So my FH has a conversation with me last night about a prenup....he called it a "protection agreement" I was confused by what he called it but once he explained what he meant I said "you mean prenup" He said yes but didn't like calling it that. Well that is what it is!
Anyway I was a bit thrown off. I did not know we were doing that or either of us thought that. He told me he said that was one of his "conditions" to getting married he told me about when we first started dating.....9 years ago!!!! of course I don't remember that and honestly after being together for sooooo long without a proposal I thought we were NEVER going to get married.
So with all the stress I am under with planning the wedding and my dress alterations not going well I wasn't very thrilled about this conversation. I sort of took it as an insult to my character. I have never been a greedy vendictitive person. I would NEVER take anything from him that didn't belong to me such as his families house or his vehicles etc. I am also the negative thinker in the relationship. I over analysis and think of the worst case scenario and plan for that still hoping for the positive...I have had ALOT of disappointment in my life and I just like to be prepared in case something goes wrong (backup plan). So with him wanting this prenup (protection agreement) he is planning for the worst which so not like him...he is the extreme optimist, so for him to think about plans for a divorce before we even get married was completely out of left field.
I told him I would sign it and don't care. He wanted to get into details...like we own timeshares together...I would get those he said in the divorce. I just said whatever you feel is appropriate. I really did not want to discuss any of this. I was in a relationship where I lived with the guy and when we broke up I just left everything behind except my clothes. I didn't want anything that reminded me of the relationship. I don't mind signing it, it just feels insulting as to the kind of person I am and my character...that I would NEVER try to get someone for all they have. I have always said my bills are my bills. I don't expect him to pay off my stuff. I would also never take something that didn't belong to me. Things we accumulate together is different. I just feel mistrusted that he needs this "protection agreement". He had an ex (the one he dated before me) that took extreme advantage of him, stole from him, used his credit card etc. I AM NOT HER and would hope after 9 years together he would acknowledge that and know me.
Has anyone else got a prenup? Anyone else feel the way I do? Just with all the stress I am currently under I am having a hard time. I was kind of turned off by him last night. Sort of didn't even want to sleep in the same bed. I also didn't sleep much bc my mind wouldn't stop thinking. I know I am most likely overreacting but needed others opinion and/or experiences. Also have to note that we are not wealthy by any means. I work 2 jobs to pay my bills and he works a regular blue collar job. I know preups are more common with couples who have money or extreme assets. Its not like we have multiple homes.
Ugh I know I am being ridiculous. I am just so overwhelmed and really don't have anyone to talk to about my stresses. I talk to my FH but he just tells me not to worry or stress about this or that....easier said then done!!!!