Devoted October 2020

pushy caterer - long post

Waldy, on June 10, 2019 at 1:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
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My FH and I started our catering search mid-May. We emailed the six preferred vendors my venue provided, we got quotes from 4 places. We LOOOVE caterer A, like B and rejected C and D. My FH wants to do a tasting with A before we officially book, but A is not available until July. A told us not to worry about availability because that company is large enough to accommodate up to 6 events in one day. We set up an appointment for July 1. A is in our budget, offers gluten free options for my MOH with Celiac's Disease (that are labeled in the proposal) and offered great menu options for dinner AND dessert.

We liked Caterer B's menu, but it was a bit out of our range. B likes to send emails at least once a week. I've responded to B that we haven't forgotten about them, their prices were out of our range, and that we're setting up a tasting with A. I told B we would reach out again if we wanted them to adjust our proposal. B did it anyway and sent yet another email asking about our thoughts on the updated proposal - it's closer to our budget, but the desserts are meh, that's why we only just like B.

We want to keep B as a sort of 'backup' in case we absolutely hate A's food. I don't think that's likely because of all of the high reviews A has, plus A was on the preferred vendors list for a couple of venues we visited. How do I politely tell B we're not interested right now, but may be if our favorite falls through? I already told B that we're doing a tasting with another company, and I thought that would be enough to make them back down. I also don't want B to resent us in case we hate A's food and decide to get a tasting with B later down the road.


  • Peggy
    Master November 2019
    Peggy ·
    I would just say, we will make a final decision by July 1. There’s nothing they can argue with about that.
  • Sarah
    Super September 2019
    Sarah ·
    I think the issue with this is that B seems to be holding the date for you, and possibly losing other potential clients, while they wait for you to decide. I think it’s fine for them to be out of your price range, but to expect that a vendor is going to wait weeks for you to make a decision while maybe receiving other inquiries is a little too much, IMO.
  • Waldy
    Devoted October 2020
    Waldy ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I see that.
  • Cher Horowitz
    Super December 2019
    Cher Horowitz Online ·

    I agree with PP. Normally I hear about vendors being unresponsive, not too responsive. So this is an interesting case. I feel you need to go ahead and make a decision - all in with A or all in with B!

  • Stephanie
    Devoted November 2020
    Stephanie ·

    I would just let them know that you aren't making a final decision until July and thank them for their time and information they have provided thus far but that you will be in touch should you decide to continue with them.

  • FutureMrsD
    Rockstar July 2019
    FutureMrsD ·

    I would just not respond to B anymore. You've made it clear you are waiting until after the tasting, so I don't think that's rude.

  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    I'd tell them you will make a decision July 5th and let them know then. It's polite and makes the point that if you don't say anything by then they need to let go
  • Soon2Bmrsp
    VIP May 2019
    Soon2Bmrsp ·

    I would just let them know that you are not ready to make a decision right now. I wouldnt tell them anything else, they do not need to know that you are meeting with someone else. They can wait until you are ready

  • Waldy
    Devoted October 2020
    Waldy ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Agreed! I've always heard of not enough communication, not over communication!

  • Waldy
    Devoted October 2020
    Waldy ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I don't want to just ghost B. I've learned the wedding industry is like journalism - everybody talks and everybody knows somebody. So I'm not trying to burn bridges.

  • Waldy
    Devoted October 2020
    Waldy ·

    Thank you to everybody who suggested we tell them we'll make our final decision in early July. After much consideration, we've decided to also set up a tasting with them, since we did like their menu. I'll let you all know how it goes!

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