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Beginner May 2014

Program Attendants in addition to Bridesmaids; Etiquette?

Madison, on April 9, 2014 at 3:12 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 3

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So, I asked two of my friends to be program attendants a couple of weeks ago. My reason for doing so was that we weren't very close when I first got engaged, so they weren't in my bridal party, but since then they have become such good friends that I wanted them to be included but not be last-minute bridesmaids. So I asked them to hand out programs before the ceremony and welcome people to be part of the wedding.

Now I'm questioning my decision, however. I'm not going to change my mind, but I just want to make sure I'm helping them feel included. For example, I want them to stay with us the night before the wedding (me, my bridesmaids, and some other people), but I don't want them to feel "lesser" because they're not a bridesmaid. Does that make sense?

I also want to get them a gift, but would it be discriminatory for their gifts to be different from the bridesmaid gifts?

Thanks guys!

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on April 9, 2014 at 3:31 PM

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Julia Beth · on April 9, 2014 at 3:15 PM
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I never knew there was such a thing as a program attendant! It's really sweet that you're finding ways to involve them. I don't think it would be wrong to get them a gift that is different (or even smaller) than your bridesmaids. I'm sure these girls would not be offended, since you say yourself that you haven't known them very long. I'd think they would just be honored to be included and thought of - it's not like they ever thought they'd be bridesmaids and were disappointed to be left out.
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Super September 2015
BostonBride · on April 9, 2014 at 3:25 PM
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I was thinking of having my 12 year old cousin do this! I don't want her to feel left out.
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Ashley · on April 9, 2014 at 3:31 PM
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We are doing the same but my fiance has referred to them as "usherettes." LOL I had never heard of the term before. Anyway, we have 2 ushers (my FH's cousin and BIL) who will be escorting people to their seats and he wanted his 2 female cousins included in our wedding because they were very close growing up. He asked me if they could be my bridesmaids and I told him no so instead I suggested that they could hand out programs before the ceremony. I think it is perfectly okay to get them a different gift then your bridesmaids, I am. I am also not giving my bridesmaids exactly the same gift.
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