Private ceremony VS a big blow out

I have a very large family (about 100 people total for both sides) and there is no way I can afford to have that many people plus all of my friends and friends' families at my wedding. So I'm just having my wedding with 60 guests, which includes my immediate family, my FH's immediate family, the bridal party, and then our close friends. I've invited 2 of my best friends' families since I'm a lot closer to them than I am to most of my family. It was a tough decision but I've decided that most of my family wouldn't have come anyway.

At first I struggled with my decision but after hearing other stories on this site, I didn't feel so bad.

I know your family would understand. But something you do is take a vacation sometime in the future to Texas and have a big family/friend/second reception get-together. That way you could still celebrate your union with your fiancee's friends and family even if it is a little later.

We are having a big wedding. well i think it is big for us. we are having like 200 guest. we are doing it because he is the 1st child in his family to get married and i'm the 1st girl in my family. we had 2nd toughts after we went into escrow on our 1st house but we only have $900 left to pay and our wedding will be paid for. plus we have all the for our house so it works out well. i made sure to plan well and look for lot of bargins. sorry if i mispelled lots of thing but i'm typinh with one hand. you should do what feels right for you & your FH. good luck

We are having a relatively small wedding coming it at 50 guest including us and the wedding party. However we are having a very elaborate wedding. We have a ballroom rented out for the reception and the chapel is right next to the reception hall. While we are doing all of this we did get an amazing deal and thanks to our friends and family we didn't have to pay for the wedding, reception, honeymoon, DJ, photography, or a specialty drink created just for us that will be handed out during the cocktail hour. My parents used their casino points to pay for a portion of the wedding and reception. My mom used her air and hotel miles to pay for the honeymoon. One of my friends is a DJ and his gift to us is DJing our wedding. We won a contest to win our photography for the wedding and I have a friend who is a licensed mixologist who is creating the signature drink for the reception.

We're having I guess a medium sized wedding. About 125 people. I wanted something smaller but my fiance has a large family that he wants there. I would have liked for it to be more intimate with only family and friends that we're close to and couldn't imagine getting married without them being there, but oh well. Its still kinda small. I only have one side of my family invited but he has both because he's close to both. I would like to cut it down but them I'm feeling pressure to invite more. But I'm not budging on the amount of space we're renting so 125 is the absolute max.

We're having a small wedding followed by a larger reception. Our wedding venue (a castle!) limits the number of people we can have on the grounds to 50, including the minister and the wedding party. To avoid the drama of who should come to the ceremony, we limited it to our parents and our children. The rest of families and friends are invited to the reception.

To us I guess we are havign the small ceremony but a big blow out party. we started off wanting a provate ceremoney but as we went over the list of who we wanted there the list was ok, but then people started saying they wanted to be there so we decided on a very relaxed, everyone just gather around 10 min ceremony. so far the guest list is at 180 or so. We kept the decor and food simple so our total cost is going to be about 8K

Our wedding is going to be 55 people (including us, wedding party, etc.), which I think is perfect. I nearly had a fit when people were trying to tack on people to the guest list last fall, but fortunately, most of the "additions" aren't coming. For me it would not be fun to be at too large a gathering because I wouldn't be able to really talk with anyone or sit down and enjoy anything because I'd be too busy needing to make polite conversation with some people I don't really know. Think about it. At a four hour reception, if you have 240 guests, you will be able to talk with each one for about a minute. Since most people will at least want to say hello (you are the bride and the center of attention), you'll spend the entire time making small talk ! To me, that sounded awful. So we made ours a full day event (at a park), and so I'll have 8 hours to touch base with the 50 or so people who will be wanting to say hello to me. 10 times more time for me, my spouse, and my guests.

Ours started out non-private, but soon turned to private wedding and reception. Both of our ex's made threats to "destroy" our wedding, so we have made a very detailed guest list and made it very clear that if their name was not on the list, they would not be able to come into the wedding or the reception. Our guest list is at about 70 peple right now, mostly my side. I have huge family, and my FH doesn't. No seconds thoughts about this.

I am having a big wedding, but doing it pretty cheap...

maybe you guys can have big potluck parties, open invitation, after the wedding/honeymoon that way you can still see your other family, and maybe even get the gifts... you could even do one for the family in texas. that way both sides get to see you and if its potluck you wont have to pay for food :]

We have a very large family about 200+ altogether plus if we have a big wedding i have too include the friends that we see almost like family. So our plan is too have a big wedding but i do have second thoughts about it considering it will be expensive. But if we do continue with our plan we will do whatever too save as much money as possible but still formal and elegant.

