November isn’t a priority right now.

There are many posts on the forum explaining why it’s a bad idea to ask anyone to be a bridesmaid before 6 months before the wedding. There is nothing they need to do before that. Everything will work out how it needs to.

Yeah she has a whole life happening right now and your wedding 7 months from now is nowhere near the top of her priority list. You are not only adding stress to yourself but also to her. Ordering her dress in august should be plenty of time and worse case she purchases the sample and has it altered. Let it go and give your friend some space and maybe a helpful hand.

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August or September is plenty of time to order a bridesmaid dress for a November wedding. She had a baby less than a month ago and she has a surgery coming up, just make sure she knows the parameters and let her go shopping on her own timeline.