PSA: Serve Alcohol at Your Wedding

SimpleSeamstress- thanks for clarifying that it was Bevmo!

@Ashlee

For beer -

Do you have any breweries around you? Go taster testing styles so you can get a better idea what you'd like to offer your guests.

Lagers are really easy to drink - light and super mild

IPA can be very bitter and heavy (I personally hate IPAs, I think they taste like I'm drinking a christmas tree - but some people LOVE them)

Wits and pale ales are always a safe bet

brown ales are a milder dark - where porters and stouts are the super heavy dark beers

white wine is always a safe bet w/ white meats and seafood and less stains - I drink pinot noir all the time no matter what I'm eating though. ha. I love wine.

I considered having a dry wedding because some of my closest relatives are alcoholics. Their health is more important to me than anyone's desire drink. You demanding to have alcohol available is intense and, honestly, selfish. Some people are really judgmental on here. Everyone is all mad at Midwest May for knocking her FDIL's mom and her likely depression but can't accept that some people have alcoholism to deal with, be it personal or loved ones? Daaaaaaayum ladies. Rude.

MisRed you sound a little judgmental yourself, especially considering many people (including myself) have family members that have suffered from alcoholism. What I'm choosing to do is be a good host to my guests and not put the (highly unwanted) attention my my guest who is a recovering alcoholic.

@Brittany, if you don't tell people who the alcoholics are then no one knows and there isn't unwanted attention.

Why is alcohol necessary? Sure, I'm having alcohol at my wedding because major life events happened and now I can serve alcohol, but my guests would be polite enough to not complain.

Looking at the beginning of this thread, you can't say that some of this veered into rude?

Throwing in my two cents. My friend got married over the summer, I was a BM. They only had open bar for 1 hour, while we were getting pictures done. It was supposed to be open for the bridal party for an additional hour, but the bartenders were dicks and only served for 45 mins. It was such a turn off. FH and I came prepared, we ordered sodas all night for free and filled them with the booze we had in the car in the parking lot.

free booze is part of the party your hosting. I love my friend and agreed to be in the wedding but I can't lie, it kind of sucked to have to pay for booze if we wanted to drink.

MisRed- the person would feel guilty that they were the reason that no one else can drink. Also, you say "sure, I'm having alcohol at my wedding," so think about it- why are you having alcohol at your wedding? Why not save the money if alcohol is not important? When I started this thread (over 2 weeks ago) there were about 5 posts that day about dry & cash weddings that all usually ended with the OP getting upset, so I posted this as a tongue in cheek because it was annoying seeing the same threads over and over again.

And no guest (unless they are completely rude) would ever complain at a wedding. Would you complain to the bride that the food was terrible? Hell no! Would you talk about it with other guests and complain on your drive home? Probably. The point is, you'll have guests that tell you your wedding is amazing and beautiful (which I'm sure it will be), but guests will complain to each other if the food is bad, there's a cash bar, etc.

@Brittany, we're on two different pages I guess. Like I said, major life events. The unfortunate event was alcohol related, but it now allows for alcohol to be available at the wedding.

THAT'S why I'm having alcohol. I'm just remembering a time when it crossed my mind that it wasn't going to be possible to have an important person (actually two important people) in the room and have alcohol. That important person won't be there which means I can have a free bar (the other will have a lot of eyes on him). So I'm saying for the sake of brides that have this problem that maybe we shouldn't all rush to judge her for not having alcohol. It just seems ... unkind.

But I agree with you, be the best host you can be. Sometimes being an awesome host means cutting back the guest list so you can provide beverages of the alcoholic nature. Sometimes it means taking care of people who don't have the control necessary, and definitely not the guilt necessary, to ignore the alcohol.

My mom always said I was too sensitive. I'm sorry to have offended you @Brittany. It's just a subject that hits close to home and I feel like it probably does for other brides as well. But again, sensaaatiiiiiiiive much? Amiright?

Dammit. Repeat posts. My bad!

MisRed- I didn't mean to say anything offensive to you either, so my apologies if I said anything that brought back bad memories. I think we may be two people who have experienced the same thing, and have had two different outcomes because of it. As I mentioned (a million comments ago haha) there are some cases where a dry wedding is necessary. A cash bar is a completely different story though! Haha

As a side note, I'm sorry for whatever tragic thing happened in your past. If it's anything like what I went through (which I have a feeling it is), I hope everything is ok.

Just to clarify, I will definitely judge your cash bar, but at most I'd side eye your dry wedding (unless you have a legitimate reason for doing it, and "saving money" is not one of those reasons haha)

Ooooo cash bars. Hell to the no.

