proper titles on seating and place cards.

Single = Ms.

Divorced = Ms.

Widowed = Mrs.

That's how I did mine.

Thanks.. thats what i thought

I couldnt think of the proper name for the subject..so i couldnt even google it.

You're not alone--no one knows how to address people these days. The issue is that "Ms." was originally intended to be like Mr., a title for all adult females regardless of marital status. However, it hasn't entirely eliminated Mrs. (although it has pretty much eliminated Miss), so things are confusing.

We actually polled our guests on their preferred titles. The results were:

1. Every single woman preferred to be addressed as Ms.

2. Every divorced woman preferred to be addressed as Ms.

3. Every married woman who had kept her own last name preferred to be addressed as Ms.

(cont.)

4. Among married women who had changed their names, it was all over the map. Some wanted the couple to be addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, because Mrs. Jane Smith would imply they were divorced. Some wanted the couple to be addressed as Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith, because the other alternative struck them as sexist. There really is no alternative that is going to please all married couples, short of either using the more informal John and Jane Smith, or polling your potential guests.

We didn't have any widows. But I suspect you'd get the same division there, among those who prefer Ms., those who prefer Mrs. John Smith, and those who prefer Mrs. Jane Smith.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here and suggest that place cards aren't as formal and you could probably just go with first and last name if you aren't completely sure about a specific person's title.

To go along with the advice of 2d bride though, you may just want to take note of how people address themselves (ie if you've received a card with their signature on it) or you could simply ask them how they prefer to be addressed. If there are a lot of people you are unsure about, ask friends and family for help. For example, you could ask your parents how they think you should address their siblings and parents(your aunts, uncles and grandparents).

I might just keep it informal.. or just address everyone by MS. if they are single/divorced. and Mrs. if they are married.

There are a few widowers coming, I addressed their invites as "Jane Smith" because at tthe time i didnt know what to put, and i had a tight deadline.

I dont think anyone attending will be offended if the wrong title is used...I personally HATED being called Miss, it always made me feel like I was kid. Now I get the opposite with MAM..even worse.