Prenuptials

I would say it depends how old the son is. If he's little, it may have been an innocent question, maybe he heard the word pre-nup somewhere and is trying to sort out what it means. If he's older, he may just be trying to troll you or even subtly expressing disapproval. Really up to you if it's worth getting offended over.

Other people have talked about it, so it is legit for him tp be curious. You can say it is your private business, but nothing wrong with the question.

Do you think you should be offended? I mean, this isn’t a stranger asking about it. It’s your FH’s son. You know him better than anyone on this forum does.


As for me, I don’t understand why pre-nups offend people. I get that the premise makes it sound like preparing for a divorce, but the truth is nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce (higher if it’s a second or beyond marriage). Better to be prepared, especially if children and potential inheritance is involved.

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Thank you! He is 21 years old, I'm not sure why he is feeling this way, but maybe he is going through something. Thank you for your opinion.

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True. Thank you for your reply.

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I think it's his idea of his father and I potentially getting divorced that I was taken back by. Thank you for your reply.

I'm with you on this! Neither I nor my fiancé will be signing any kind of prenuptial agreement, so I would have personally taken a little bit of offense to this. BUT it wasn't him to question it, it was his son. So I may just laugh about it and mention it to your FH and see what his plans with it are.

I would think the same "why do we need that kind of legal agreement?" when it comes to a prenup. But I know tons of very happy couples who have those agreements and legalities lined up. Of course you don't expect to ever need it, but God forbid you or he does.

I would probably just jokingly bring it up to your fiancé and see where he stands with them!

I would not be offended. Some people are brutally practical and their thinking has no reflection on who they are talking to or what the relationship they have with that person.

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Absolutely! I was taken back so I just wanted to know if this is normal to ask. I know I wouldn't ask because that is no one's business. Thank you for your reply!

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Good point! Thank you for your reply.

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Of course! I would be a little shocked to hear it for the first time from his son either way, even if you didn't mind signing one. That should be something you two discuss with each other if that's his expectation. I would make it a funny "you'll never guess what junior said today!" kind of thing. You're totally normal to ask!

Well, I’d consider him rude for inserting himself into my business, that’s for sure.

Prenups have a time and a place. It provides protection for assets in place before the marriage.
There are a lot of misconceptions about prenups - mainly that they keep people from splitting marital property. For example: if you and your FH get married, buy a house, and down the road get divorced, that house is marital property. A prenup will not mean one person automatically gets the house, that sort of thing.
Full financial disclosure and education is vital, prenup or not. You don’t know what you don’t know.
But I would def give a raised eyebrow and a “why do you want to know?” reply to *anyone* who asked such a personal question, unless it was my lawyer.

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I agree. It was so random and it was asked in front of my FH and F Sister in law. and then he said "well you have assest", and my FH said, "well she does too". It was so awkward. I appreciate your feeback.

It was inappropriate. That's something that should be between you and your spouse.

No. Prenups are a common thing and I don't see a problem with him asking. I doubt it was meant with malicious intent. He just wants to protect his father.

I wouldn't be offended really, but I would probably discuss with my FH that maybe it's not his son's business to be in our financial situation like that. I wonder why he'd ask something like that, like does he have or is he interested in some kind of legal background, is he in school for it and maybe it got brought up in a class or something? I work in the legal field and I did family law for 3 years, so if someone asked me about a prenup it wouldn't offend me. Prenuptial agreements get a really bad wrap because you're "planning for a divorce" but really you're just outlining what your assets are and basically agreeing as to who takes what in the event something doesn't work out. To me, it's smart for couples who have a lot of assets individually.

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I agree that prenuptials are something common, but I didn't feel it was his business to ask. I have my assets and his father has his, so it took me off guard. Thank you for your reply.

Did he ask you or did he ask your FH? I am unclear on whether he said it to you directly, or to your FH and he told you, or just brought it up at the dinner table or something. I think it would be a little weird/rude if he asked you, but if he is asking his dad it may just be a legitimate question as to whether he is taking everything into account. While I agree your finances as a married couple are between you and your husband, as his son I would understand why he may want to make sure his dad is protected and taken care of. I don't know the relationship dynamics enough to comment more. I agree with you that if you both have roughly equal assets going into the marriage, a pre-nup probably isn't necessary. I view it as more relevant when one partner has significantly more assets entering the marriage.

View Quoted Comment At his age, I am sure he has talked with peers about this, and their parents' experience. But it is a fine line. If his Dad on paper keeps in his name certain things, He sees him self as eventual heir, which makes him think he should be concerned. That it doesn't matter until sometime way down the line, and is not his business til that time is a normal thing .

Thank you for all the feedback. Much appreciated