Question regarding Groom's Father - Help

There no rules here. It's just whatever works best for your family/situation. At the most of the weddings I've attended, the groom hasn't escorted anyone down the aisle. They have either entered at the alter from the side door (at church ceremonies), or they walked down the aisle with their groomsmen. At the few weddings I've seen the groom escort someone down the aisle, it has always been the groom's mother.

Thanks, Cece! I appreciate your response, but perhaps I should have worded it differently:

If the groom's father is divorced and remarried and the groom's grandfather is deceased - who should the groom's father escort down the aisle: His wife or his mother (meaning, the groom's grandmother) ... Hopefully this makes better sense now. :-)

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Sorry for the confusion, everyone - correction to my original post:

Sorry - Typo... Correction below:

Hello,

If the groom's father is divorced from groom's mother and remarried, and the groom's grandfather is deceased, who should the groom's father escort down to the aisle - his wife OR his mother (meaning, groom's grandmother)? There might not be a right or wrong answer, but what are your thoughts in respect to such?

My father-in-law didn't even walk around the aisle. He doesn't like social situations or attention on him so we didn't make him. But I would recommend having your father-in-law walk with his wife. As for grandma, is there another male figure who could walk with him.

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Thank you, Veronica! Well, I guess I should mention that I am the wife, actually... This was already decided by the groom (my husband's son) and his bride - My husband is to walk his mother (groom's grandmother) into the church, and I am to walk by myself along with my sisters in law.... I am a bit surprised, and truthfully a bit hurt and it appears I have to just accept it without being hurt or offended. I am curious to know how other women would feel in my shoes...

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I guess I should mention that I am the wife, actually... This was already decided by the groom (my husband's son) and his bride - My husband is to walk his mother (groom's grandmother) into the church, and I am to walk by myself along with my sisters in law.... I am a bit surprised, and truthfully a bit hurt and it appears I have to just accept it without being hurt or offended. I am curious to know how other women would feel in my shoes...

Ok, this makes more sense! Typically the groom's father would walk his wife down the aisle. I haven't seen any weddings where grandparents were part of the procession - I've just seen grandparents escorted to the front or second row by the usher like everyone else. If you are wanting to make FH's grandmother part of the processional, I would have her escorted by another male member of the family (brother, cousin, uncle, etc.).

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Is there a reason they don't want you walking with your husband? Has your husband said anything on your behalf? I think it's very odd that they are separating the two of you. I have honestly never even seen the grandmothers be part of the processional.

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Thanks, once again - please tell me, would you be hurt by this? I am trying to see if I am being silly for being hurt and (actually, shocked and peeved off) - am I being petty or would everyone else feel the same?

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Oh, how interesting. Is your relationship with the couple a positive one? Does grandma have more sons, or is your husband the only one?

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I have no idea why they specifically stated that my husband was to enter the church being escorted by my mother-in-law (whom I love, truly) and not me. My husband will never say anything on my behalf - he is just accepting of everything... To be honest, I was dumbfounded and I have expressed this to my husband... Would you have been ticked off, as well? I desperately want to know how other women might have reacted to such a scenario... Am I just being silly, and unreasonable by being hurt?

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I must say that I have tried to have a good relationship with them, but after this one (there have been other things that have hurt me) I am done trying, and very close to being done caring... How about my husband have me on his left arm and his mother on his right arm?

Yes, he does have a brother, but who was not able to attend... How would you have reacted?

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I would probably not be too happy either. It doesn't like your husband has your back. Have you had issues with things like this before? Do you get along with his son and the fiancee? Is your husband the only male grandma could possibly walk with? I'm trying to understand their reasoning.

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Ugh. That's such a hard situation. Personally, I would have probably felt a little hurt/left out. But if your relationship with them is a good one, then I would also probably give them the benefit of the doubt that they just wanted the matriarch (grandma) to be part of the processional; and since she doesn't have any other sons to walk her down the aisle, they just defaulted to FH's father. If I am interpreting correctly, it sounds like they did make you part of the processional (walking with your SILs). In which case, it doesn't seem like they were wanting to exclude you - they just didn't include you in the way you would have preferred (ie, walking with your husband). Unfortunately, family doesn't always come in perfect pairs, and sometimes couples have to make hard decisions about who is paired with who, who sits with whom, ect. ect. I definitely understand why you would feel bummed, but I would probably just give the couple the benefit of the doubt that they made decisions based solely on trying to include everybody.

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Thank you, Cece; you are so right!

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Thanks, Veronica. I will just let it go; not worth getting upset over...

I've seen many grandmothers walk in the processional, often escorted by a younger relative if they are widowed, sometimes solo. TBH, I can't see being offended in your place, nor do I think the plan is so unusual, especially if the grandmother could use an arm to lean on. Are the bride's own parents even walking in together? While you see more and more weddings where both parents walk the bride down the aisle, it's traditional for the parents of the bride split up so that the bride is escorted by her father. Besides, it sounds as if you are being honored if you are a part of the processional. I can understand how things like this can sometimes feel as a step-parent, but I honestly don't think there is a right or wrong here.

I would let it go.

That is a difficult decision indeed. What we did in our wedding when faced with a difficult decision was to ask the church for recommendation, thinking the parties involved would more likely to accept a decision by the church than ours. It’s a good thing that my family agreed with the church’s decision. 😊 Although it was sad that my parents couldn't be there, I'm glad we found a solution that respected tradition but also worked for our family.