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Just Said Yes August 2025

Proposal anxiety - help

Chloe, on July 10, 2024 at 6:09 AM Posted in Fitness and Health 0 5
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Looking for kind words or advice!


I'm 99% sure the proposal is happening on Saturday - we do have a date and venue booked already, very much on the same page. Mildly untraditional 😂.
That being said, I'm all of a sudden SO anxious about the proposal, but only because I'm terrified of what I will look like in photos/videos. In my late 20s I gained a significant amount of weight on a medication and have never been able to lose it, nor have I fully accepted my new body.
I absolutely hate pictures and videos of myself. Seeing them gives me the ickiest gut feeling of shame, and I'm working with my therapist on this. I'm so afraid that the anxiety about this will ruin my entire vibe for the beautiful weekend we have planned, and ultimately ruin my face when he is on his knee 🥲 I do have a significant amount of trauma from past relationships regarding proposals already, so adding this to it is just making me almost dread the proposal itself. I feel awful that I'm feeling this way and think I'm spiraling.
This man is incredible and makes me feel supported and beautiful, no matter the number on the scale. I'm so excited to be his fiancé and wife. I just know when I look at pictures of the proposal (or engagement photos and wedding photos for that matter) I'm going to be filled with this awful, shameful feeling. Also terrified of wedding dress shopping, but that is an anxiety for a different day. Anyone else go through this?

5 Comments

Latest activity by WeddingME, on February 3, 2025 at 11:23 PM
  • R
    Rosebud ·
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    What a special time in your life! I m sorry you're aren't feeling your best it happens to everyone but love who you right now because you're partner does. Be kind to yourself. Maybe go get your hair or nails do something that you makes you feel good. But more importantly focus more on the joy you feel and that will radiate through your photos. But if your past proposal trauma is really causing you to spiral than talk to your partner and maybe make the proposal something smaller and more intimate. You can write each other sweet notes and share them over dinner and share how excited you are to be engaged and do it in a way that feels good for both of you. If a video of the moment is going to make you beat yourself up don't video it take one or 2 sweet pics together after the proposal and focus on the love. Best wishes to you, enjoy your moment 💜💜💜

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  • Rikki
    Savvy June 2025
    Rikki ·
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    My fiance and I kind of did it backwards too. We have a venue and the deposit down on it and most of the pre planning down before he officially popped the question to me.
    He had known for a long time that I don't want pictures and that I don't want it to be around people. I didn't want a crowd to form. But I also talked to him and made this clear.
    I have trauma around weddings as my ex left me at the alter, which he knows and was very understanding on me not wanting a big deal. If you have communicated your fears and what you want to feel at ease to your partner, then trust them to do the right thing. Mine took me out all day, we went to the zoo then walked around the beach, before we went to a secluded area of the woods where he asked me. He actually forgot the necklace (I didn't want a ring) and had to pop the question with a pretty rock he found earlier on the beach. I understand struggling with your body as I still do some days (I'm the largest I've ever been in my life) but just focus on you two loving each other and starting a new chapter of this life. You don't need to take pictures if you don't want to. We only have a few selfies from the day, nothing fancy. Just voice your concerns and feelings and express what he can do to make you feel more comfortable on the actual day.
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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    I hope the anticipated proposal has worked out okay. If there was a way that made it work, post back here.

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  • Evelyn
    Beginner March 2020
    Evelyn ·
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    It's completely normal to feel anxious about something as important and emotionally charged as a proposal, especially when photos or videos may capture the moment. You're not alone in these feelings, and it's important to approach them with kindness to yourself.

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  • WeddingME
    WeddingME ·
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    I completely understand how you feel right now. It is very reasonable to be nervous about something as important as a proposal. The good news is that your fiancé already makes you feel beautiful, which is what really important. The images and videos will capture the love and happiness of the moment, rather than the minor details that we frequently fixate on. You are not alone in feeling this way, and it is fantastic that you are working through it with your therapist. Just remember, this is your time to shine, and it will be filled with love, no matter what! 💖

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