Professional officiant versus a family friend?

I’m having a family friend do mine.

I just think 💭 that it makes it more special and personal.

My cousin is marrying us!

If you have a family friend want to marry you and seems like a good fit for your ceremony I think that would be really nice. It’s super personal and you have a lot of input on the content of the ceremony.

I normally am very against hiring "friendors" but in the case of the officiant I think it is totally different.

We asked our friend to officiate our wedding and it was amazing. We didn't like the idea of a stranger doing it when we had someone who could do it that actually knew us and wanted the best for us.

It went so well and it was very special to us to have him perform the ceremony,

I would only have a non-professional do it if they are very, and I mean very comfortable with public speaking, have experience and have done weddings before. Make sure they are super reliable. I know people think it's no big deal but it's not as easy as it looks - that's why there are professionals. If they meet the criteria, then go for it! Please give them a special gift if you're not paying them as a thank you.

I'm having a family friend marry us. Our wedding will be the 3rd he has officiated and I wrote out our entire ceremony. In ways to cut costs we went with our family friend rather than paying $600+ for an officiant.

We had one of H's best friends do our ceremony. Let me tell you, it was one of the best, if not the best done ceremonies I have ever been to. People are still asking me about certain aspects of it. He made it such a great combination of humor and romance, and since he knew us it was so personal, for me it was the best part of my wedding. I did not heed the over and over warnings on this forum not to use a "friendor" and I am so happy with my experience. I would say go with the family friend that you feel closest to. Good Luck!

View Quoted Comment I totally agree with this. My FH and I are both Jewish but not super religious. We were having trouble finding an officiant so my brother is getting ordained just to do our wedding! He will incorporate all the cultural elements we care about, we get to fully write our own ceremony (he’ll be adding a piece of his own), we don’t have to pay him (we’ll get him a gift of course), and it’s much more meaningful to have someone who is important to us to officiate!

I get so excited when I learn about couples who want their friends to marry them!

The two friends who introduced me and my husband married us. The thought of a stranger up there just didn't appeal to us. It was such a special and personal moment and we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Both our friends were super nervous (they're not fans of public speaking), but they did beautifully and their surprise section of the ceremony was so moving and personal.

I also married my good friends and it was such an awesome experience to be part of their wedding in that special way. It made that moment so much more personal for them. I was so nervous (also not a fan of public speaking) and it went perfectly and they were so happy!

I highly recommend having a friend(s) marry you two! Just make sure they are reliable people.

We hired a professional. I originally wanted to have my brother do it to save cost but my dad was against it and wanted a professional. I have to say that I am happy I went this route, I recently went to a wedding where they had one of their brothers do it and I felt it was an awkward ceremony. The officiant (their brother) made it a lot about himself, talked a lot about how hot he was in his suit and at the part where they were supposed to kiss, he didn't say anything so they just stood there in silence for a weird minute and them he like mumbled under his breath, "Kiss" to the couple. And then that was it lol. I am glad my officiant knows the ropes and knows what to do so I am confident she won't make it awkward lol.

In addition to what others have said, please make sure that a wedding officiated by a friend who is not a minister, judge, etc. is valid. Some states don't recognize such marriages at all. In some, the issue has not yet come up in court, so the status is unknown (meaning you might find out decades later, after death for example, that you were never really married--and by then it would be too late to do anything about it).

If online ordinations aren't recognized in your state, you might look at other alternatives. For example, some states have an "officiant for a day" program. Others allow a self-uniting marriage, which doesn't require a legal officiant at all. But whatever you do, make sure it is legal. You're spending enough on the wedding, don't save on a small expense at the cost of undermining the essential purpose.

I went with a professional so that I would not have to worry about things being done properly, the license being filed correctly, etc. This person really does have the most important job the day of the wedding. If the photographer or DJ screws up, yeah it sucks, but you will still be married. The officiant really does have the most responsibility.

As long as they are professional with showing up I’d say go for it. Long family friend officiates on the side so it we asked him. It makes it much more personal and special on my opinion

We asked a good friend of ours to do. He is going to get ordained to do our ceremony and it should be great. We didn't really want a random stranger as our officiant and neither of us are religious. I also think it is more personal and meaningful. But I do agree about checking whether your state allows for people ordained online to marry you before going this route.

FH sister is doing ours! I really wanted someone we knew, mostly because I was afraid of an officiant mispronouncing my name over and over! Keep in mind, though, if you have a friend / unprofessional do it, you will have more control over the ceremony, for sure - You'll have ALL of it! I'm very comfortable with essays and writing, so I didn't have a problem writing the entire ceremony, I just honestly didn't think of it until we were about 3 months out, and we were all looking at each other during a planning session, like, "what are we supposed to say...how do we start this thing..." Whoops... It made for some great memories, though, because there were lots of "Dearly Beloved's" being said in silly voices, and uproarious laughter going on about this time.

If you do have a friend or family member (which I do highly recommend) just be aware that most officiants come with a template of what has worked before, and what hasn't, for you to fiddle with, and has an idea of how to order a ceremony. A friend just comes with their hopes, and promises, and cheap price tag! The beauty of this day and age is the wealth of information out there. You can definitely do it, but we realized why people pay a professional for this part along the way.

We are having a family friend who is a very good public speaker do ours. I would not have anyone that would be nervous about doing it.

We had a friend marry us. She is poised and wrote the entire ceremony from scratch. Best decision we made. It was heartfelt and written just for us. We were lasso much more relaxed and comfortable standing up there with her instead of somone we didn’t know. She also knows us very well so everything she spoke on hit home and really made it special.