I hope the same for you too!

(Oh my God, did we break the internet by being civil?)

All of this reminds me of being at some good friends wedding that we expected to be open bar...after all they splurged for a rented photbooth for a thousand bucks. We even had to buy our own soft drinks during dinner!!!!. A $300 tab that night, FH and I had a great time. We ended up buying the bride drinks that evening, too but when we got home (3 hours away we lived...expensive wedding weekend for us to attend) We discussed it and immediately said NO to cash bar whenever our time came.

Please respect that not everyone chooses to drink for one reason or another. Whether it's due to being the child of an alcoholic or medical concerns. This is off putting.

@JCloves...I am a vegetarian and I am the one who chose NOT to have a vegetarian option. We are have BBQ type foods, which consists of a lot of dead animals. Not eating meat is my choice not anyone elses. I can always find something to eat no matter where I go. And the same goes for my wedding, there are plenty of non-meat sides that will fill my tummy that day. The same goes for alcohol...you don't want to drink then dont but at least give everyone the option.

Not offering alcohol because some of your relatives are alcoholics is insulting to the other guests AND to them. It insinuates that you have deputized yourself to protect them from themselves, and as a by product, create an event where your other friends can't have a glass of wine.

That makes zero sense to me. And it will make zero sense to them.

Almost no guest will complain TO you at a wedding, but trust me, they will talk plenty.

Oh FFS. I can't believe this is still going, but what Celia said is spot on. It's not my job to take inventory of my guest list and babysit people who might have a problem with alcohol. I'm having an open bar because I want my guests to have a good time. Those who have alcohol use issues can a) choose to stay home from my wedding or b) be adults and take some personal responsibility. THANK YOU, Celia.

It is sad to see so many negative comments about this. I'm having a dry wedding because of my family circumstances. Unfortunately a lot of my family members are alcoholics and become aggressive and violent with alcohol. We have had family gatherings end horribly due to alcohol. My mothers reception was ruined due to drunk family as well. Don't be so insensitive to peoples circumstances and judge them and automatically disregard a beautiful wedding for the absence of alcohol. I've been to several dry wedding and alcohol has never been a factor on how much I enjoyed myself. My favorite thing about a wedding is the love of the couple and the purpose of everyone being there which is to witness the commitment of two people who love each other with their whole hearts. The wedding politics and telling people that there are things that are not acceptable is bull crap. Remember the purpose of the wedding in the first place.

It is sad to see so many negative comments about this. I'm having a dry wedding because of my family circumstances. Unfortunately a lot of my family members are alcoholics and become aggressive and violent with alcohol. We have had family gatherings end horribly due to alcohol. My mothers reception was ruined due to drunk family as well. Don't be so insensitive to peoples circumstances and judge them and automatically disregard a beautiful wedding for the absence of alcohol. I've been to several dry wedding and alcohol has never been a factor on how much I enjoyed myself. My favorite thing about a wedding is the love of the couple and the purpose of everyone being there which is to witness the commitment of two people who love each other with their whole hearts. The wedding politics and telling people that there are things that are not acceptable is bull crap. Remember the purpose of the wedding in the first place.

It is sad to see so many negative comments about this. I'm having a dry wedding because of my family circumstances. Unfortunately a lot of my family members are alcoholics and become aggressive and violent with alcohol. We have had family gatherings end horribly due to alcohol. My mothers reception was ruined due to drunk family as well. Don't be so insensitive to peoples circumstances and judge them and automatically disregard a beautiful wedding for the absence of alcohol. I've been to several dry wedding and alcohol has never been a factor on how much I enjoyed myself. My favorite thing about a wedding is the love of the couple and the purpose of everyone being there which is to witness the commitment of two people who love each other with their whole hearts. The wedding politics and telling people that there are things that are not acceptable is bull crap. Remember the purpose of the wedding in the first place.

It is sad to see so many negative comments about this. I'm having a dry wedding because of my family circumstances. Unfortunately a lot of my family members are alcoholics and become aggressive and violent with alcohol. We have had family gatherings end horribly due to alcohol. My mothers reception was ruined due to drunk family as well. Don't be so insensitive to peoples circumstances and judge them and automatically disregard a beautiful wedding for the absence of alcohol. I've been to several dry wedding and alcohol has never been a factor on how much I enjoyed myself. My favorite thing about a wedding is the love of the couple and the purpose of everyone being there which is to witness the commitment of two people who love each other with their whole hearts. The wedding politics and telling people that there are things that are not acceptable is bull crap. Remember the purpose of the wedding in the first place.