Providing Room and Board for a Wedding Weekend

So they subsidize the common rooms that you want for the whole weekend? No. Not fair. We rented all the rooms in an Inn. Our parents, and us, paid.

No there is no polite way to charge your guests. Either cover all the expenses for everyone or find another venue.

I think it may be a matter of phrasing how you are going to do this. I've been to multiple destination weddings where I've paid for my own lodging, and guests pay for their own hotel rooms at destination weddings all the time. But I have always paid directly to the hotel for my room, not to the couple. This can absolutely be done tactfully as long as it's the hotel/inn/venue that guests are paying directly. It is very common for guests to pay for their own hotel rooms at destination weddings, but not to the bride and groom directly

View Quoted Comment I 100% agree with this. I think it’s ok if guests pay the hotel for their lodging costs, but not to the bride and groom directly. I’m getting married where I live but that’s a destination for most of our family/friends since they live on the other coast. We provided our guests with a hotel room block/discount and information on lodging places and are not paying for lodging. People will pay the hotel directly.

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Agree! Guests that travel for a weekend or week long trip for sure have to and do pay for their room. I have never had a bride and groom cover that cost, even at a family wedding. I am having a DW and my guests book directly with the hotel. I put a hold/block on the rooms they chose.

I would be pretty uncomfortable if the bride and groom asked me to pay them $100. It would be fine to pay a hotel if I wanted to stay there or a restaurant but just paying a flat $100 seems weird since you have to pay the venue regardless for your wedding.

*To get the venue we have to purchase all of the rooms on top of the venue price and wedding fee. And since our wedding got cancelled and we are booking this new venue with less than 90 days till the wedding we are required to pay the price in full.

The test for whether this is fair or not, from a long time manners and social etiquette person, was this: If, in a hotel or Inn, the rooms truly belong to the guest, then they have the right to invite 4-5 people, friends from the area or that they meet at a bar, and have them in their rooms, or the common rooms of the hotel. And except for the actual 5 hours of your wedding, they are free to do anything they want, wherever they want, with whomever they want. And wedding hosts will not plan to use dining rooms or other spaces for things wedding, nor will they be bothered if 30 of their guests have 70 other people around, the evening before, the morning of the wedding, or the next morning. Because you paid for rooms and a presumed right to use common spaces, courtesy vans, whatever. So not attending wedding, and kids, can come too. Just not wedding and reception, though as hotel or Inn guests they may eat in the dining room. Truly, guests have rights, guest pays.
The other situation, a resort, Inn, hotel wing or block: like a house party. The guests are limited to those invited to the wedding. Guests cannot bring friends, mire family along for the weekend. They cannot have friends from the area in. Wedding events take over the whole dining space, lounges or lobby, use of courtesy vans, for the wedding. And guests are expected to participate in offered wedding events. No going sight seeing, or having friends over, when couple is having a welcome dinner. Any shower or bach event, or RD, you go if invited.
These rules are like a wedding in a wealthy home or aristocratic house One event, controlled by the hosts, all weekend. No outsiders , guests or drinking buddies of guests, only invited guests of the host may be there. Then, host should pay for the entire place. Individual guests have lost rights to all public space, their own schedule, menues, and are limited in who they invite in. Host controls, host pays. This Newport place sounds like it will be exclusively reserved and controlled by the wedding hosts. No others. The price of that, is hosts renting the whole place.

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Well in that case, I think you'll need to find a way to work with the venue to have guests pay the venue directly for their rooms