Problems with best friend/i need to rant

Wow that is horrible! You are being a good person by sticking through this with her. When the time comes for her to leave you will be the person's she's likely to reach out to.
Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about her marrying this asshole.
That being said maybe she wants to be MOH to make sure her asshole fiance doesn't "decide" to demote you from not being her MOH. If he's manipulative and abusive enough to keep her away from you he might try to cut you from their wedding as well, it's a lot harder to rid a MOH especially if your friend is your MOH too. Her making a big deal out of it might be an early sign she knows her husband is dangerous.

From your post it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Your friend sounds like she’s in a bad spot with this relationship. Do you have a relationship with her family where you might be able to help her realize this before she gets married? (Might be worth looking into local resources that help women in bad situations). Otherwise just stay by your friend and make sure she knows to can come to you.

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I believe that she does know. She is very slow to make up her mind and really has no interest in planning this wedding. I think that she is settling because all of the people we went to school with are getting married, have kids, or are in a dedicated relationship.

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Yes. Her family is like my family. Her mom is like a second mom to me. We have all tried to sit her down and talk to her. It was almost like an intervention. Unfortunately, all she can say is "I hear you but I am going to do what I want". So I have backed off trying to stop her and have just tried to soak up all the time I can with her and show her what she is missing in life.

This is really horrible. Only issue is you can tell your friend all you want that she is in a horrible relationship... But, she will NOT get out until she is READY. Unfortunately it may be after she is married... but, that is her adult decision. It would really suck if her FH kept her from attending your wedding... & it sucks that your FH and her FH are not invited to each others weddings as well. That makes things all that more difficult. I hope things get figured out soon. & I hope she gets on board with this "Matron of Honor" deal. Because it is Just as important as a maid of honor. The only difference like you said she is married and your sister is not. Abusive relationships can ruin a bunch of relationships in itself. Not just their own. I hope she doesn't push you away after she gets married. I fear that she will need you the most as her FH may become even more abusive and controlling.

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I know that is what I have to keep reminding myself. We all have our wake up moment at some point and time. That is why I am trying to stick around her for as long as I am allowed. Sometimes I just have to force her to spend time with me, but once she does her phone goes down and we have a good time.

You are a great friend to stick by her through all of this! It's always a blessing to know someone is always there in the good and bad times.

Unfortunately (like the others have said), she won't leave until she actually sees how terrible the relationship is. Luckily, I started my terrible relationship in high school and ended it in college. We were together for 3.5 years. It was toxic, but not as toxic as your friend's. I'm not really sure what clicked in my brain to make me leave, but I am so thankful it did because he admitted to wanting to propose 1/2 a year after (4 year anniversary). I hope she realizes and leaves before she gets seriously hurt. Otherwise, stick to what you are doing. Even when he tries to push you away from her, stay close.

You're doing the best you can, but sadly some people don't want to help themselves. Your friend is an adult able to make her own decisions, so unfortunately there's not much more you can do. Try taking a few steps back and decide whether or not to continue such a close friendship with her. Hope everything works out for the best

What does it mean for your friendship if she doesn't come to your wedding?
I mean at that point her new husband will be affecting your life and not just hers.

Honestly, if she is hung up on the title, I would probably just appease her and say they'll both be maid of honor instead of her being matron of honor. It's literally the same thing except that she is married, but she doesn't seem to understand that, so I wouldn't worry about it. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like there's much you can do about her relationship because she's not ready to admit the truth to herself. I just hope she can still come to your wedding and that she realizes she needs to leave ASAP.

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Thank you. It is tough but I am trying my best. All of her friends and family are. It has just been a sad process.

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I guess it means that she has lost all of her independence and we will no longer be friends until she needs me.