Pushy mom

Why would you waste money on empty seats? Send them an invitation like everyone else and let them RSVP yes or no. If they can get a visa and come great! If they RSVP no then you don't save a seat/food etc. for them.

The only cost for you will be sending invitations to Brazil which costs extra with international postage. Or if you or your family plan to visit send the invites with them.

I am courtesy inviting a lot of my family in India even though they cannot come. My parents took invitations with them as a gesture to be aware of my upcoming nuptials.

Moms can be pushy lol. It is normal but start grabbing the reins now. You can invite them but they need to RSVP like any other guest. If they can come great and if not then that is their financial issue not yours.

I agree with Neeva. Send the invitations to your family even though you know they won’t be able to come. This way you don’t have tension with your parents but also don’t have to cut out your friends.

My mom was so pushy at the start! The first month of our engagement, all she could talk about was finding a dress for herself. Constantly showing me dresses for herself. I finally told her that until I found my wedding dress, and chose bridesmaid dress colors, she should plan on being naked. [I bought my wedding dress a month into our engagement and 11 months before the ceremony. I wasn't dragging my feet.]


It seems wrong to invite people you know wont be able to attend, when you have friends you would like to see instead. I feel like they should be able to compromise with you. Let you choose some family that you know better to invite. Or sending them a wedding announcement after the fact.
I guess another option would be to send them invites early with an early RSVP deadline, and then send out normal timed invites to your friends. Confusing and not easy. But a suggestion.

I don't how you would have empty seats. You send them invitations with RSVP cards and they will either reply yes or no then you will know if they can attend.

My mom wanted me to send invitations to her family as a courtesy as well, even to those living in Guatemala. I said no cause we had decided on an intimate wedding of only immediate family. She insisted and said they won’t come, and I still said no. She ended up telling everyone over the phone and it didn’t hurt her despite her constant pushing to send out invites.

View Quoted Comment She wants them on the final guest list no matter what even if they don’t come

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So if you send them an invitation, and they RSVP "No", your mom will still have a seat reserved for them?

View Quoted Comment Pretty much, she’s very stubborn. This is all after I told her my fiancé and I couldn’t afford all of them coming to begin with 😪

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Are you and your fiance paying for it or are your parents?

View Quoted Comment Fiancé and I

View Quoted Comment Yeah no. That's not an option. I would tell her that if they RSVP no then they aren't going to be on the final guest count.

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If it's just you and your fiance paying for it, she has no say in the guest list.