Push back the wedding?

I know exactly how you feel but I would definitely just take it one step at a time and talk it out with him. You would still be able to make plans. I wouldn't worry too much about it and although it does kind of hurt a little to feel like you'll never get married, it's a nice gesture that he wants to be able to give you what you want and for himself too. Just take it one day at a time and see how it plays out. I'm sure everything will be fine. It is a bit of pressure dealing with something this big sometimes, financially. It affects the both of you. Maybe he just needs a bit more time to feel like you guys won't be drowning, cutting a lot of corners and then things not turning out the way you guys had hoped.

I know you want to be married. I totally get it. We've postponed 3 times. It is not embarrassing to postpone. You just need to notify people if you've sent your invitations. If you two really want to marry, have a private ceremony ( basically an elopement) then have a wedding reception for your first anniversary. Something too think about. I want you two to do what makes you happiest!!

I understand why you wouldn't feel good about it. Please talk about it with your partner

How much is booked, and how much would you lose in deposits if you postponed? Is it false economy?

No go with budget you have now get someone to help you your WeddingWire app help you alot

At four months you're losing a lot of money, most vendors won't give you anything back, some might even want you to pay the full fee cancelling in under six months.
Personally I would be pissed he waited that long to mention it, but I guess call your vendors and see what you'd have to pay. I just don't think it's worth it to waste the money on cancelling to spend it again later.

I don’t think it’s worth losing any deposits to postpone at this point. Go with the budget you have.

I feel like it's way too close to cancel at this point and I could see why it would be embarrassing which is why your FH should have voiced his concerns a lot sooner. If guests have already been informed and vendors have already been booked there's no sense in losing out on that money now. Maybe your partner wants a bigger or grander affair but you guys could always do a vow renewal down the line if it's that important.

I agree with PPs that it may not be worth the money you’ll loose for deposits you have already paid. Some vendors may be willing to push dates and reapply that deposit though, I know my photographer would do that for me, so you can ask. A larger vow renewal in a year or even a few years is an option too.

I completely understand having a tiny budget, we’re trying to stay under $5000 but even that is stretching our resources. I’ve read at least a few dozen articles and blogs on how people had their dream wedding for $1000 or $2000 and Ive concluded that most people have way more friends than I do and very talented friends that are willing and able to do all the things most of us have to hire professionals for like photography, catering, cakes/cupcakes, etc. We are doing a lot ourselves just to cut costs, but I’m also trying to balance how much stress trying to DIY in the days before will cause because some things can’t be done very far in advance.
Make sure you are communicating your concerns and feels to you FH and listening to his concerns and feelings too.

I understand how you feel. I would feel the same if FH wanted to postpone that close to the wedding.

To objectively look at it, think about the following:
- Did you send STDs? If no STDs or invites have been sent, I see no issue with being embarrassed
- How much $ would you be losing for all deposits that have been paid? Would your vendors reschedule? Do the contracts say you owe them 75% or 100% if you cancel 4 months before the date? You have to check your contracts first, because you might be losing more money than you think.
- Are you going into debt for the wedding? If yes, I can understand this being FH’s concern. I would be concerned too, as wedding should not be a reason to go to debt or get a loan etc.
- Do you have any objective reasons to believe that FH wants to postpone for any other reasons besides money? Why is it important to him to have more grand wedding? Usually the brides are the ones who want to spend more & grooms don’t really care that much. If you think there are any other reasons behind this, you should sit down asap & talk honestly about this, how you feel about it, what is going on etc.

I personally think wedding should not be postponed that close to the date, because you want to have more expensive wedding later. If it was for health, unexpected pregnancy & other serious reasons than yes, of course. The purpose of a wedding is for you to get married. That can be done in a courthouse or a public park, for almost free. You could do an intimate ceremony with for ex. 20 of your closest people, where you could pay only for marriage license, officiant, photographer, maybe cake & drinks to celebrate after. Almost everybody can afford that. A wedding like that would still be super meaningful & beautiful, especially if you find a gorgeous park or botanical garden that will charge only $200-300 for the ceremony.

I personally would have a wedding now within my budget. I’m not a fan of postponing weddings to afford a bigger one. I do believe in postponing for other issues to prepare for a better marriage, not wedding.

Without putting all of his business out there- it isn’t so much about having a nicer wedding. My FH has children and he was just hit with a huge child support bomb. He’s afraid that we might not even make the budget we have now.
Luckily my venue (which I was most worried about) is willing to change the date without forfeiting our deposit.
im just hurt that it’s not happening when I thought it would

It’s hard for me to relate to your FH. My FH and I want to be married, having a wedding is just a bonus. It depends on how much you’d lose in deposits, but if it makes sense financially you could do a courthouse wedding and then have a big year anniversary party? I would be pretty skeptical of my FH’s intentions if he threw up a bunch of roadblocks to marriage shortly before the wedding. I hope you figure something out that works for you.

I wanted a wedding to happen right away then I talk to my partner and realized that by waiting we would be able to have the wedding i always wished for and not have to worry about rushing something that we might look back on and wish we did it differently. I'm sorry you going thru this but it's great the the venue is able to change the date. I hope you figure out what will work for you guys.

Another year would give me that much more l want to do and that many more ppl I would invite. Nah. I say just stay with the orginal date. I've wanted another year so bad.