Pregnant bridesmaid.

I don’t think it’s really fair to say she needs to tone down the excitement of her pregnancy to focus on your wedding. If some of your bridesmaids can help you with DIY stuff that’s awesome but I don’t think it’s okay to say you’re relying on them and need them to be there 100%. If you need help with wedding stuff your fiancé should be helping you and there are also day of coordinators or wedding planners available for hire. I say this as someone who had 10 bridesmaids and has been a bridesmaid 14 times, people have lives and multiple exciting and big things can be happening at once.

What?? Sorry but of course her pregnancy is more important to her than your wedding. Its YOUR wedding. And it's not hers, or anyone else's responsibility outside of your FS, to help you plan or do DIY.
I think you need to reevaluate your expectations and be a friend first and a bride second.

Your friend is pregnant and has her own happy event to celebrate just as you do (so I’m sure you understand the joy and shift in focus). Keep in mind that no one is going to put your wedding first in their lives besides you and your FH... and you can’t expect someone else to put “100%” of themselves into your day. Sounds like you selected to have DIY projects. So if you waited until now to “tie up loose ends” then that’s really not on your bridesmaids to pick up the slack. But if you start now I’m sure you can knock out most of the DIY projects and your BMs can assist when they’re able.

Best wishes!

View Quoted Comment I want to celebrate and be excited for her but I also need her to stick to her word with what she's in charge of. When we talk, I can barely get a word in about wedding related things because all she mentions is the baby. While this is fine, I do need her to realize that I'm also trying to be a good friend but also still plan a wedding with the help of my bridesmaid. My bridal shower is this weekend and my MOH has mentioned that she hasn't pitched in much like my other two bridesmaids have.

View Quoted Comment

I want to celebrate and be excited for her but I also need her to stick to her word with what she's in charge of. When we talk, I can barely get a word in about wedding related things because all she mentions is the baby. While this is fine, I do need her to realize that I'm also trying to be a good friend but also still plan a wedding with the help of my bridesmaid. My bridal shower is this weekend and my MOH has mentioned that she hasn't pitched in much like my other two bridesmaids have.

View Quoted Comment What is she in charge of? I don’t think bridesmaids should be in charge of things and I also think life events change things and people around have to adapt. I also don’t think bridesmaids should help plan the wedding so we might have to agree to disagree. I had some bridesmaids help with my shower or bachelorette and others do nothing except show up at the wedding, I still love them all equally and cherish their friendship.

Re. the pregnancy, others have it covered already. This is a very important event in your friend's life and she isn't going to be willing or able to give you 100% of herself from now until your wedding day (she was never going to be able to do this; that simply isn't a fair expectation).

I find it sad that the phrase DIY has shifted from "do it yourself" to "plan projects that can only be done with the help of others". You are not alone in this thinking, but I think it's important to remember that just because you decided to make some things for your wedding instead of buying them, others are not required to provide the labor. Not everyone likes doing crafts or has the time or interest, and that's OK.

Since you have a couple months left, look at your list of remaining "DIYs" and see which ones you can do without (most decor is completely optional), and which ones you can realistically finish on your own or with your FS's help. Then make your game plan relax your expectations on your friends' contributions. I promise you will be much happier that way AND preserve your friendships.

What exactly do you need her to do that she isn’t doing?

I think you’re being a little unfair. Your wedding is YOUR wedding, and this is HER baby. That would be like her asking you to shift your focus from her wedding to her baby because it’s new and exciting. Neither of those is reasonable or more exciting than the other. If you need help crafting DIYs, ask her, and talk about her baby while you guys are working on it. Be mindful that during her first trimester she’ll feel tired, sick, and majorly messed up. Be respectful of that, understand it, and don’t hold it against her. And maybe tell her how you feel - that you’re happy her baby is coming and you want to be there for her, emotionally, and you’d like her to be there emotionally for you too and you’re not feeling that at the moment.

I'm sure she is still excited for your wedding, just also super excited for her own pregnancy. What exactly what she doing prior that she isn't doing now? My MOH & BM didn't do any wedding planning or DIY work, I don't think it's fair to put that on them. Bridesmaids shouldn't be "in charge of" anything besides getting their dress & showing up (and bach & bridal shower if they can afford it) unless they are being paid to do it.

She's not an employee, she's your friend. The only thing she should be "in charge of" is getting the right dress and showing up to the wedding. Everything else is optional/extra. You and FH are responsible for any DIY projects, because this is your wedding, and you decided to do these things. If some of your BMs want to help out, that's a bonus for you. But nobody is obligated, and you shouldn't hold it against them if they can't do it.

It's not unusual that your friend wants to talk about the baby, and not much else. This is probably a really exciting time in her life--more exciting than her friend getting married. So, cut her some slack. I think you need to reevaluate (and lower) your expectations. Again, these are your friends, not employees. Be a friend first, bride second.

Bridesmaids shouldn't be in charge of things. If you're DIYing things, you actually need to do them YOURSELF or with the help of your FI. There is no reason she needs to pitch in on anything unless she wants to, which sounds like she doesn't right now. And that's fine. Just because she's not doing things for you doesn't mean she's not happy for you and supportive of your wedding.