That's another reason we are planning on a private wedding cuz of crazy ex's.

But we are planning on having a huge BBQ reception blowout in Texas and California later on. It seems like it's gonna cost more, but it's going to be a casual BBQ so really it's going to be cheaper.

I have since changed my plans. My mom and sister mentioned having a JP ceremony with my parents and bridal party as witnesses and then doing a big reception so all my family and friends can come. It was a great idea! My FH would prefer just doing a JP ceremony and foregoing the reception but he knows that I want the reception. He gets his JP ceremony and I get my big reception. Now I can invite all 122 guests and have still been able to cut my budget to $3000-$3500 from $6400. It is crazy how much money I am saving by simply doing a private ceremony. I'm sure not everyone will understand but they will get over it. Since my FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, we might even be able to move up our wedding date! It is schedule for April 2011 but it could be as early as 10/2010 now.

My hubby and I had a private ceremony just the 2 of us and a dinner for 2 after. I don't regret my choice at all, but if you go with a private ceremony and dinner for 2 and decided to have something larger later, it's what we're doing. Good luck and congratulations on your Wedding

We are having a HUGE wedding (and when I mean huge, I mean we sent out save the dates to 235 people and realized we forgot some important others!!!) We are having our Ceremony in my FI's familys church; it will be a Christian ceremony (which was alot to handle for my mom who thought as a Catholic I would be getting married in a Catholic church. At one point before she realized that our Christian wedding would be recognized by the Catholic church we were going to have a separate Catholic ceremony). The reception is about 20 minutes from the church in a hotel and most of our guests (besides some) will be in the area already. I have had some second thoughts about my choices (well they were not all technically mine, my mother has pretty much taken over). The wedding has gotten TOO big and there are too many people with opinions and special wants and needs involved. I have begun to feel that my wedding isnt so much about my FI and I getting MARRIED but about our parents and what they want.

My Husband and I had a VERY small wedding. We rented a cabin on 3 acres of land on the side of a hill. Scheduled an Officiant to come to the cabin on Saturday morning and we we had a tiny ceremony with the 3 of us and our two dogs. I am from MN and he is from AR so we are having a bigger wedding in the fall. But the ceremony was AMAZING! I wore jeans and a white Patagonia jacket and he had on jeans and a black NorthFace jacket. We were relaxed and excited. We spent the rest of the day at local vineyards wine tasting!

For us the small wedding was VERY MUCH our style! We are having a bigger one this fall for the families.

Having a big blowout. I am really close to all of my family. I even used to hang out with my second cousins all the time. My FH comes from sort of a broken family. His parents never split up, but aunts wont talk to his family, grandparents want nothing to do with him, and so forth.My family has a lot of friends and coming from a small town, everyone you know you are really close with. So, 254 people invited... only 150 are coming (it is around graduation time). probably close to 100 of those people are just my family. All my family lives in the same area so it is relatively cheap for all of them to come.. Almost all of his family is in Ohio, so it doesn't take them too long to get up to the northwest section. I do not have second thoughts at all. I know too many people and have so many people that mean so much to me. I wouldn't have my special day without them all there. At least mine is small compared to my brother's wedding. can we say 350 guests? (mostly family) OUCH!

When we started planning our wedding our guest list was no more than 80 people, But as the days when by we started adding more and more names to the list and now we have about a little over 200 people.

I Hope stops growing there.So I guess we are having a big reception.

I found I had a similar problem. And when looking at venues and such I just fell apart. I knew we couldn't afford it... neither could my parents or his. So my MOH talked me through it and said "Just think like you're eloping." It worked. Suddenly, all the stress of having a huge wedding was lifted. We are getting married with our immediate families and grandparents and a couple very close friends. We'll have a small celebration afterwards with those people. And we'll send announcements to everyone else.

I don't regret my decision at all. In changing my outlook towards our wedding, there was this incredible lift inside me... and now I can't imagine doing anything different. Keeping the guest list so exclusive helps keep people from feeling left out... because they're all in good company. People understand... which was an amazing revelation for me. I didn't want to offend anyone... so I'm taking the chance that offending everyone equally will work out better!

As long as both your FH and yourself agree then do it. It's about you guys, not the family :o)

Private is better and less best! I wish I had did the private thing!