Question? Do i invite someone to my bridal shower if they already told me they can't come to my wedding?

Yes and yes. Things can change between STD's and invitations. Inviting someone leaves the decision up to them to attend or not.

I invited someone who has another wedding to go to to both the shower and the wedding. She told me after the STD that she couldn't attend, but I couldn't not send her the invitations, it would not had sat well with me. She came to the shower with a fabulous gift!

Yes invite them to the party, but no on the official invitations

Yes and yes.
We had several people let us know after STDs that they couldn't attend the wedding. We still sent them an invitation. The STD is the precursor to the invitation. Just because they can't come doesn't mean they are no longer invited.

Even before the STD one of my mom's friends told her they couldn't come because there's a big car race they go to that weekend every year. I still sent a STD and plan on sending an invite to the shower and wedding.

Wedding invitations serve as a kind of wedding announcement for the people who love and support you and with whom you wish to celebrate your union. It is not necessary to send an invitation, but it would make a nice gesture. If the guests are near enough to possibly celebrate with you on a different date because of a conflict with the date of your wedding, it would be nice to invite them to your shower, but not necessary.

Yes and yes. Things may change and everyone you invite to the shower should also get a wedding invitation, they can formally decline there or maybe plans changed!

View Quoted Comment Don't do this. Everyone invited to a shower must be invited to the wedding. Even if you know they won't be able to make it to the wedding, you let that be their decision to make by still sending the invitation.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this! Why would you feel it’s alright to take a gift from someone who will not be attending your wedding?

View Quoted Comment No, that's not what I said at all. I was quoting someone saying it was Okay to invite them to the shower and not send them a wedding invitation. That's not okay.
As long as they are INVITED to the wedding, it's appropriate to invite them to the shower. It's up to them if they want to decline attending the shower because they don't expect to be able to attend the actual wedding. They might be sad they have to miss the wedding and be absolutely thrilled that they can make it to the shower to celebrate with you. What they decide to do isn't up to you, and that's okay as long as you extend the invitations you've done everything right.

Yes, I would still invite her to both the shower and the wedding. Plans can change.

My sisters son and his finace' planned their wedding in San Franscisco. My sisters family is in Denver and his finace's family is in San Fransico. Wedding invitations were sent to all members of both family. Upon receiving RSVP from my sisters family here in Denver who were unable to attend because they couldn't afford to make the trip, couldn't get time off work, etc., she chose to NOT invite those who could not attend the actual wedding to the bridal shower. My daughter was one of them. Neither she nor I could afford to attend. We both wanted to help celebrate with them. I was invited to the showers, my daughter was not. I was upset my daughter wasn't invited and the rest of my sister and brothers daughters were (we have a family of 12). I walked out of the shower (did bring a gift). Did I exhibit poor etiquette or did my sister?

View Quoted Comment

Nope, the invitations should still be sent. It's fine to invite them to the shower, since they are invited to the wedding.

Worst case, what if they come to the shower, then don't receive at wedding invitation? That would be really rude.

I think it's funny people are still commenting on this lol. My wedding longgggg past. Been married for 3 amazing years now ❤️🥰