premarital counseling questions?

Watching this!! FH doesn't want to do actual counseling but is open to the questions....I too would love some ideas!

Don't be nervous. It's fun, and interesting. And really, at this point, nothing should be a surprise. The pastor doesn't want to break you up, they just want to make sure you've talked and the lines of communication are open. They WANT your marriage to succeed. That's the whole point.

We used this notebook as a tool for our weekend long session.

http://hbgmarriageprepplanning.wikispaces.com/file/view/Engaged Encounter weekend notebook - new for 2012.pdf

It basically starts on page 7.

Watching! I haven't even thought about this@!

Our officiant mostly asked us conflict and resolution questions. And we were asked about our relationship with at the time, our future in-laws. We were asked a couple of finance questions too (like, how to avoid debt, etc). I was nervous too, but our sessions were easy going.

I wish I could attach the questionnaire the pastor sent us...he said we don't have to answer all of the questions if we're not comfortable. It asks about previous sexual relationships, and I found that a little uncomfortable. It also asks if you were a victim of any kind of abuse. Not that those things aren't relevant, but I probably won't answer all of them. I also don't think our sessions will be about any of those things, just a way for the pastor to get to know us.

Ours were more thought provoking and introspective than yes, no, one word answers.

Ours was very basic and simple. He is a new pastor to this church and he's young. He put together a few things he found from other Pastors. There were 5 sections, financial matters, relationship issues, marriage life, Spiritually, and additional. There were 10 questions in each section, but he only wanted to talk about a couple in each one.

We were his 1st couple, so he was figuring out how he would like to do this in the future. We were his test subjects basically. lol

but it was easy. Each question the answer just came to us. There was no sitting there and thinking of what to say. Before we knew it we were done.

We pretty much only did it because in MN we get a discount on our marriage license for completely the counseling. Drops the price by $75.

But it was nice to get to know the Pastor marrying us. He is our age so we could relate on a lot of things. He told us he would love to marry us, he can see and feel our chemistry. It was nice to hear that!

We've only had one session with ours so far (two more to go before the wedding!). He gave us a "workbook" to fill out that just had questions in it about how we perceive ourselves and then how we think our partner perceives us. We talked about open lines of communications and he said the most important thing was our views on starting a family and making sure our views on having children aligned.

They really just want to make sure you're addressing all the things that come along with marriage - like making financial decisions together, sharing money/bills etc and that the lines of communication are open for both of your opinions to be heard.

We haven't had it yet, but it will be 5 sessions covering communication, finances, family relationships, etc...I'm not sure what that will look like exactly, but I am looking at it more like a chance to discuss things with my fiance that we might not have thought to talk over that would be good to have covered. We already have good communication, so I'm curious to see how much I learn.

We really didn't have questions. Ours was more of going through scripture and giving us biblical examples of ways to make our marriage stronger. It was amazing.

ETA he did ask if we had discussed the issues of raising my son and what my FH's place was in that dynamic.

I totally agree to pre-marital counseling. My FH and I attended a group Pre-marital class offered though our church. We learned a lot! To truly understand the meaning of Love & how to show at all times is amazing and so challenging. That's what I learned most from class. With an open mind you will get learn much about each other & marraige. Enjoy!!

We are having fun in our sessions! The goal is to build a strong foundation on which all the rest of your lives can stand.