Priest vs officiant

Typically a priest will never marry outside the church. If they do I don't believe it's recognized by the church. So you may be legally married but not holy married if that makes sense.

Is he a Catholic priest? If he is Catholic then usually you would have to get permission from the Church to bring a priest from a different church in. And if he is Catholic then it is unlikely he would perform the ceremony if it's not in a church. Have you told him it's not in a church? He could be assuming that you are marrying in a church in NY and that's why he said he would need to ask for permission.

The Catholic church is very strict and will only make exceptions in very rare circumstances (like doing it in a hospital if someone is very ill). Does your FMIL know that you are not getting married in a church? Is he not a Catholic priest?

Yes he is a Catholic priest. And he knows we are

not getting married in a Church.. my future mother in law is doing this and I have been asking updates on how is going and the priest trying to figure it out..

A Catholic priest will very very rarely do a ceremony outside a church.

Your ceremony is your ceremony; not your FMIL's. What do YOU want?

That's what I thought.. but since I was not sure I let her do it.. I don't mind the priest and will be also free of charge ( Will just pay for the

Dinner) it's just matter of me knowing . Cause if not possible I have to look for an officiat.

I guess then my mother in law to be is taken care of that.. as she did not mention anything

Why would your mother in law cover costs? Just because she's the in between person I wouldn't assume she was covering travel or the church donations.

And I doubt he will get permission to do a sacrament outside of a physical church. So if you do want him to perform the ceremony I'd ask the local Catholic Church if he could come in and perform there.

@Elphaba: we are not SO Catholic. Reason why we are not doing in a church cause our family leaves way far from each other and would have been very difficult to manage. The only reason why we are doing so is because mother in law put it out there and taken care of.. but now there is issue of permission that all of you are referring to..

Only him.. venue is beautiful.. I have the ballroom for reception and then I have the chapel with the view of the lake

He will need permission to do an out-of-state wedding. My Godmother who is a minister in NY will be our officiant in VA. She had to get permission and fill out forms, etc.

I am Catholic marrying an unbaptised person which allows for us to request dispensation for the wedding to take place in a location other than a church. Your priest will need you to have the dispensation for location and marrying a non-baptised person completed by the diocese you are marrying in. Its basic common courtesy. A visiting priest needs to follow the directives of the diocese they are marrying you in, not their own church.

My daughter is getting married in IL but lives in Wisconsin. They will go through pre Cana and marriage prep in their church in WI, then that church will give permission to the IL church to perform the marriage. The WI church will verify that all requirements have been met to have a sacramental marriage. It is rare, and I believe requires the approval of the bishop, to have a priest marry anyone outside of the church at a venue that is not consecrated.

Thank you all.. I will now further discuss with my mother in law and give all these inputs I have received to see what's next step.. it helped for sure to better understand..

@ OliviaP. That's easy!!! Lol:p

@Wed18, yes you do need permission from the bishop who I am sure doesn't really make the decision, he probably delegates it. Pretty much the only justification is family harmony. That is, the non-Catholic's family will be uncomfortable in a church.

A Catholic priest can and will do weddings outside a church. It all depends on the Diocese and its rules. I manage a Catholic Church..it happens often. Not every wedding is approved.

Having a Catholic wedding is kind of a big deal, and it really should be an intentional choice made by the couple, not an, "I don't mind it and it'll be free" choice. If this can even happen, you'll have to do pre cana, and part of that is that you have to state that you'll raise your children Catholic. It would seem like a decision that would take more thought than "my FMIL wants it".

@ Sarah, I find that interesting (I"m not being snarky, honestly) because it literally never happens with the priests here. There are a lot of 'used to be a priest' guys who SAY they are priests, but whatever they do, it's not a recognized sacrament.

(for the record, these human made rules seem capricious to me, but if you're going to be Catholic, be Catholic. It's a little more complicated than just having a guy show up at the venue. Which is lovely, by the way...)

@Celia It used to be taboo here but not anymore. I'd say 40% of our weddings are held at an outside location. Our Diocese simply requires photos of the wedding area and an explanation of why they want to use it. The Vicar General reviews it and either approves or denies. I've had a few denials with my job.