Prematurely asked friend to be bridesmaid

Just because she doesn't seem excited doesn't mean she really isn't. She doesn't technically have to help with any planning. Although I as a bridesmaid before loved that part. Not everyone does. Just sit down and talk with her. Dont just kick her out

Try talking to her...very honestly.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, every other wedding I've been in I was always a big part of except hers. I don't need help but for example I went wedding dress shopping today and she did not go with me and the others. I should probably just talk to her.

Don’t kick her out just for not being super involved. Kicking her out of your bridal party could ruin your friendship... I wouldn’t do that unless she was actively doing something bad. One of my bridesmaids (been one of my best friends since high school) is happy for me but isn’t really super into helping with wedding stuff because it’s just not her thing, and right upfront when I asked her she even said “you know I’m really not going to be much help right?” And told me she wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t want her to be in the wedding party. I said of course I wanted her to be part of it regardless. I know she’s not a super wedding-y person (she and her bf have been together for years and no doubt they will stay together for life but they have no intention of getting married in the near future if at all... just not her thing) but it is still important to me that she be part of my day and be standing next to me at the ceremony because she is one of my most important friends. Your bridal party isn’t obligated to contribute much, especially if she has also asked you to be part of hers, I would think it would damage your friendship to un-ask her just because she isn’t very into it

It sounds like her experience and expectations around bring a bridesmaid may be different from yours. You said that you weren't super involved in her wedding and I'm guessing that's bc she didn't ask you to be super involved. Her expectation is probably just to be involved day of in the correct outfit, which isn't wrong, just different than your experiences/expectations. I honestly wouldn't even talk to her about this. I would just give her the info she needs to know closer to the wedding, invite her to pre-order wedding events but don't get upset if she chooses not to or just can't come to those events.

My best friend since I was 15 is a bridesmaid in my wedding. Everyone was shocked when I did not ask her to be my maid of honor and ask my great friend of 2 years instead. While I love her and she loves me I knew she would be a horrible MOH she is just not into it. She is not going dress shopping with me. She ask how things are going. I am ok with it she will be there when I need her the most my big day. So don’t be upset with your friend because she not there for all those moments she will be there for the most important one. Talk to her but dont dismiss her because she is not filling that typical BM roll.

I think I’d just let it go. She could have a lot going on with work and family. I had a friend say something about me not caring about her wedding as much as I should have (I wasn’t even a bridesmaid 🙄). But it’s because I work third shift and my days off are in the middle of the week, I was going through a divorce and just bought a house. But she seemed to forget all of that! So it was kind of offensive that she said that I wasn’t involved enough. As long as she’s willing to show up in the proper outfit the day of the wedding I’d keep her 😊.