Hi guys! I need some other people's advice on this: Is sneaking out during the cocktail hour after pictures for 30 mins to catch a private meal with my new husband rude?
I had seen this idea floating around on the internet and thought it was great. I am a bit more introverted, so having a quick 30 min. alone with my partner to take it all in and ensure we get some food in our stomachs seemed like a great idea before going out to see all my guests. So I was going to have a 30 min. ceremony, stay behind for 15 minutes to see the guests to the cocktail hour, slip away for all the family photos and couples photos for 1 hr, and then have the 30 min meal. During the cocktail hour, provide hordervs, drinks, music, and games for all the guests before having them move into the ceremony and then reappear after entrances. I figured I would get a lot of my socialization done during dinner, and then provide some more wedding games during the dinner that are more bridal party focused.
My mom is an event planner and my parents are paying for most of the wedding, so I have been running a lot of my ideas by her. I was going over some photography pricing and talking about the schedule that I had briefly made up on the fly to talk to photographers. When I mentioned the private meal, she immediately said I should not do that and that it was incredibly rude to my guests that traveled all the way to see us. She said that if I get overwhelmed by large crowds, I shouldn't be having a wedding at all. That those guests are there to see you, and that they will be insanely bored and grumpy. She said that I should take no more than 5 minutes to drink it all in, take 30 mins for pictures, and then go mingle.
I can understand now that the people who can't stay for the reception, I will have missed those guests completely. And I can understand the importance of making an appearance at the cocktail party. But my fiance and I don't see sneaking off to eat quickly is rude. I think it would be more rude to be starving at your guests during the reception and be snappy at them while I am trying to eat. I have been to weddings where the bride and groom get so busy socializing that don't even get to try their own cake or eat a meal!
Can I please get some advice? Thanks!